- Gender and Relationships»
The Lack of Romance
Husbands bring home flowers for their wives while wives buy ties and suits for their husbands. This is how most relationships are in a married home. There is little romance, and if it exists, it is behind closed doors or brief on holiday's. From the eyes of a child, this is fine. However, growing up, the child wonders, what kept their family together. It didn't seem like passion or romance. But why do adults hide most of their passions from children?
The Result of a Passion-Free Home
Children who grow up with parents who keep their emotions hidden or in-check gain a few roadblocks as a result. Their parents did patch them up when they were hurt or bleeding. They were around for graduation and their wedding. However, something seemed to be missing. They never saw their parents lose themselves in their emotions. In fact, they rarely saw their parents without the same three or four emotions they always had. Some people consider this a gift. "Their parents always knew what to do." Except in showing emotions. They were reserved and in control.
Children need to see their parents enjoy themselves. They learn after their parents. How to talk, how to walk, how to cook, how to clean, and how to share emotion. If they do not see their parents showing passion, one of two things will happen. One, they could learn from their parents and not show emotions in a relationship. Two, they could learn from their parents and become one of the most passionate individuals you have ever seen. The issue? Most people don't turn from their parents. Most of the time, they don't even know that anything is wrong. Then they run to a therapist or to their friends crying about another relationship that turned out poorly from communication issues.
How to Show Passion in Your Home
Showing passion is not easy. For some of us, it makes us feel uncomfortable. For others, they love showing their special other that they adore them. We take advantage of the holidays saying, "we will treat them right at that time. It's what that time is for anyway." No, that time is for relaxation. But showing passion is not relaxing, it is soothing beyond anything you can imagine.
- Give your special other breakfast in bed and get the children to help to. Once a month, surprise the entire family by making them breakfast. Children normally wake up earlier than adults on saturday's. So ask them to help bring mom or dad breakfast in bed.
- Sit next to your special other. And I don't mean just sit. Lay down with your head on his lap, put your arm around her, show that you two have a good connection. This might seem elementary, but most couples forget this simple act. They sit across the room, stay in different rooms, and it gives a bad example to the children. They believe a relationship can go on without even noticing there is another adult in the house!
- Don't just go on dates. You two have dated plenty before you were even married. And a good married couple should go on at least one date a month for a healthy relationship. But another thing you can do is have romantic evenings at home. Believe it or not, the house is not just a place for the kids. It is for you two as well. Try cooking a special dinner, let the kids eat upstairs and play board games while you and your special partner have a romantic candle light dinner, possibly flowers, a few gifts, and watch an emotional movie that is definately not for children. This way they see the effort you put into the relationship and that it is special.
- Don't hide your entire relationship from the young ones. Kiss in front of them, hug constantly, show them you two still have passion in your lives.