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A Happy First Year of Marriage- Three Secrets From a Newlywed

Updated on June 19, 2012

My husband and I have been married almost 11 months. It's been a rough year full of uncertainty pertaining to our careers, the death of dear pet, and the usual in-law drama. However, we are more in love then ever. I don't claim to have all the answers, but here are a few simple things that I think have made our relationship happier.

Just Say No

There is always someone who wants something from you.

  • Your professor wants the latest draft of that paper.
  • Your boss wants you to finish that last report.
  • Your mother-in-law wants her lawn mowed.
  • Your best friend needs to vent about their latest relationship problems.

The list goes on. If you're not careful, a week flies by and you realize you haven't spent any time with your partner outside of the few hours of sleep you manage to get. This is no way to live. While I'm not suggesting you shirk your work and familial responsibilities entirely, balance is essential not only for your own sanity, but for the maintenance of a healthy relationship with your significant other. Don't be afraid to say no when you're invited to a party or dinner with the in-laws. There will be other parties!

Doing stuff together whether it be cuddling on the couch watching old movies or going on a crazy hiking adventure will bring you closer together!

Highland Mary Lakes, Weminuche Wilderness
Highland Mary Lakes, Weminuche Wilderness

Just Say Something

You've heard it before, and you're about to hear it again. Communication is key to a healthy marriage. If you feel you're not getting any help around the house, let your partner know. They may not realize you're feeling overwhelmed. A simple "will you the dishes this time" is all that it might take to get the help you need.

No one can read minds. By being open with one another, you can often work out issues before they become full fledged problems. Holding in your feelings will only lead to frustrations for both you and your partner who will have no idea why you've suddenly become a mopey, brooding version of yourself.

Just Say Yes

Being in a relationship is all about compromise, unless you've somehow managed to find and marry an exact version of yourself. She might be pining to watch the next episode of Glee while he is dying to watch some sports game. You have several options.

  • Two televisions= no time spent together
  • Glee= he grumbles the whole time about how unrealistic it is for characters to break out into song randomly
  • Sports= she complains about how boring it is to watch a ball move on the screen for two hours

There is another option that allows you to both be happy and together. It's a lesson my mom taught me when I was eight, and my sisters and I all wanted to play something different. Take turns!!

Give and take is essential for both people to be happy in a marriage. Saying yes when your significant other wants to do something you don't particularly enjoy will make them so happy they will be more willing to try something for you.



Marriage is hard work, but if you're with the love of your life, it's one of life's greatest adventures!!

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    • brenda12lynette profile image
      Author

      brenda12lynette 5 years ago from Utah

      Thanks old albion! And congratulations on 44 years of marriage!

    • old albion profile image

      Graham Lee 5 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      A great hub. We have been married for 44 years, compromise is the answer. I find that if I listen to what is being said to me and then I compromise, everything is tip top. Good Luck. - LOL.

      Graham.

    • brenda12lynette profile image
      Author

      brenda12lynette 6 years ago from Utah

      Thanks for the additional advice ChitrangadaSharan! I agree completely.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image

      Chitrangada Sharan 6 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Good hub! I would like to add, marriage is all about trust and understanding, being able to sacrifice your own interests for your spouse if need be and have an adjusting mentality. All this will take you to a happily married life and durable relationship.

    • brenda12lynette profile image
      Author

      brenda12lynette 6 years ago from Utah

      Agreed! Thanks again for stopping by Dan!

    • Outbound Dan profile image

      Dan Human 6 years ago from Niagara Falls, NY

      Great advice here for any marry couple. We did away with the two tv system and now my work space is near the living room. It's hard work, but surely worth it.

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 6 years ago from San Francisco

      sounds like you have the right attitude. enjoy the ride. good karma

    • brenda12lynette profile image
      Author

      brenda12lynette 6 years ago from Utah

      Thanks Ionizer2012!

    • Ionizer2012 profile image

      Ionizer2012 6 years ago from Kirkland, WA

      Great hub, a few years too late for me though.

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