The Girl in the Window
Questions, so many questions.
The sun breaks through the window as she opens her eyes to brace another day. She slowly rolls over and sits on the edge of the bed. The beauty of the sunrise always amazes her, and the faint pink and orange colors in the sunrise that glisten over the river giving her hope that today will be a good day. Her face does not show the tears that helped her fall asleep last night, and so many other nights.
She brushes her teeth, and washes her face, then looks in the mirror to no longer see the young girl that she was a few months ago. The person in the mirror is now a woman with so much ahead of her, that her eyes begin to tear.
She reaches into the closet to find something to wear to work, her body has changed so drastically that none of her clothes really fit, and so she sits down on her bed and begins to cry again.
How did this happen? There are so many unanswered questions that cross her mind, they overwhelm her most days. Did she make a mistake, was this all her fault, is God punishing her or blessing her?
She was so in-love, for the first time, she believed that she met the one person who truly loved her back, but today she is alone. All her dreams are somewhere back in time, and she had many. She wanted to travel and see the world, she wanted to finish college and have a great career, she wanted to get married and plan to have children. But today she is just in a vacuum and her heart breaks for both herself and for the child she carries inside.
When she told him that she was pregnant, that man, the one who said he would love her to the end, her soul mate, walked away with no explanation. It was not for all the normal reasons, but simply because he does not want to be responsible, he does not want to be a dad.
How can this man, at the age of thirty, not want to call and ask how she feels? How can he not want to see the pictures of the sonograms? How can he not want this baby, his own flesh and blood? These are the unanswered questions that haunt her daily, and they are again, today, foremost on her mind.
She wonders why she could not go through with an abortion, was this also a mistake, or is this something that was meant to be, would God have punished her and could she have lived with herself then?
As she dresses, and twists her hair into a bun, her full belly reflects in the window, and she feels the baby move. Her thoughts go forward to her son, he will be here in a few weeks. Will she be able to love him without seeing his father in his face, what will she tell him when he asks about his father? Unlike the young girls she was, the woman in her now feels protective, loving, yet fearful of the responsibilities that are soon to be hers, and hers alone. Today is a beautiful day, and for now she smiles as she leaves for work.
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