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The Challenges Of Being Single

Updated on August 22, 2014
lisln profile image

I am a mother of three wonderful adult children, and I'm also a born-again Christian. I love to share my personal experiences.

Author Lorlinda

Challenges Of Being Single

For me, the most challenging thing about being single is not knowing what my future will be, it's a challenge to get so wrapped up in what we want that we forget what God wants for us.

Well...I'm tired of living by other people's expectations, especially my own. If God has promised me a soul mate well.

I'm just going to have to take him at his word and stop focusing on what other people did, or stop getting down on myself because this relationship didn't work out or that other one didn't either.

The best thing we can do for our self is stay committed to the Lord and take one day at a time and just rest assure that He has your future at His best interest.

Being single is not the end of the world it has its advantages too.

You can give more time to the Lord without having to attend to a mate. There Is Also Power in Associating with Other Singles.

2 Corinthians 1:4 -
He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us..

Sometimes our problems are bigger than we can handle alone. We need help. But remember, if we want others to help us, we need to be willing to help them when they have needs.

Galatians 6:2 -
2 Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Christians bear one another's burdens

Trust In The lord


Trust God Instead Of Blaming God

If we blame God for our singleness we’re not likely to see many blessings during the single periods of our lives.

If we become obsessed with finding someone we can easily drive others away or find somebody who is not good for us at all.

Being single again isn’t so bad. I sometimes didn’t like it when I was married and my mate and I would fight, not literally but we would have our disagreements. That took a lot of emotional strain on the both of us.

Being single can get lonely at times but it sure beats the emotional ups and downs you go through when you are in a relationship that isn’t working for the two of you.

What can single people do to live fulfilling lives?

We can find joy in each day. We can talk and listen to others. We can form friendships and make plans to do things with others. We can volunteer in areas that we find interesting and fulfilling. We can seek out others who are single and make plans to do things with them.

We don’t have to be looking toward marriage or to be completely compatible in order to go to a movie, concert or play with somebody else. We can have many kinds of friendships. So if we want good friends it’s important that we be a good friend.

Perhaps marriage is God's plan for us Perhaps it isn't.

If we lose our husband or wife we might consider being married again. Some of us would not consider that at all.

But for me that is something that I can’t take lightly. I know to well that if your willing to go to the altar and for some of us more then once. Just remember that an altar is also a place where sacrifices are performed. Meaning that you better be willing to make some sacrifices if your planning on getting married again and it isn’t going to always be smooth sailing.

So you better go into with your eyes wide opened. Because it isn’t worth getting hurt or hurting others if your not really willing to make some changes, which takes hard work.

Be very serious this time around. If you, yourself don’t make changes, the samething can happen again and again. I am not saying it is entirely you or me but what I am saying is that it takes two to tangle.

Even if your partner made the choice to leave you for someone else although he is at fault for going outside of his vows. You are not completely faultless in the failed marriage.

So please be sure that your willing to do your part so that when and if you decide to marry again or get married for the first time, that you are sure of yourself and listen to the direction that you feel that the Lord is taking you. Then over time…..

We can discern our direction in life. If we would really like to be married it probably isn’t the wisest to decide exactly how long we’ll remain single. We might end up making a choice that is less than wise.

It’s probably best not for us to be dreary about life during our single days either. Not many people look for dreary people to marry.

If we try to enjoy every day of our lives no matter what, then our lives will be fuller and richer. Look for a mate in desperation isn’t good. Living each day to the fullest is best.

God Has Good Plans We just have to have faith

Before we were put together in our mother’s womb, God knew us.

As we grow up and develop our gifts and talents, we learn a bit about what our vocation in life might be. As we form relationships with others, we can experience the presence of God.

We can gain confidence as we succeed at things we found difficult. We can share ourselves and our love deeply with family members and friends. All the time, we can know God’s love for us.

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” ~Jeremiah 1:5

God knew us before we were even born and He does have a plan: Did you know that the best people seem to come into our lives naturally, when we hardly notice it is happening. Let me encourage you that God has good plans for you.

During this time of my singleness I would of never have opened the door to having anyone in my life because of the past history and present history of feeling betwayed by the man who was supposed to love me until death do us part.

But the Lord did have a plan for my life and my daughters life as well. A man came into my life that I was not opened to even begin a serious relationship with. I was still grieving from another loss. But this man stuck around and God used him to help me see who I was and to help me make some changes within myself.

I still have a long ways to go but I do believe that this man was sent to me by God to be there when I was down and to be brave enough to show me things about myself that I just wasn’t willing to admit but now am a better person because of it. God does have a plan we just need to trust him with it.

Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord , “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (NIV).

It takes a step of faith to believe that God has GOOD plans for us, especially if we’re getting older and things don’t seem to be happening.

Develop your relationship In Any Type Of Relationship

Finally, have you considered that being single is an excellent opportunity to develop your relationship with God? The Apostle Paul was one of the Bible’s great single people. He pointed out several ways that being single helps your relationship with God.
Let’s look at this passage:

The Singles Today

Challenges are many for the single

Don't Worry Take One Day At A Time

Don’t worry about tomorrow just take one day at a time. Everything happens for a reason and if we trust God with that reason we won’t fail. If something or someone is mean’t to be then it will happen. So why waste your time worrying?

God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

The Singles Today Challenges are many for the single

Here are some Challenges that singles face today. What is your greatest challenge?

See results

Christian dating sites

What is your thought about Christian dating sites?

See results


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    • profile image

      Seriously Speaking 

      6 years ago

      Thanks again, and have a good holiday.

    • lisln profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Denver Colorado

      Times have changed I realize that but it can be both men and women. Men go after what they want regardless what they leave behind and that means family. But women are doing the same thing it is about self and it don't matter who is hurt along the way and that is a shame. Thank you for your honest input. Chin up and have faith since you are without fault in this someone will come around when your not looking. I know that is always being said but there is a lot of truth to it. Hang in there...... there are still good women out there.

    • profile image

      Seriously Speaking 

      6 years ago

      Hi Iisln, being all Alone now for me is very hard. I was married at one time myself before she cheated on me, and i was a very caring and loving husband that was very much committed to her as well. Now going out all over again is the very hard part since many of us men get rejected a lot by the women that we would very muck like to meet. Women today are so much different than the women of years ago, and both men and women had to struggle to make ends meat. It certainly was much easier meeting women years ago since women had no choice to accept us men for who we were which money was never an issue like it is for most of them nowadays. Since most women today are very independent, they're making much more money than many of us men do since they don't need a man to survive anymore. That certainly has a lot to do with it, why there are so many single men like us that are having a very difficult time trying to meet a good woman today to settle down with. We really can't blame ourselves since we did not do anything wrong on our part. And what i will never understand is that these women will go out with the ugliest men that i have even seen in my life, and they must have a lot of money i guess. Very sad that many men are being taken advantage today, ugly or not. It is very sad that there are so many women nowadays that are so Very Pathetic. The women today are very lucky that they were not in the past since they would had to struggle like the women did back then. Well thank you very much for your support.

    • lisln profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Denver Colorado

      I understand that there are some nasty women and men as well but there are a few good ones left I am one of them :) Hang in there you just never know.

    • profile image

      Seriously Speaking 

      6 years ago

      Hate being single, especially when all my friends are settled down with a family. why not me? Then again, there are just too many very nasty women out there nowadays.


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