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"The Loss of a Friend" By Rolly A. Chabot

Updated on November 18, 2012
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Those Left

Occasionally in life we are blessed with the beauty of true friendship. It is a friendship that never questions it just gives. Never asks why it just does. It is something we never understand and yet we accept. It just is.

I am no guru on life. Not a man who knows anything over and above the next. Just a man who knows when he has been blessed with friendship. I have suffered through two losses this year. Both were men that had a huge impact on me. Both were as far apart as men could be and yet they both had a common thread that smacked in the face of any they had met.

Welcome once again to the lagging Fireside. I could give the lack of writing to all sorts of excuses but I will use this one. I have been grieving. It is something we will all go through. It is something we will all leave when we pass. It is something we can not avoid. It is called death and something none of us like to write about.

Come along with me on this journey of memories and above all else know that you are dearly loved. I say that with the certainty that death is something that may take me at anytime. That is what we call life, if nothing else is taken from this take that you have blessed me with your words of encouragement, your caring and gracious attitudes to my rants and raves... again know that you are loved.

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In the Wind

Have you ever wondered what would be said over you at your funeral, your celebration of live, the gathering of people whom you have touched. Hopefully that gathering would be of people you loved or those whom loved you. I once read a book that spoke of such a gathering that impacted me greatly. The writer asked you the reader to pretend that you had passed away. You were perched high above listening to what was spoken about you. Sobering when you think of it.

What would be spoken of you. This place that we call life. The place where we are given but one chance to leave a lasting impression on those we touch. What would be spoken. Would it be the truth about our lives. Would people actually talk about the pain and the suffering you bestowed upon them or would the truth be spoken about you and the trail of destruction that you left in the one life or the many. What would be said about you.

Just a few thoughts too ponder and thoughts which may change us when we think before we say. Take the time to choose the words you speak carefully. One word spoken in haste can change another persons life. Sometimes the damaging words can take hold and become deep seated and cause great pain.

Our words are like the wind. Do they simply fall out and stop where they land. No they carry on forever. They can be words of love, words of encouragement words that lift the spirits of others. These are the words I like to think I leave behind. A while back I witnessed a man at a cashier till ordering his morning coffee. Well dressed and like many in a hurry. He ordered at the same time as he was talking on the phone. His voice carried throughout the line of people. He dazzled people with financial numbers most had never heard before. Buy this and sell that. I like many others were impressed.

That was until he received his coffee and it had been made wrong. What followed was a volley of abuse to the young girl at the counter who had taken his order. The volley was gruelling and it was easy to tell she was upset and close to tears. His order was made again all the while he continued to talk on the phone. He stopped long enough to reprimand the young cashier again. It was then the manager and a young assistant stepped out from behind the counter and escorted the suit out the door rather briskly. All this took place under a resounding round of applause. I ask you again can we change lives of people around us?

Each person in the line that day spoke words of encouragement to that young lady. Many of us apologized for the mans action. Within weeks that same young lady knew all of our orders by heart. Again I ask can we change the lives of people aroud us? I know one young lady that will tell you yes and is able to define the difference between kind words or words that hurt. It was the love and genuine caring that changed her that day. Not the words of some raving lunatic that was in need of finding another victim of his ruthless demands.

Now allow me to share with you a little about two such men, friends who taught so well the meaning of blessing others and yet in different ways.




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David Price

David was a man who made an impact on me. He was a writer here on hub pages, You may have known David for his writing of faith and his family who he dearly loved. A man who spoke freely of his faith no matter where he would find himself.

I first ran across David here on Hub Pages and began to follow his writings. Before long we were exchanging emails and soon after phone calls. David became a part of my life and shared many of his struggles with me. Even though the friendship only lasted a few years I think of David often. David passed away suddenly this past summer and I was truly blessed with getting to know this man and his family.

David had many gifts, his greatest to me was his gift of encouragement. "Rolly when you write, write from the heart. The heart is what will touch the reader." I can still hear his soft voice encouraging. David was a man who could speak about love openly and freely with anyone. Once David had told you he loved you, well you just knew that you were loved.

I miss my friend, yet I know David is with his main love and that was his Father above. It was where his heart was set. God, Family and work was the proper order for David and he lived it accordingly. Thank you David for speaking into my life. You are dearly missed...

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Dennis Norman

Dennis and I had a special friendship that lasted over the span of some 25 years or more. Dennis was a tall man who walked with confidence knowing who he was. He was a man who had an appreciation for nature, family and an all around solid lifestyle that gave him peace at the end of each day.

