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The Difference Between “loving” Someone and Being “in Love” With Someone

Updated on May 27, 2019
HappyKay001 profile image

I’m no expert at love, but trust me, I have personally experienced the heartbreak of confusing being “in love” with plain ol’ regular love.

What is love? - A general outlook.

Photo curtesy of Pexels, a royalty free image website.
Photo curtesy of Pexels, a royalty free image website. | Source

“When someone else's happiness is your happiness, that is love.”

— Lana Del Rey

What is love? That is a question that we all ask ourselves at some point in our lives. But, love can be anything. Loving someone can often make you feel like you are invincible. Love can also make your palms sweaty and make your heartbeat grow ten times in speed. But, love can also be very scary. Love can be painful and loving someone can break your heart.

But, if that’s the case, then what exactly is love? According to Merriam - Webster dictionary, love is “A strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties.”

So, basically what the Merriam - Webster dictionary means is that love is simply the feeling that you get once you become fond of a person or thing that comes from the connection that you have with them. Anyone can love anything. You can feel love towards another person or you can feel love towards your pet - or even a car. Love comes in all shapes and sizes and nobody can really predict when love will happen for them next.

So, when does regular “love” start to turn into being “in love” with someone?

Photo is curtesy of Pexels, a royalty free image website.
Photo is curtesy of Pexels, a royalty free image website. | Source

A lot of people cannot see the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone- but the difference is there.

Being “in love” with someone is a lot different than simply “loving“ someone as a person. Being in love means that you care about how a persons doing inside, being in love makes you want to see the other person grow, and being in love also means that you care for a persons well-being and that you want to see them do great things in life while just loving someone means that you simply just love the way they look like on the outside, you love they way they act around you, and you love being around them without actually getting to know who they really are as a person.

How to know the difference between “loving” someone and being “in love” with someone while you are in a relationship:

Types of love
How to tell the difference
Being “In Love”
- You want to always see them happy.
- They compliment your lifestyle.
- They care about your favorite things just as much as you do.
- They make your heart smile.
- You never want to be without them.
- You are willing and ready to make a lifelong commitment to them.
- You are never worried that they will cheat on you because you trust them with all of your heart.
Plain “Love”
- You think they are attractive.
- You care about their well-being but don’t feel the constant need to check on them if they are not responding to your calls or texts.
- You are obsessed with the way they make you feel but you know it’s only temporary.
- You constantly feel the need to make sure that people know that they “belong” to you.
- After a few months of dating, the feeling of excitement goes away.

Do you think that you know the difference between “love” and being “in love”?

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Final Thoughts

The concept of love can be confusing at times, but just follow your heart and trust your gut and in the end, if it’s not meant to be with someone, then you will know. And, If someone is the right person for you, then you will know that too. But whatever your journey is in your quest to find love right now, I wish you nothing but the best and hope that you can someday find someone that makes your heart absolutely flutter with joy.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2019 Delilah Kay


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    • dashingscorpio profile image


      12 months ago from Chicago

      "Being “in love” with someone is a lot different than simply “loving“ someone as a person." - Very true!

      "Being in love" means I want to spend the rest of my life with you!

      Simply loving someone means you {care a lot} about them.

      However when anyone tells another:

      "I love you but I'm not (in love) with you." their honesty is frowned upon or looked as if they're intentionally being misleading.

      When they heard their mate tell them; "I love you." they naturally {assumed} it meant he or she was (in love) with them.

      You can love your sibling but it doesn't mean you're "in love".

      Making assumptions usually leads to heartache at some point. There have been instances of two people going out on dates whereby one person (assumes) they're in an "exclusive relationship" while having never had a discussion about being so! The other (assumes) they both have the right to see other people because they are NOT exclusive! It's a lack of communication.

      As one old adage goes:

      "People see and believe what THEY want to see and believe."

      With regard to love there is no (universal) definition. Each person has their own idea of what being in love is supposed to feel like, look like, and how couples in love should act like. If someone does not (feel) loved it doesn't matter what is in their mate's heart.

      Essentially everyone is looking for someone who expresses love the way (they) want to be loved. Several years ago an author by the name of Gary Chapman wrote: "The Five Love Languages".

      The book helps people to discover their own love language and recognize other people's love language. With this knowledge you have to the ability to seek out someone who naturally loves you the way you define being loved is or you if you're in love someone who needs you to express your love for them differently than you normally would you can now make adjustments to reassure them.

      One of the biggest mistakes to make is assuming we all are looking for the same type of person or to have love expressed the same way. Life is a (personal) journey!


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