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The Dating Shame

Updated on June 4, 2010
Courtesy of Newell Family Fotos
Courtesy of Newell Family Fotos

The way we were

Can you remember when people met, fell in love, and got married without the use of the media? Yes Virginia, believe it or not people managed to fall in love without the bachelor, or eHarmony. There was the chance meeting at the grocery store, or maybe the gas station, and there were even those soul mates which were found in church.

In the twenty first Century however, it takes more than just a wink or a smile; now it is all about financial stability. Before dating can even be considered one must allow access to his or her portfolio. While it’s true that background checks of one’s intended is not only acceptable it is considered in some circles an absolute necessity.

All will agree that you can’t be too careful in this day and age of cyber stalking and identity theft. However most of those same people will deny that they are looking for the golden child, rather than soul mate. Greed and apathy can be seen in every aspect of American life, but it is nowhere bolder than the love affair.

Marriages Made in Hollywood

Reality shows like the “Bachelor and Bachelorette” are prime examples of this, young man and women show no shame as morals and ethics go out the window in the race to be chosen. By now I am sure many of you reading this are screaming foul and liar, but ask yourself this question: “Would you marry or even date a former Bachelor contestant?”

Can you imagine the kind of conversation they would provoke at dinner parties? Yes we have all seen Richard Gear and Julia Roberts in “Pretty woman”, and yes it is true that several of these contestants fifteen minutes of fame turned into a Hollywood career for them.

The Real Reality

Then there is the rest of the story, depending on how they acted on the show, many of these people sealed their doom on finding a soul mate. Credibility is like virginity when it’s gone, it’s gone, for many of these young contestants, their credibility is the first thing to go. Then on top of licking his or her wounds and dealing with the rejection of “not being chosen;” life goes on and they still must find and secure a meaningful relationship.

The one major casualty in the lives of the former reality stars is trust, how can they convince their potential suitors and/or possibly soon to be significant others that it was all just an act? It is difficult at best to try and explain that reality isn’t really, real! Another drawback is fame without fortune, because of their high degree of exposure these people are going to be noticed. That may be great for them but to the one they are with it can be a nightmare.


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    • Joe Badtoe profile image

      Joe Badtoe 

      8 years ago from UK

      Seems to be the fashion these days to evaluate wealth and prospects before love and trust. It's a sad state to be in when folk are getting married whilst having one eye on the divorce settlement.

      I once saw some minor celebrity girl being nterviewd and she was asked why her and her equally minority celeb husband were always in trashy gossip magazines (telling the most inane stories about their vacuous life under lights)and she said 'well it means we have big cars and big houses'. There was no mention of love.


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