ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The Doctor's Script: Domestic Abuse

Updated on June 4, 2012

The Doctor's Script

Martin Luther King: The doctor's script

A mother's reflection on the enormous emotional task of setting a positive example for her children under the extreme duress of their abuser.

ViewsHound Gold Prize Winner
By Kari Herreman - Friday 22 Jul 2011

“Nonviolence means avoiding not only external physical violence but also internal violence of spirit. You not only refuse to shoot a man, but you refuse to hate him."
~Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

I must refuse to hate the man who hurts my children. That seems an impossible task, Dr. King! My children’s tears are one of the many consequences of this man’s many transgressions, both of which have equal, endless stores. My broken heart finds no solace or reprieve from this prescription. It is a surgical procedure without anesthesia! Involved in this gruesome operation is carving out the hate and scraping out its remnants. Raw nerves, gutted core, exposed flesh, and breathtaking pain, be damned!

I must do this for my children, because the man I speak of is their father.

I must demonstrate for them what I must learn for myself. Reacting to hateful aggression with hateful retaliation produces chaos for all involved, especially the children. I have noticed reproductions of the fights my ex husband and I had prior to our split in squabbles between my young son and daughter. I have observed them respond out of tendencies to cover their own emotions by tearing at the other. I had a part in teaching them this destructive skill, and I must now give them a more effective, more edifying tool to repair it. I must refuse to hate.

Dr. King was a man who was hated, slandered, threatened, tormented, jailed, and murdered by an entire society of men and women who could not stand in the shadow of his strength, character, or intelligence. His legacy stands, and theirs is marred into a mob of hateful ignorance. Dr. King made a painstaking choice to allow the chemotherapies of patience, understanding, love, and persistent self- discipline to eradicate the twin cancers of hate and bitterness for his own course of treatment. In the end, he paid with his life. However, the permanent imprint of his sacrifice is marked upon all of humanity. I could never claim to relate to the core wounds of this man’s heart. I have not experienced what he has on the level that he did. I have been abused, discriminated against, lied and slandered about, and left in poverty at the hands of criminal behaviors, and I have had to find my way out. I cannot relate to the gaping hole of racism’s wound from Dr. King’s perspective. But I can encounter it with his passion. I can encounter all hate with his passion. And for my children, I must.

Alternative methods, like medicines, are always available. Malcolm X is another man I greatly admire. I admire his courage, his strength, his leadership capability, and his defiant stance on oppression. I admire his brave quality of incorrigibility from principle and demand for respect from fellow men. Malcolm X demanded the acknowledgment of value from his fellow man through means of violent response to abuse. He inspired many to find their own strength and self-respect. Malcolm X had his dignity intact with his command of presence. However, his lasting legacy has arguably left Chicago the murder capital of the United States for many years running.

Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.
~Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

For my children, I choose to emulate Dr. King, a man so greatly influenced by so many great minds and leaders of servitude for mankind. I respect you, Malcolm X. I admire your tenacity. But for my children, and for my legacy, “I choose love. Hate is too great a burden.”


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Kari Winchester profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari Herreman 

      6 years ago from Ontario, California

      Thank you Laci!

    • Laci Ledbetter profile image

      Laci Ledbetter 

      6 years ago from Fayetteville, Arkansas

      Voted up. Great hub!!


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)