- Gender and Relationships
The Best Relationship Advice I Ever Got
Does your man not treat you right?
I have had my share of relationship problems. I’ve dated guys who have:
- · Used me for money
- · Used me for my body
- · Used me for my kindness
- Destroyed personal things of mine
- · Left me with huge credit debt
- · Stopped calling instantly
- · Stole money from me for drugs
- · Stole my car
- · Gone to Jail
- · Lied, lied, and lied some more
And so much more...
I had some good guys in their but to be honest I’ve dated just about every jerk in the book, and the worst thing I did throughout these relationships is accommodate them! I know it sounds ridiculous, but I would always turn a blind eye to their ‘faults’ and instead focus on my undying love on their ‘positive traits’ (which were few and far between looking back on it.)
The relationship advice I received from friends had obvious good intentions but didn’t really penetrate my misguided mind at the time.
Some of the advice went like this:
- · Leave him, he’s a jerk!
- · I don’t like him for you; I think you should find someone who treats you better.
- · You deserve better.
It was always telling me how I should leave the guy because he doesn’t treat me right and why I should leave him – but that was never enough to make me break up with these losers, and eventually I would end up with heartache from them breaking up with me or doing something SO stupid that I had to break up with them (with a butt-load of heartache to take with me!)
So one day I was reading something, somewhere and found the best relationship advice I have ever got from anybody. I can’t remember where I read it now – but I know that it changed the way I dated. In fact, I met my husband right after I realized this advice was true.
The relationship advice that changed my life?
Be True To Yourself in Relationships and Only Accept What You Want To Give.
That’s it. That’s all.
It resonated as the truth to me because I have always done what I wanted – except for in relationships.
I wanted to party – I partied.
I wanted to take that course in college that would get my absolutely nowhere but cost hundreds of dollars – I was in the front row.
I wanted to move to a new home because I was growing tired of where I was – I moved.
I never stopped listening to my inner self when it came to things other than boyfriends – so why was I accepting whatever guy came along when it came to dating? Why was I accepting guys that treated me bad even though I treated them well?
From that point on I started to dislike guys that didn’t please me and fit my life. If they were losers without a job then I didn’t date them because I wanted a guy who had a job and goals in life – because I had a job and goals in life.
Other requirements were:
- · Someone with no kids because I don’t want kids.
- · Drug and alcohol free because I’m not an addict and don’t need to put up with addicts.
- · Someone who loved music because I love music.
- · Someone who could make me laugh because I enjoy laughing.
- · Someone who drove.
- · Someone who had their head on straight.
Once I started making these ‘requirements’ for a perfect guy to date I stopped accepting losers into my life and started to notice the guys that really fit my life better.
And I found a guy.
He fit my life perfectly. He allowed me to be myself and accepted me for who I was. He was a guy with a future and a lot going for him. And I wouldn’t have accepted less because I wouldn’t give less.
And oh yeah, he's a really really good guy and our relationship grows happier everyday instead of more distant.
So maybe that relationship advice will work for you. Don't accept a guy (or girl) into your life who doesn't treat you the way you treat others or deserve to be treated..
Don't accept someone who uses you, treats you bad, and has a lifestyle you don't agree with just because they make you tingly inside. Have some patience for the right person instead of accepting the next person.