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I Broke the Heart of a Hawaiian Nudist Volleyball Cowboy

Updated on July 24, 2013

If you haven't had a chance to watch "Catfish: The Movie" or MTV's "Catfish: The TV Show" and you talk to people online that you haven't meant in person, then do yourself a favor and watch a few episodes.

Online relationships are becoming increasingly common, but you need to keep a few things in mind. Not all people are who they say they are and not all photos are how they look today. In fact, some photos aren't them at all.

Spend time getting to know someone online. Talk on the telephone before you meet physically. Sometimes, just talking to someone on the phone will help you decide whether or not you want to meet them at all. I've had a couple of guys that i didn't follow that rule and realized upon meeting them that I could have saved myself some time by talking to them on the phone first. If someone is reluctant to meet in person, there is usually a reason. Finding out that reason is important.

When I first published this hub it was titled "I Broke the Heart of a Hawaiian Nudist Volleyball Cowboy from Oklahoma". I have since shortened it.

I know, I know, you're probably wondering how someone can be a Hawaiian nudist and be from Oklahoma. Heck, you may even be wondering how someone can be a genuine cowboy and play nude volleyball. And, even if I did find one, why on earth did I break his heart? Well, let me tell you.

I Broke The Heart of a Hawaiian Nudist Volleyball Cowboy
I Broke The Heart of a Hawaiian Nudist Volleyball Cowboy

Our Online Discussions Began

It started on a Friday evening, and as a divorced woman at the time, I was checking out the pictures and profiles of some eligible men on a well known online dating site. As a non-paying member, you could set up a profile but were only allowed to send a wink to people you were interested in. You could only further the contact if they were a paid member and likewise interested and responded to your wink.

There he was. I've never really considered cowboys my type, but this tall drink of a cowboy had caught my attention. He claimed to be 6'7". I happen to like them tall, and by the looks of the nearby doorway in the picture, he wasn't kidding. He was handsome and only a few years younger than me. I thought, what the heck, go ahead and wink at him.

Maybe two hours later he winked back. It was exciting and all, but, now what? I was asking myself, ‘"do I pay the membership fee so that I can continue talking to him?" Mustering great confidence, I paid my membership and emailed him. He responded with his name and phone number. Now, I really was excited.

We spent the rest of the evening on my free nights and weekends cellphone plan talking about everything imaginable. He told me his name was James and he was a ranch owner and former PRCA rodeo champion. And, not just any ranch owner, but that he owned about fifty ranches all across the United States. He even directed me to his website that listed all his ranches and an application for ranch hands to apply via the Internet. Seemed legit.

He told me that he lived in Oklahoma. He also spent a lot of time traveling. He said he visited these ranches and that he always spends a couple of weeks each summer in Hawaii at a nudist hotel resort. The resort sponsored an annual nude volleyball game. He and a few friends have been the winners of this event for the past few years and he was due to go to Hawaii in the next few days. He invited me to come along, all expenses paid.

Wow! Things were moving way too fast for me! Nude? Volleyball? Cowboy? Ranches? All expenses paid?

I opted to pass on this one. I didn't know him well enough for any of that nonsense. This gal wasn't about to get nude on a beach in Hawaii either. I wished him well and told him we could chat when he got back. He told me we'd keep in touch, and we did.

The Broken Heart Will Mend, I'm Sure
The Broken Heart Will Mend, I'm Sure

We would spend hours at a time talking on the phone. Again, thank goodness for free nights and weekends! He was a lot of fun to talk to. He told me stories about all the things that happened on his ranches, about people who he had met, some of them stars, etc. He told me about his 20-something year old son he and his ex-wife had had when they were still in high school. I even exchanged emails with the son at one point.

Then it happened. He told me he had something to tell me and I wasn't sure I was ready for it. He told me that he had fallen in love with me but that he wasn't who I thought he was. Now I knew I wasn't ready for either of those statements. I didn't want him to be in love with me just yet. We hadn't even met in person! And, what did he mean he wasn't who I thought he was?!

He revealed to me that he was not the 37-year-old 6'7" cowboy in the pictures he sent me. He was not the former PRCA rodeo cowboy, now ranch-owner. He was not divorced. In fact, he had never been married. He did not have a son. He had never been to Hawaii or played nude volleyball. In fact, all of the things we had talked about for all of those many hours were lies.

Everything, except that he was from Oklahoma and his name was James.

I now learned he was 22, about to turn 23 in a couple of days. Wow! I began to replay all the things he had said and man, he sure did his homework when it came to weaving stories.

I broke his heart. I had to.


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    • KCC Big Country profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Central Texas

      LOL....sorry to mislead you DP....the photo above is NOT the photo he had in his profile. The profile photos were reasonable and actual photos of some unsuspecting man. It also seems legitimate because he had multiple photos that were just normal daily family-type photos. Oh well.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Shoot i new something was up when i took a look at the picture!The guy in the picture would not have to be on a online dateing service! that man needs noooo help.good story though!

    • KCC Big Country profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Central Texas

      You think that's the southern gal in us? Thanks for stopping by Habee!

    • habee profile image

      Holle Abee 

      9 years ago from Georgia

      Yep, James would make a great writer. I do have a "thang" for cowboys, however. enjoyed the read!

    • KCC Big Country profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Central Texas

      I'm not sure what you meant about "you should have got a real pic, just for the record". I had lots of photos of him....just none of them were really him. I did actually meet him on his birthday. It was a curiousity thing. I had to see the voice with the person, sort of a closure for both of us. We talked only a couple of times after that.

    • earner profile image

      Dedicated Content Curator 

      9 years ago from United Kingdom

      awww, sad really. He was probably nicer than anybody who matched the original description, just shy.

      23 though ... you should have got a real pic, just for the record. It's nice to know "you could have", even if you walk away :)

    • spryte profile image


      10 years ago from Arizona, USA

      I met a guy online who was a compulsive liar too.  He was a Lieutenant in the marines...and a pilot.  *nods*  Eventually, with the help of a few of my military connections I unearthed his true identity.  He was a pissant motor pool gopher.  Of course, I had the last laugh when I sent his superiors some of his more colorful stories...

      Never mess with an ex-military brat.  :)

      Oddly enough...his name was James too. You don't think....?

    • KCC Big Country profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from Central Texas

      Thanks guys and gals!  I bet ole James is still weaving tales (in fact, he'd make a good Hubber!) and inviting gals to Hawaii.  What I wonder is, who WAS the unsuspecting cowboy in all those pictures he sent me?!  He claims he found them on the web somewhere but he didn't recall where. 

    • gwendymom profile image


      10 years ago from Oklahoma

      I wonder the very same thing spryte. That title lured me in too. Great Hub!

    • spryte profile image


      10 years ago from Arizona, USA

      LOL!!!! :)

      Great title...pulled me right in. Equally great story :) I wonder what would have happened if you had said yes to the trip to Hawaii?

    • Benson Yeung profile image

      Benson Yeung 

      10 years ago from Hong Kong

      great read. thanks.


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