His good nature was one that was easily abused because he gave of himself at all times. Yet Dennis had a crusty side from all the abuse he took over the years from business partners and those who took advantage of him. Yet he could forgive and move on. Dennis through all of this was a man of his word and often took on paying off the debts that would be left in the wake.

We connected immediately through the love of motorcycles and riding on the open road. He became known as my "Dirty Filthy Biker Buddy." A Sunday ride for us could mean as much as 800 miles. Each year we would ride what became known as "The Annual Numb Bum." It was a must every year, 2000 miles of travelling through the cold to the warmer climates of the south. Then back to the cold again. Complain as I may, the grin on his face was enough to plod on for both of us. How often would I see his all red face from windburn and yet when he took off his sunglasses the characteristic racoon eyes, his would as white as can be.

Sadly Dennis passed away a few weeks ago. A freak accident while he was clearing snow with his tractor. So unlike Dennis as he was always so careful. The tractor slipped off the road and rolled over pinning him. It happened at 1:30 in the afternoon and Carol his wife called me at 4 that afternoon.

As I stood before the congregation of people I spoke of the fact it was just like Dennis to bring the 200 or more people together to celebrate the life of a man who touched all present. My words were Dennis is not dead, he is alive and living within us all. His life was infused with love into each of us. He lives on today. Do I miss my friend, of course bu I hold so many memories of him and our riding over the unending miles. The struggles and the joys we shared supersede his passing in many ways.

Dennis had a bike which was bigger than mine. No matter how hard I tried I could never go faster than him. Well that was until I had the engine worked over unknown to him. I pulled up beside him the first day out. He smiled and took off ahead. The look on his face was priceless as I pulled up beside him again and opened the throttle and left him in the dust. Later when we stopped he asked what my secret was? My response was back at the Esso station I put a tiger in my tank. He only laughed and he said must have been a herd of them. Man that thing goes.

Take a moment this day and ponder what you have left in the hearts of others. Some we struggle to forgive for their greed and wrongful doings against us. We can forgive and move along and choose to not spend anymore time near them. Some people we have hurt may never forgive us for our past indiscretions. But it is how we live today which can change us as people.

The two novel series I am writing right now have been dedicated to these two men and the seeds they planted in me. Thank you gentleman for all you have given. Thank you all who have joined me at the Fireside... know that you are dearly loved and may your day end with knowing so...



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What Can Be Said

From death comes new life. Look at this picture and think of this for a moment. Nature is much like our lives. What dies and falls to the ground will nourish the next generation or in my case the relationships I formed with these men. What they have taught is deep seated and lives on today.

Have I made mistakes in life? Of course! Have I learned from them? Certainly. Will I live a better life and maybe enrich another through what I have learned? Without a doubt. Can I do better? I know I can if I choose to do so.

You see at the end of the day I think it important to sit and reflect on all that has taken place. What you have done and what you have said. The question I have is there something you can do to change. Yesterday has passed, tomorrow is still to come. Today is the day that counts. Can you make a difference, of course all you need to do is step from your comfort zone and reach out to another.

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    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Audra... thanks for the comment and the kind words. Life is so full of twists and turns and we just never know do we what will happen. It has been good to have know these people...

      Hugs from Canada

    • profile image

      AudraLeigh 4 years ago

      Yes, we should take a step from our cz and g out there and live in the moment! and I am trying to do that as often as I ca :) I am so sorry for the friends you lost; one rom HP and one of 25 years :( You are a good man with a wonderful heart! Thank you for wonderful words and the beautiful flowers in the picture :)

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Morning Alecia... Big wave from this side of the mountains were we have plenty of the white stuff and a winter wonderland. Of course scary roads and everyone seems to be driving on them... hope you are fairing better over your way... Thanks for the comment and glad you were able to pull something from this...

      Many Hugs from Alberta

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Good Morning CrisSp... what a wonderful comment you have left here... it has blessed me deeply this morning and I thank you so much.

      Many have come and gone from my life over the years and many have contributed and I do hope I have put something back into their lives as well.

      Nature, friendship and love are so well connected, each can grow, flourish and blossom if allowed. Thank you for the kind words...

      Love from Canada...

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      I am very sorry for the loss of your friends, Rolly. Your hub is inspirational and contains a lot of good advice. Thank you for creating it.

    • CrisSp profile image

      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      I am so sorry for the loss and thank you for sharing this wonderful hub with us.

      I am personally touched by the way you have written the beauty of living, loving, departing and keeping friendship. It is sad but there are lessons to be learned.

      This is one of the many wonderful hubs I've read from one I consider a great writer, whose writing comes straight from the heart. I'm glad I'm following you. I am sharing your story.

