- Gender and Relationships
The Eyes Chico, They Never Lie
A Conversation In Your Eyes
An icy stare. A furtive glance. A deadly gaze. Bedroom eyes. A lingering glare. A mocking look. Think about what all these eye expressions illustrate. Other than our mouths or fingers, our eyes unveil more of us than any other parts of our bodies, without even having to utter a single syllable. The eyes reflect our true feelings towards others. The eyes telegraph our stormiest moods, communicate our warmest feelings and reveal whether we have conflicting pressures burning inside us in which we would rather keep concealed sometimes. Our emotions can't help but slip through our eyes. Even if we preferred not to communicate at any given moment, the eyes brings to light what would otherwise be obscure. The eyes exposes the undisclosed. The eyes broadcast what's really going on in our own little world. Perhaps the only way to silence the endless, incessant noise from transmitting the constant flow of information and emotion to others is to close our eyes. We are not able to repress what our spirits want expressed, if it doesn't manifest through our words and through our actions, it will find an outlet through our eyes. Looking into someone's eyes, as the case may be, you may not determine the crux of the biscuit, but beyond the shadow of a doubt, the eyes will bring forth unvarnished truth. Even the Poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow subscribed to this perception in The Masque of Pandora, where he scribed, "He speaketh not; and yet their lies a conversation in his eyes."
Windows of Our Souls
The eyes provide an essential indication of the conditions of a relationship. It's a barometer of the climate of our connections. The messages we verbalize can disguise what we try to hide, but as Tony Montana would say, "The eyes chico, they never lie."
Our pair of optical organs also determine dominance and submission. For instance, staring someone down is the equivalent of spearing him or her on a skewer. By staring, you display direct threat. In the animal kingdom, staring is a look that large carnivores use to subdue their prey prior to an attack. A stare is a sign of aggression and a sign of who is in charge. Case in point, military drill instructors look down on recruits with a stare more expressive than any words. The drill instructor wants to let the recruit know who is boss.
When our attempts to rubberneck someone are avoided, we can be pretty sure that the other person isn't as interested in us as we are in her. Our pair of oculars display disinterest in another person.
Psychologist Albert Mehrabian once came up with the idea that if a man dislikes the person whom he is talking, he avoids eye contact as much as possibly can. Eye contact almost obliges interaction. Recently, I worked at a retail store at the mall. Whenever a customer wished to be helped, he or she tries to catch eye contact. Once I'm locked in, I assume that the customer wants to open up a channel for communication. When I'm already busy helping out another customer, I avoid eye contact so I won't feel obliged to help the other customer until I finished helping the first customer. You know exactly what I'm talking about because you've experienced it too. Perhaps you were in a classroom and when an instructor asks the class a question you didn't know the answer to, you avoid eye contact. You figure if your eyes are averted, you won't feel obliged to answer.
A person's eyes grow larger in proportion to the degree of fascination in an object. Men's pupils grow about eighteen percent larger when looking at a nude picture of a woman, and women's pupils grew twenty percent when looking at pictures of a naked man. Pupils dilate during sexual intercation or arousal.
The eyes play an important role in our lives. The eyes truly are the windows of our soul.