- Gender and Relationships»
The Emptiness in a Marriage
Marry for Better or Worse
Why the Emptiness in a Marriage?
Years move on, and you wonder what went wrong in your relationship, and in the actual marriage itself.
A problem for both partners and who fail to understand about each other.
An example as follows:
A couple married for over twenty years, and for ten years of their marriage, everything felt like a dream.
The ''so-called,'' perfect marriage was going well they enjoyed themselves going out together. Their special days were spent with real meaning and were not forgotten so easily.
Apart from showing appreciation for each other, they had a fair understanding of their needs.
Eleven years later all that just disappeared into thin air.
The birthdays, anniversaries, or other special days go by without a second thought. He feels such days don't matter anymore, and looks at these days as just another day gone by.
While she feels these days still do require a special attention, like in the past but when the two people are hardly on the same page that can complicate any relationship.
The little things make a difference in a marriage. In this marriage it is mostly about the same old routine.
He has taken their marriage for granted, and the more she sees this the more she feels lonely in her first and only marriage.
The years have changed him he is much older and in a different phase of his life.
She is much younger, and is still in her phase of being pampered, or pleased with a kiss or touch that no longer exists between them.
It is a difficult situation because no matter how much she tries to work out the reasons for what is actually going on, he does not see it her way.
His schedule does not concern her and neither does her schedule concern him.
Two people who once before led such a happy life have become withdrawn from each other.
Their interests are gone separate ways.
Communication has failed in many ways.
Do you think being married to a good person is good enough?
Do you want more from your partner than just their goodness?
She has tried on numerous occasions to talk about what has changed in their marriage, he does not take heed to what she has to say.
All he can say is ''I can't give you that life’’ or ''I can't change the way things are.''
Words are cold, and hurtful to her she expected a good life together unfortunately, between them there is nothing left to talk about anymore.
They sit in silence like two strangers in a room, when their alone time should be about their time together, not even that can work anymore.
The silence kills her good moods.
At one time their special times together meant happiness, now it is about two different people with two different minds.
The plans are not the same.
He does not share any good news with her before it has been first shared with others.
Years ago they could not wait to tell each other the great news of the day, in this case all of that has fallen away leaving her to feel empty inside.
What she once knew about him does not show in this life.
The romance has completely died out. They are now living like friends. They sleep more than arms length away from each other on their double-bed.
He does not take the time to be with her and enjoy himself.
He prefers to be with other people, and the too much alone time they have spent from each other has brought on this emptiness between them.
The marriage is part of his previous marriage.
The repetition of the same mistakes from before and in the process ruining a good marriage.
A man who thinks only of himself will find it hard to focus on the needs of others.
He does not spoil her with any gifts. No matter how big, or small that has no way of getting to her side. He does not take her anywhere.
To him it is an expensive deal to go out for a once in a while dinner, to buy her flowers on their anniversary, to go out for a drink, or to go anywhere that requires payment.
If a neighbor invites them to supper he will accept the invitation only because it is free.
The emptiness in this marriage has grown for a while, and the saddest part of this marriage is the husband does not understand her needs.
The wife sees it, and has has analyzed it. She knows there is not much to be happy in her marriage.
Marriages are challenging, and requires patience living in a fairy tale world can destroy the reality of life in a relationship.
It takes two to tango, and both hands to clap. If one hand is trying to clap while the other is not in action, then there is not much to play with in this game.
Marriages are about commitment, and if you have a second marriage, avoid repeating the same mistakes in your second marriage.
Avoid comparing her with your first wife.
She is nothing like his first wife but after a disagreement he sees her that way.
Do you think all women are same in relationships?
In his first marriage he traveled to many places and enjoyed their time together.
After their divorce he started of with a new marriage and with a new person and just repeated all the same habits.
This is what caused the poor communication. It is hard to get through one’s mind when they are stuck in the past life.
''She is doing exactly what my ex-wife has been doing in the past.''
What makes a marriage work?
Communication is key, commitment, respect, love, trust, and faithfulness too has
In this case the married couple have not cheated on each other. They love each other, and even though there is that sign of emptiness their feelings for each other won't fade.
No marriage is perfect, but if only he could see what he has caused in her life.
She is old enough to know right from wrong or good from bad, and has not asked him for anything he can't afford to give her.
All she wants from him is his time.
He has not once taken the time to show her his appreciation, maybe things would slightly improve if he made the time.
Instead, he encourages others to travel and enjoy themselves while he does not make the changes that would give his wife pure satisfaction or a chance to their marriage.
The emptiness in a marriage can happen to anyone and it can be difficult to put together the bits and pieces of the lost puzzle you don't where to start or end.
The hopes and dreams you have fade once you don't have anything to discuss.
You can try to make sense of it all, and won't get to what started all the frustration. Light disagreements often lead to aggressive arguments.
Such situations can destroy you emotionally, and physically.
It can make you feel drained out of your energy.
The energy you have can leave you faster and make you feel most lonely. and less communicative.
It is like when you have no escape from all that is going on.
The good thing about their marriage, it is not a loveless marriage. They do have something to stay together for and won't depart till death do them part. Their lives are different but at the end of the day they do have a little to talk about. The emptiness will still be alive.
A marriage that requires working together from both sides.
The sacrifices made are from one side only. The lack of team work is a problem in this marriage.
What makes a good marriage does not show in this marriage.
Emptiness in Marriages
What Causes the Emptiness in Marriages?
Failure in Marriages
© 2014 Devika Primić