- Gender and Relationships
The Craze- Straight Women of All Ages Experimenting With Other Woman. Why?
So What's With This Craze?
There is a HUGE rise in 'straight' women experimenting with other women. It seems that women of all ages are dabbling with the role coined bi-sexuality. Today, it is hard to find a female who at one point has not kissed, fantasized, or even dated another woman. I was told by one gay female that she barely knows any women who did not have a "gay" encounter during college. Is it possible that with gay and straight on opposite ends of the continuum that bi-sexuality is actually the "norm"? Years ago alcohol was the "excuse". Today no excuses necessary. It is quite possibly the latest thing to do!
Who Is Doing It and Where?
I know several gay woman. Each one of them told me, this Summer, on separate occasions that they were dating "straight" woman. It sounded so funny to me, " I am dating a STRAIGHT woman. "Not so straight I thought" at the time. Now, none of these ladies know each other and range in age from 21 to 45. I thought to myself how odd. This can't be an accident. I immediately got the idea to write about it. Over the past several months I have been following up with all these women on what is going on in their lives. I have spent hours talking to them on their observations and feelings on this shift in society. I have posted on the Internet questions as to find out what is going on.
It seems that this is a trend all over the country. I have been told that young girls are kissing other girls when boys aren't around just for the fun of it. College campuses are filled with girl on girl experiences. Even if a girl is not "otherwise" likely to experiment she will do it anyway just to "do it". This of course opens up a whole new topic of what the boys think about that. Girls are likely to do it because it will make them "more" popular with the boys. The online personals have a large cropping of women seeking first time experiences and woman offering themselves to these straight women.
Women in their 20s, 30s, 40s and 50s deciding to cross the line. Why? No drunken college excuses now. Apparently on any given night a gay woman will find a plethora of straight, attractive, woman looking to see what it is like. These woman are often and likely to have boyfriends, engaged or even married. Straight clubs often offer a Gay night. Apparently, droves of woman go for fun just to see happens. Many places you can walk in and think you are in a fashion magazine. Beautiful feminine woman who are breaking the stero-type.
Using my 3 friends as examples this is what I found: Friend 1: went on a few dates with a girl who went on a vacation. When she got back she called my friend to go "out". While out she sprang this on her, "Well, when I was away I got married! My husband doesn't really mind since you are a girl." She, also, recently was hit on by a woman 27 years her senior who is a widow with 3 kids.
Friend 2: Is working at a school with a straight girl who has been dating her boyfriend for 2 years (I have seen this girl looks os young and almost like a child). My friend strikes up a friendship with the straight girl and before you know it real feelings develop and a relationship slowly begins. During which point the boyfriend proposes and she gets engaged! Bam! The relationship between the woman increased sexually to a total reciprocal relationship. Still engaged and in love with two people....different genders. The fiancé does not know "everything' but is not concerned because it is only a girl.
Friend 3: A seasoned lesbian. Starting at a very young age straight women have been the majority of woman that have liked her. In fact, she told me she has only dated 4 fully gay women. This does not please her she has other difficulties with this-saved for another Hub. She is currently being heavily pursued by a much younger "straight" girl with a boyfriend of 3 years. This young woman is buying her gifts, calling her and texting her daily. She spends hours at her job just watching her and is excessively jealous. All while having a long distance boyfriend. All this prior to even one date. Finally my friend caved and went out with her explaining, "I have done the straight thing and I am really not into it and you have a boyfriend now anyway." Still all starry eyed gifts and calls continue.
Note: All three of the woman I know all like "femme" girls.
This is really the question? It seems that the younger girls are doing it because they can and it is intriguing to try something new. Again the boys like it. The media plays it up as a fun option. The Katy Perry Song we all know, I Kissed a Girl and I Liked it has really set a standard in the bars. Boys can be more threatening than girls, simple. A girl can offer the communicating side the boys may not. Plus, there is no friendship like your sisters. If a boy hurts you go to the girlfriends?
Now the most interesting area are the older more experienced women in there 30s and 40 plus. I hear that once again the communication between women is so much stronger than it is with men it weighs heavily on this. Mid-Life Crisis another major factor. MLC hits woman at different ages it is not just 40s anymore. There is an air of self confidence a woman achieves later in life. She is more aware and brave sexually than maybe in her younger years. A feeling of really knowing what she wants and when. Maybe by an older age it is just a stone unturned or something to add their Bucket List. Why not? Many woman want the power that sleeping with another woman can give them. Oddly, I hear that when a straight woman decides to experiment she may call all the shots sexually and is the aggressor. From my research I have found that many of these straight women will have no problem with sexually stimulating their lesbian partners but never let the lesbian touch them. They may feel if they don't derive too much obvious pleasure they really didn't "do it". They are faithful to their ideals, boyfriends and husbands? The are able to continue.......
Whatever the reasons are it is surely on the rise and shows a major change in society, sexuality and stero-types.
There are many things to be considered with this new craze. How does this effect the dynamics between men and woman as well as girls and their friends. How does this impact the lesbian community? Lesbians are now having to deal with many new issues dealing with and falling for women who like men. The sexual experience between women is vastly different between women and men. How is that addressed? How are couples satisfied? How is heart break avoided?
I will continue to research this and address these issues in furture Hubs.