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The Ideal Husband Characteristics

Updated on August 3, 2014

The ideal husband understands every word his wife doesn’t say. (Alfred Hitchcock quotes)

That is a great quote. That is right. Love has a great power. The power of love is over everything. I remember what a psychology said that a great mother could distinguish her kids’ cries whether they cry for hunger, for some pain, or cry for hoping something. Those are different. I myself cannot distinguish it. I think a cry is just a cry. However, that is love, the inner power of love.

A husband is a great lover of his lovely wife. “Even I want to pick the stars in the sky for you,” thus a poet says represents the heartbeat of a great lover. “I am nothing without you.” As though, everything is his wife. That is impossible in reality, though the power of love often makes someone able to do an impossible thing.

Every woman hopes to have a great husband, the ideal husband. Each woman has their own perception defining what the ideal husband is. All women, I think, want the perfect husband, but they cannot marry the angels. It is not a simple case to define precisely, but there are some common perspectives that can be accepted by most of women.

Several characters of the ideal husband that most women want is that a husband should be a great lover, be faithful, be honest, be a good listener, a successful man, respect her, understand her, take care of her, support her, be good looking, etc. Some women consider a good looking is number one, while the other doesn’t. That order is not my concern.

Some married couples make some rules such as kissing before leaving and coming home, saying “Good morning, Honey” before breakfast, kissing must be more than three times a day, etc. They think there is no sudden angel comes to this planet, so they want to create it by the rules. While other couples consider those rules are ridiculous. The second group thinks that love doesn’t need to be forced by rule; a great love will act naturally, passionately, with its own power. A kiss based on the rule and the natural one is different. The second group claims that the natural one is the ideal husband.

My friend suggested that it is better to have a husband on the same level. She did not like a rich man or a successful man. The reason was because she was not a rich woman at that time. A rich one and a poor one had different perspective about life. She wanted an ordinary man. She told me that she understood how meaningful the process is. She was crawling at the stair of life together with her lovely husband. Through that process, she knew that her husband was a great man. “He respects me and I respect him,” she said. “Because we have known the meaning of togetherness. We learned together what the life is, we were struggling together.”

“Every food cooked by her is delicious.”

Your man never complains about the food you serve for him. Do you believe him? He always says, “The food is delicious.” Lying is a big mistake. I think all human will think so. However, many women like to hear their man saying, “I miss you so much,” though the fact he doesn’t; “I like listening to your story,” though the fact he is so sleepy; etc.

Some women consider such men as the ideal one. He lies in the right context. Some women like it, they do love it. Every woman knows how painful it is when her husband says, “I don’t like the food. You can’t be a good chef for me. My mum is better than you.” Moreover, he does it in front of his family.

If may I conclude, the ideal husband understands his wife so much. He knows when he should be superior, when he should be so wise, when he should be childish, etc.

He called you on the phone when he was busy in the work place

The ideal husband always has time for his wife. He does not only spend his rest time after work, but he makes a chance to spend time with her. The prophet, Muhammad (PBUH), has ever asked his wife Aishah (ra) to race when she was tiny. Aishah (ra) won. Later, he asked her again when she got fatter. Aishah (ra) refused, but he insisted. Muhammad (PBUH) won. He preached, "The best among them are those who are kindest to their wives." (Bukhari and Muslim).

He gave us a great example how to refresh relation. Aishah (ra) has ever said that Muhammad (PBUH) always had time for her, to listen to her story, though he was so busy. Every woman will be pleased when her husband calls her or just texts her while he is busy in the work place. Saying, “I remember you,” at the busy moment is not trivial for a wife. It is a sign that he always remembers his wife.

For a Muslim woman the ideal husband is he a great believer, because only a great believer will follow what Allah and His Messenger ordered. Here some collections of what Muhammad (PBUH) has been preached to us:

  • Aisha (ra) was asked by Al-Aswad b. Yazid what the Prophet used to do in the house. She replied: "He used to work for his family; that is serving his family, and when prayer time came, he went out for prayer." (Bukhari)
  • "Men shall take full care of women with the bounties which Allah has bestowed more abundantly on the former than on the latter, and with what they may spend out of their possessions....". (Qur’an 4:34)
  • It is recorded in a Hadith from Abu Hurairah (raa) in the collection of Muslim: "Allah’s Messenger never found fault with food. If he liked something, he ate it, and if he disliked it, he just abstained from it." (Muslim)
  • ".......There is no amusement which is praiseworthy except three, namely training a horse, sporting with one’s wife and shooting arrows with a bow." (Abu Da’ud, Ibn Majah and Baihaqi)

That's all less than perfect explanation about the ideal husband. it is just a piece of knowledge which I hope to be useful for the reader and can give you additional knowledge what the ideal husband is.






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    • Sunardi profile imageAUTHOR


      4 years ago from Indonesia

      Thanks, Grand. I tried to reach the perspectives of all human community: Hindu, Muslim, Atheist, Christian, etc. But, this the only what I can do. I need to learn more and share what I think would be useful for the readers.

    • grand old lady profile image

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 

      4 years ago from Philippines

      I love this article, and I particularly love that you used Muslim references to illustrate your points. It is rare that I get to read something like this. Great hub.

    • Sunardi profile imageAUTHOR


      4 years ago from Indonesia

      Thanks, sheilamyers. You're right. good looking and success have various definition. Many people define them based on public perspective. If people around him or her think someone is successful and handsome, and so do they.

      Several days ago my friend told me that he tends to love someone who is beautiful based on public perspective. While, the fact, he want to live with her personally. He had a girlfriend last year, but he broke up the relation.

      He told me that the beauty was not true. He was just affected by his friends and people around, and had no a true love. I hope this article can give additional awareness about how to be a good lover and a great husband.

    • profile image


      4 years ago

      There are some very good lessons here. Most of the characteristics you listed are what I would say make the perfect husband. However, there are two I see that would have various definitions and depend on the the woman you ask. What is good looking? The man may be very handsome in my eyes, yet only be average or slightly below average to other women. What is success? I don't think a man has to be rich or be known by everyone in order to be successful. The guy who cleans the offices in some big company and takes out the trash would, in my eyes, be successful as long he supports and loves his family.


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