- Gender and Relationships»
- Advice & Tips for Men in Relationships
The Games You Play
The Games You Play
In relationships there are way too many guys that think its ok for them to play mind games with their girl. For whatever reason they think that these games put them at an advantage or help them gain some type of control over their girl. What they do not realize is that they are destroying the woman in their life and that with time, it will lead to the end of what otherwise may have been a good relationship.
Yes, a lot of women have trust issues and yes, it can be exhausting to try and deal with a girl that has trust issues. The truth of the matter is that those issues come from past experiences and chances are that if she is taking them out on you, you are probably exhibiting some of the same traits or characteristics as the person that caused her to be weary of trusting someone, or maybe your actions have been the same as or very similar to something that happened that hurt her in the past.
Want her to get past those trust issues with you? It’s actually easy. Be open, be honest and humor her when she asks you questions that seem invasive. She is trying to get the information she needs to feel comfortable. If you trust her, answer her questions and trust her not to freak out or over react to your answers. Being open and honest is the easiest way to break down her issues and help her get past them. But remember, half-truths and omitted information is lying too. Be where you said you were, with who you said your were and doing what you said you were doing and you will not have problems.
Women with trust issues will snoop for information. Even if you have done nothing wrong, they will still look just to make sure there is nothing to worry about. If you have been caught doing something wrong and she forgave you, expect her to do this often until she no longer finds anything that alarms her.
This is especially true about cell phones. If you are in a relationship and your girlfriend sees that you have dating apps, text messages from other women that are inappropriate and flirty, text messaging apps that allow you to text without giving out your actual phone number, or emails responding to inappropriate ads, she is going to look through your phone more often. Playing a game and purposely having things on your phone that will lead her to believe you are doing something wrong will do nothing but send her over the edge.
Guys, it is one thing to have a female friend that you hold normal conversations with about life. It is something completely different when you have flirty conversations with another woman. If she is telling you how sexy you are or have always been to her, if you are agreeing to meet that same woman who thinks you are sexy out for drinks or go partying with them and get a hotel room, you have crossed the line completely. Whether you intend to follow through with what you have said to the other woman or not is irrelevant. You are doing permanent damage to the woman you are with when she finds out about those conversations, and trust me, she will eventually find out about them one way or another.
The Effects of Your Actions
These games you play cause even bigger issues than you think because women don’t just look at the surface of something that happened, they look at the deeper meanings and causes and tend to try to find the fault in themselves that caused it.
She finds out that you didn’t tell her the truth about where you were going last night or who you were with. Her reaction is going to be bad, but she is going to get suspicious of the people you were with or that place. She will probably think that there may be another woman there that you are interested in and she will be hurt. Trust goes down even if she doesn’t confront you about it and she starts to questions what else you have lied to her about.
She finds flirty text messages in your phone between you and another woman. You will cause her to lose self-esteem, she will feel that in some way she is no longer attractive to you. She will also question whether there are other things wrong with her that you would rather spend your time talking to another woman instead of talking to her in that way. She may even get so down on herself that it may affect your sex life. She will become self-conscious in bed and shy and not perform nearly as well for you as she once did. All of this will be your own fault and you will have no one to blame but yourself for these consequences.
She finds an email where you responded to a personal ad on the internet. She will automatically assume you are planning to leave her. She will start to let go emotionally and physically. She will no longer waste her energy trying to argue with you about anything or bother doing anything nice for you because it is no longer worth the effort to her. You already have one foot out the door in her mind.
All of these effect for what, a game you thought would teach her a lesson or give you some type of advantage? This is not the way to treat someone that you wanted around in the first place. If you truly care for her, don’t do any of these things to her. You don’t need to play games if you know how to communicate properly. If she is doing something you don’t like, try talking to her about it like an adult. Communication and finding a common ground are two very important parts of a successful and happy relationship. Both of these lead to trust which is the most important part of a relationship. If you want her to trust you, stop with the games and work on helping her learn to trust you!