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The Benefits of a Break Up

Updated on February 26, 2017

It is a painful, heart-wrenching experience for those who have undergone it. It’s not something to smile about. In fact, it is an experience no one who has undergone it would want to experience it again. It comes as a wonder how beneficial a break up is. In reality, for every negative experience a person undergoes, there’s always the positive side. As you deal with the breakup, remember at the same time the breakup is helping you in ways you would never imagine as delineated below.

First, You Become Compassionate

When you have gone through a hurtful situation, you’ll be in a position to understand how it feels when somebody else is going through the same event. As such, you’ll be in a better stand to help somebody who is undergoing it in compassionate ways since you know how it feels when a heart is broken.


Second, You Feel Free

Some relationships are very controlling and demanding. Such relationships make it hard to breathe in properly. It’s a fact love is jealous. You will not feel good when you always see your partner smiling and talking a lot with people of opposite sex. However, jealousy that goes overboard is destructive. You end up becoming a controlling person such that your partner feels like a caged animal. A break up helps you to feel free again, not imprisoned in a relationship in the name of love.

Third, You Learn

There are two or three things you will learn from the failed relationship. You will have an idea of what a relationship is, how a strong relationship works, what to consider when you jump into another relationship, and what to look for in a partner. You learn the signs to look for so you don’t fall into a person who is out there to play devil’s game. There’re valuable lessons you’ll learn in the failed relationship.


Fourth, You Change For the Better

One of the greatest benefits of breakups is you attitude and behaviors change for the better. Breakups act like a mirror. They show who the really us are, and which areas in our lives need changes. If we were rude we try to deal with this behavior. We learn the hard way thereby we end up changing our behaviors because of that realization. We find if we continue with these kinds of negative behaviors and attitudes we won’t go far in our lives including our future relationships.

Fifth, You Become Creative

The most inspiring stories, songs, poems and any other form of art has been as a result of a person going through a hurtful period. Ever watched a movie, read a book or poem or listened to a song, and it touched your heart to a greater depth? The person who wrote the script, poem or song underwent a painful experience. Breakup aids you in expressing yourself in a clear manner. When a person (including yourself) reads or sees your art, the person is comforted, inspired or encouraged not to give up in life. The stories we read, the quotes we bounce upon, the poems that touch our hearts, the songs that speak to our hearts, the paintings that offer a deep insight and any other art forms are venues people have been able to use to inspire or encourage themselves and other people.


Sixth, You Know Your True Friends

After a breakup, who will stick with you? Who will be there to encourage or comfort you? Which friends will run away or avoid you at all costs? Who will be there with you till you regain energy and are able to walk again? Post-break up will help you know who your true friends, friends with benefits or seasonal friends are.

Seventh, Remember Yourself

Relationships can make you forget who you are. This is especially the case whereby you are the one who is trying hard to make the relationship work. You are the one who seems committed to the relationship. You are the one running up and down in ensuring the relationship doesn’t become stagnant. It is exhausting and as a result you forget yourself. You forget an institution is made up of individuals. All your energies are directed towards your partner and the relationship. A break up makes you to remember yourself. You end up appreciating yourself and promising to treat yourself better from now (and in your future relationship) till the last breath.

Eighth, You Refocus On Goals

Some relationships are exhausting. They are toxic, very demanding. They totally sap your emotional and physical energy. In most cases, you jumped blindly into these relationships. As a result the fellowship made you forget what it is you want to accomplish in life. You forget to follow-through your goals. You had totally forgotten about them. Being single once again enables you to work through your goals with a mind of seeing you fulfilling them. We all know the importance of setting goals of which one of them is to become successful in life – not necessarily rich.

Ninth, You Gain Inner Strength

You will know how it feels going through a hurtful situation such as a break up. In essence, what you have undergone, which is termed as a trial, will aid you in gaining an inner strength. This strength will help you stand up against any other hurtful situation you’ll undergo. Yes, you’ll feel hurt if another break up happens but you will not fall flat, taking a long-time to stand up like the first time. You’ll fall and stand up immediately. Consider it as a trial which will help you stand tall against any other hurtful event you’ll come across.

Tenth, You Break the Chains

After a break up happens, you develop a feeling of hatred. You hate your ex with passion. You instantly treat him like an enemy. Far worse than the devil you have never seen. As you search online on how to deal with a break up, you learn the importance of forgiveness. As you forgive you break the chains which would from present to future make your life difficult to live. This will prove beneficial in forgiving people who hurt you in one way or another as you will have learned what happens when you don’t forgive.

To sum up, as much as breakups are hurting, on the other side they’re beneficial. They offer a different perspective of which we would have never known, change our mindset, makes us strong, makes us conscious on the sufferings of other people who are hurt, and makes us to be better than we were before. If you have broken up with your partner or have already broken up, don’t forget to remember there is more to breakup than just hurt. It is negative but at the same time it is positive (on not-a-so-quite-good-way but nonetheless good way).


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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 5 months ago

      HPJ, Relationships are not mandatory.

      Therefore if you are in a relationship it's because you (want) to be in one. Any so called "freedoms" one gives up are those they feel they can do without or else they wouldn't made that choice.

      Whether one is in a relationship or ending one it's (their) choice!

      No one should complain about getting what they (want).

    • HPJ Exim Pvt Ltd profile image

      HPJ Exim Pvt Ltd 5 months ago from India

      as per the my experience if you are in a relation ship you have a limitation about your freedom like you have to get time for chatting and talk everyday evening, morning.

      But after the breakup you can spend your time as you wish.

    • no body profile image

      Robert E Smith 6 months ago from Rochester, New York

      I have to admit that I wouldn't have thought of so many benefits in such a painful situation. I would guess, should a person have these in mind and examine their circumstances, this list could go a long way to helping the person heal. The profound pain and feeling of hopelessness are suffocating and the focus that pondering some of these good points could be enough for some folks to end up much stronger. I think you did a great job on the positive spin. Bob.

    • Bangii Dambio profile image

      Bangi Dambio 6 months ago from Johannesburg, South Africa

      Well said cant agree more @dashingscorpio

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 6 months ago

      Excellent points!

      Keep things in perspective and avoid looking at your past relationship with "rose tinted glasses". In order for your (ex) to have been "the one" he/she would have had to see (you) as being "the one"!

      At the very least a "soul-mate" is someone who actually WANTS to be with you! (And vice versa).

      Every ending is a new beginning!

      Ideally with age, experience, and maturity each relationship we have is better because we know ourselves better as well as knowing whatever it is we want and need in a mate. We become "better shoppers"!

      Thankfully we live on a planet with over 7 Billion people to choose from.

      Life is a (personal) journey!

      A bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you fail to make the turn.