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How to Have Great Pillow Talk

Updated on June 7, 2014

One of the great things about marriage is being able to lie down next to your spouse every night when the day is done and share intimate moments together. The kids are asleep, and there’s no more work or television getting in the way. You have each other’s undivided attention. It’s the perfect time to have a little pillow talk: soothing and undisturbed open dialogue while cozy in bed. You can open up like a story book about your hopes and dreams, settle a misunderstanding or simply say I love you all before the sun goes down. Not to mention, you can cuddle before, during and after.

Conversations that cultivate a deep emotional connection are so important when it comes to maintaining a healthy relationship. So it's no surprise that research indicates that couples who have pillow talk on a regular basis have better overall communication and healthier interactions with each other.

What to Talk About During Pillow Talk

Pillow talk can happen right after a night of passion or lead up to one. However, sharing this intimate verbal exchange alone may be all you need. That is because the warm conversation by itself is an expression of sheer love and establishes a deep connection. Whenever you have it, here are some things you may want to talk about.

Topics for Pillow Talk
Overview of Your Day
Simply talk about your day. What happened? What little things made you laugh or perhaps, what made you upset?
Let me tell you what happened today...
Express what you love about the other person; physical features or personal attributes. Or, point out a specific thing that was said or done that made you smile.
I love it when you...
Hopes, Dreams & Desires
Discuss where you see yourselves as a couple. Together, what are your goals? Individually, what are your desires? You could even pray together.
I can see us...
Along with compliments, discuss how you’re supportive and be uplifting. Spouses often know just the right words to encourage the other.
You're really good at...
Make sure you don’t let the sun go down on your anger. If you need to, apologize or forgive. Making up will be worth it.
I can't stay mad at you because...
Random Thoughts
Be random and just have fun. Reminisce about an inside joke, a favorite movie line or an unforgettable date night out together.
Remember that time we...

Unspoken Rules for Pillow Talk

As one can expect, there are certain unspoken rules that go along with pillow talk. These will help to ensure that things remain peaceful and joyous.

Be Considerate

When there is an understood level of love and respect, listening and open communication is better achieved. Always take one another's feelings into consideration. You know what pushes your spouse's buttons. So, don't go there. That also means no insults or accusatory language.

Be Open and Honest

If you end up having one of those deep conversations, be real and authentic with your spouse. Just make sure to always dip your words in honey first, and say them with love.

Be Attentive

Falling asleep during pillow talk may be cute sometimes, but try not to make it a habit. Be attentive and engage with active listening skills. It's okay to let your spouse know if you're tired or fighting to keep your eyes open.

Cuddle Up

This is by no means mandatory, but makes things even more special. It's something about cuddling that creates an atmosphere of comfort and safety. Speaking from the heart becomes easy.

© 2014 Crissylite


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    • mothersofnations profile image

      Mothers of Nations 3 years ago

      Great article. It's always nice to have those moments to yourselves in the evenings, simply enjoying each other's company -- quality time. I find the silence is just as beautiful - expressions that words cannot replace*

      God bless you.