- Gender and Relationships
The Girl I Met On Craigslist
Smoke Then Fire
You know, when something is too good to be true, it usually is-- a little while back I met this HOT, I mean really HOT Latin chick on Craigslist. We met, hit it off quickly and started seeing each other on the regular. She would come by the house after work around 8, and we'd get our groove on until about 2 or 3am and then she would say "I gotta bounce, my mom doesn't like it when I stay out all night." Now keep in mind, I was 40 at the time and she had to be mid thirties at best. Now don't get the wrong picture, this chick was HOT from head to toe-- 5'10", 125lbs., tight body, long beautiful black hair, fantastic measurements, golden complexion, pretty face and not a blemish on her entire body-- not to mention the sack time was always off the hook. Sound like heaven? Read on...
Now this went on for about 3 months before things started to change. First, she kept insisting that I meet her mother, which was cool but then she wanted me to meet her sister, then her father and finally the rest of the family. Next she went from "I'm not seeing anybody but you" to "I'm getting a divorce and just left my husband." Now I'm no fool and quickly realized that this woman had a private agenda and it was time for me to formulate an exit strategy. Of course I figured there was still time to play so decided to ride it out just a little longer-- Mistake, Really Big Mistake.
One night she comes over, we get into the usual, take a break to grab a bite and the doorbell starts ringing-- It's close to 11pm and all of my friends know better to call before coming over unless it's a dire emergency. I'm on the second floor and when I look out the window there's some dude standing on the doorstep laying on the bell. I tell her to come to the window and take a look because I got a really bad feeling she knows exactly who it is. "It's my husband! What the f**k is he doing here?" My question exactly... In fact, my next question is how does he know what bell to ring since there were three to choose from and none of the other bells were ringing? She doesn't seem all that disturbed by the chain of events either. Hmmnn.... the plot thickens...
Finally he moves off and she tries to convince me that he must have followed her to my house (and that she had nothing to do with it) and wanted to confront me about spending time with his wife. The rest of the night is uneventful aside from the fact that for the first time she actually spends the night with me. Definitely the calm before the storm.
About 7am the next morning, I hear a key in the lock. Since I live alone this is quite unnerving-- before I can jump up, or should I say as I jump up, the door slams open and there are 2 police officers standing in my bedroom asking the age old stupid question, "What's going on here?" Naturally I say "What does it look like", since we are both now standing practically naked in the room. "We got a complaint that you are holding this woman against her will, her husband is downstairs, you wait out here while we question her outside." I'm sure you can see where this is going-- Yeah, lets take the woman who is obviously cheating on her husband outside and question her in front of him and see what she says... New York's Finest at work.
Naturally she sides with him and his allegations which the police believe hook line and sinker despite the fact she can't explain how she got to my house in the first place. Less than 5 minutes later I'm in the back of a patrol car with the entire neighborhood outside, at least 10 other marked and unmarked patrol cars and the hostage negotiation team. I spend the night in central booking and in the morning get released like nothing happened-- no court, no arraignment, no desk appearance ticket, no nothing. They tell me at the door "You're free to go, just pretend it never happened." Fat chance, my landlord broke the lease and I was kicked out of my apartment in short notice and forced to rent a room the size of a jail cell for the next 8 months.
Whether it was a set up or not I'll never know, but one thing is for sure, if you ever meet a woman on Craigslist that's hot as fire, make sure she's not sporting a panther tattoo on her chest-- you might not be as lucky as I was...