The Best has Yet to Come
And yes I do believe that the best is yet to come.
This is my untold story
Since this is kinda sorta my first blog, I am going to re-cap things that has happened in my life for the past 5 years or so. At the age of 18 I met this awesome down to earth guy who just so happened to be in the Army stationed at Schofield Barracks Hawaii. We fell in love and did not care about the people and their side comments about our age difference. So yes it is kinda obvious that he was older than me, by 11 years. He got out of the Army and started to work for my dad, the pay would have sufficed but because he had 2 kids child support was kicking his butt. He decided to get back in the Army in 2008, he has less than a month to figure out what he was going to do before the big move to Ft. Lewis, WA. So after 3 years of being together we got married. I was the most happiest girl in the world.
But things only went down hill from there, the first few months of being in Washington was like heaven. We got our first apartment together, our first pet together and it was just like a dream come true. Then all the arguing came. We would fight about money, about what I didn't do and what he did to. We would fight about me making new friends and having them show me around or even taking me to a bar or nightclub in downtown Seattle. It was like he could do all of those but I wasn't allowed to. It was like I was that wife that was suppose to be left at home behind closed doors and no one was suppose to know that I existed. The argueing never stopped there.
After only have been in Washington for about 4 months, he had already had orders to get deployed to Afghanistan. The plan was to put everything in storage but 1 car and send me back to Hawaii to be with my family untill his return back to the states. UMmMm... Yeah that so did not happen. We packed our stuff put it in storage and left me to do the rest. Deployment date came around, and he wanted nothing to do with me. Gave me a hug told me "I love you" and he was on the bus, just sitting and waiting for it to leave, while all the other soldiers were still with there families saying there goodbyes. My thought process was, he was having a difficult time leaving me behind and he did not want me to see his tears. (And for the longest time through out his deployment I believed it. I thought that he had turned into the loving person that I once knew.) Then I went back to my empty apartment that I had less than 24 hours to move out of. Reality sunked in, he left me in Washington with no place to live, no plans to send me back to Hawaii. I had to act fast, I stayed with the only friend I had met for a few weeks till I could find an apartment. Found an apartment in about 2 weeks and moved into it myself, boxes after boxes. Thank god a few of my husbands soldiers hadn't deployed yet so they could help me move the furniture into the house.
Living next door to me was one of his soldiers that was getting ready to deploy with the rest. He had a girlfriend and we became good friends after only meeting once. She moved in with me after only knowing each other for 2 weeks. I figured having a roommate would occupy my time and make the days go by faster so that I could be with my husband again. Me and my husband constantly argued while he was deployed. It was like one day he loved me and the next day he hated me. I would have vivid nightmares of him getting hurt and I would wake up in the middle of the night hysterical, and the weird part about all of this is that he would call me right after telling me that he was going on a big mission and that he loved me. As months went by the argueing get worse, he would tell me that he wanted a divorce and how he didn't want to be with me anymore. While he was deployed he told me he wanted a divorce at least 10 times. I just don't know how he expected me to love him the same after the 4th or 5th time of saying that.
When he came home on R&R it was different, the love was there anymore and the flame had burnt out. Not only did I notice it, so did my Dad because he came to see him on R&R. Even during his 2 weeks vacation he told me that he wanted a divorce. Well we seemed to have worked out our differences and took a vacation to Chicago before he had to go back overseas. And everything seemed back to almost perfect. We told each other every single day how much we loved each other so on and so forth.
Now this is where all hell breaks loose!!
About a month or so before he got back from deployment, I needed to figure out what were the plans when he got back. As far as having his kids for the summer and taking them to Chicago, so I decided to log onto his facebook to see if his son wrote him some messages. But I found more than that. I found several private message that he wrote back and worth 1 one female in particular, Lude, Explicit content about how he wanted to have sex with her when he got back. I mean talking about how they were going to start it, to the oral sex and finishing up sex explicit. HmMmM.. Now how is a girl to think when she see's this kind of stuff that her husband is writing to another female. Now ontop of that one girl, he wrote to other girls mocking me in one of them, thanking them for the pictures that they had sent him, and talking about how he was going to divorce me when he got back. Wow! He had already planned this all out.
If it wasn't for friend that was at my house at that very moment I discovered these letters, I probably would have just jumped off my 3rd story balcony. I was very suicidal at that point in time, no one really knows this but I was. And this is why I call this my Untold Story.
This blog is already long enough, so I want to save the rest for another blog. But if you stay tuned for the next blog I will talk about the physical and mental abuse I took from him when he got back, and how I was held hostage.