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Updated on October 24, 2017
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Christina is a Relationship Counselor/Author/Columnist. She Completed graduate studies in Psychology and Developmental Counseling.

The Cheating Game

The Cheating Game

It is a known fact that, “Cheaters never win”. Whether you are playing a sports event, a board game, or whether you are cheating on a test - the reality is that you did not win by your talent or skill alone. You may have won visibly but internally, within your heart, you know that you have done wrong. Cheating is like an addiction. As long as you see yourself getting away with it, you will continue to do it until you get caught. Once he’s caught, an addict tries to cover up or justify his actions. In the long-run it doesn’t work, so therefore he loses.
Hence, “Cheaters never win”.

So if you are thinking about cheating, think again.

Cheating is a temporary fix resulting in permanent damage.

The same applies to relationship cheating.


People have many different reasons for cheating in a relationship. For example:

1. Some cheaters may not be happy in their current relationship.
2. Some cheaters may be seeking more of a variety within their relationship.
3. Some cheaters may just give in to temptation.

For whatever reason, cheaters think that cheating can be hidden from their mate.

If you are a cheater, consider the fact that there are two parties involved in the cheating . . . you and your cheating partner. You may not be the one to tell your mate about your infidelity, but your cheating partner will. He/she will get tired of being second in line to your mate.

Every participant in a relationship wants to feel special. You may be able to get away with cheating for a certain length of time, but eventually the affair will reveal itself.


People plan on cheating with the intent of not getting caught. If caught, they devise a plan to lie about the incident. However, the truth will come out.


1. Cheating will destroy the trust in your current relationship.
2. Cheating will break up the family unit if children are involved.
3. Cheating will ruin the dynamics of your relationship never to recover.


If you feel your relationship is going sour, then either work on it or end it. If there are kids involved, it may be worth trying to work on it. If you are already in a good relationship, but have run into a dry spot, don’t feed into temptation. Discuss it with your mate in a non-accusatory manner to work it out.

As previously mentioned, cheating is a temporary fix resulting in permanent damage. First you have to determine what you are trying to fix and then realize it is not worth the permanent damage.

Most cheaters do not stay with the person they are cheating with; so it is not worth the risk of losing the relationship you’ve built over an extensive length of time.

© 2017 Christina Leigh


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    • dashingscorpio profile image


      12 months ago

      1. Some cheaters may not be happy in their current relationship.

      2. Some cheaters may be seeking more of a variety within their relationship.

      3. Some cheaters may just give in to temptation.

      "People plan on cheating with the intent of not getting caught. If caught, they devise a plan to lie about the incident. However, the truth will come out." Very true!

      The goal of most cheaters is to hold onto all that is "good" in their primary relationship while addressing their other "needs" on the side. Whatever they are unhappy about or feel is "missing" in their relationship does not rise to the level of being a "deal breaker". Therefore they want to "compliment" what they already have.

      Very few cheaters are looking to (replace) one relationship with another. They chose cheating over a breakup or divorce.

      Sometimes people cheat in order to (stay) or tolerate a relationship/marriage that offers them a good living standard.

      Hypothetically lets say there is a 45 year old married man with three children whose wife has gone through menopause and has lost all interest in sex. They've had discussions and tried a few things but eventually it became apparent she simply had no desire to continue making an effort.

      From his point of view he has three options.

      1. Accept the fact that his sex life is over.

      2. Run down to the courthouse to file for divorce, move out of his home into a one bedroom condo, become a weekend dad, pay child support and possibly alimony, split up all assets as well as friends and family who choose sides.

      3. Find a woman who is attracted to him and desires sex.

      As you noted most cheaters don't expect to get caught therefore cheating might sound like the perfect solution.

      The truth is people who cheat don't want to make sacrifices. "They want it all." The only sacrifice is if they get caught and their mate/spouse wants out. Even then some cheaters are "relieved" when they get caught and opt to finally leave an unhappy relationship/marriage.

      They want the stability of a monogamous relationship along with the ability to indulge sexually or emotionally with others. For some people monogamy is like going on a strict diet. It's not a matter of (if) they will cheat but (when). Cheating is a (selfish) act.

    • Mystee Crockett profile image

      Mystee Crockett 

      12 months ago from Everywhere You Want To Be

      Interesting article. I think there are a lot of reasons people cheat. Usually, the reasons are less about the relationship, and more about what's going on for the person cheating.

    • profile image

      lizzy rost1 

      13 months ago

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