      Love from the sky~

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Pamela... sorry for your loss. We just never know when or who it may be next. May even be us. At least there is hope.

      What we leave and what others leave is very important... Thank you the comment...

      Many Hugs from Canada

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 4 years ago from United States

      Rolly, This is a very thoughtful, inspirational hub. I too lost a close friend and attended her funeral yesterday, plus I had just lost another friend last month. This first friend was born the same year as I, and I thought "Why her Lord and not me?" Her time is finished and I ponder what purposes God has for me in my remaining years. I think we sure can help people and change lives. I loved your first account of the man being escorted out. I try to treat people the same way I want to be treated, and I have much to be thankful for in my life. Thank you for writing such a thought provoking hub and just being you. Hugs from FL all the way to Canada. God bless.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Gypsy... you are so right... there will be a day we will all meet again. To plant seeds of love into another is to form a relationship built on love and respect. It is such that we carry with us...

      Hugs and know that you are dearly loved...

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Voted up and awesome. There is nothing that hurts so much than the lose of a close friend or family member. But you are right life goes on.Besides they remain with us until we meet again and of course always in ours hearts. Hugs to you and passing this on.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi RC... bringing joy to another is so very important, just being there for those left behind is another.

      You are great at bring joy as I have read many of your hubs and they are indeed works of the man behind the words... well done RC...

      Hugs from Canada

    • rcrumple profile image

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Rolly, Such inspirational words, as well as fitting tributes to those that meant much to you. Life throws us a lot of curve balls before the final out takes place. Sometimes, the players don't make it as long as we do, which is always a great loss. I would hope for a small gathering of friends that could all recite the same thing, "He always tried to make us smile to ease out troubles." If I can achieve that, I have reached my goal, regardless of what my wife says! lol Really a great hub, my friend.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Always... Great to see you again and like you I have been the route of not stepping back and saying I am sorry even if I was not. Sometimes it is better to just bite the bullet and value the friendship more than to take it to the grave. Some we can never recover. Take peace in your heart knowing that it will never happen... such a good reminder my friend... .

      Many Hugs from Canada

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Lifegate... you are more than welcome...

      Blessings and Hugs

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Rolly, Your words of inspiration fills me with deep emotions. It is so painful when we lose someone we love. Losing someone without reconciliation is very painful, which has happened to me. Today, i never let that happen. Thank you again for sharing..Hugs****

    • lifegate profile image

      William Kovacic 4 years ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      Thank you so much Friend!

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Craiglyn... yes there are ways... people have done it from what I have been told... yes running a houseful of Macs here... just my old PC gaming computer left... I still like the kid in me... lol

      Sent you a friend request on FB as well...

      Hugs

    • craiglyn profile image

      Lynda 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      It looks to me like you have to have a Mac computer?

    • craiglyn profile image

      Lynda 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Oh thank you so much Rolly for telling me that. I just recently downloaded a PDF of a story "The Naked Truth" written by a TV and Radio personality in this area. First time I have read on my computer and that was different. My book is available on Kindle too and I was wondering how folks who in Canada may just have Kobo manage this, but as I am finding out there are all kinds of ways. - : )

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      You can download a fre App called Kindle and load it directly to your computer... easy as pie... I know it is not the same as holding one but I am working on that. Just go to the apple app store and type in Kindle App and you are away...

      Hugs

    • craiglyn profile image

      Lynda 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Thank you so much for the thought Rolly - I don't have a Kindle yet; seems like I will have to start getting with the programme - : )

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Lifegate... thanks for the condolences... smiles to your comment of pondering... it does leave us to think does it not... A free download for you Brother... let all the people in your circles know it is up for only a few days...

      http://www.amazon.com/Checkers-Corner-ebook/dp/B00...

      Blessings and Hugs

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi craiglyn... well spoken and indeed so very true. We will all suffer loss in this life. I like to think of the better times with these men and the laughter and joking that took place... what a blessing that was...

      A free download if you like... share the link with all your friends...

      http://www.amazon.com/Checkers-Corner-ebook/dp/B00...

      Hugs from Alberta

    • lifegate profile image

      William Kovacic 4 years ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      So sorry to hear about your losses, but thank God for memories of those special people who He has used to touch us. On a more introspective side, I had to contemplate your statement, "Have you ever wondered what would be said over you at your funeral, your celebration of live, the gathering of people whom you have touched. " - leaves me wondering.

      Hugs and prayers, Brother!

    • craiglyn profile image

      Lynda 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Friendship is one of the most precious things in life in my opinion. Friends are here to cheer you up when you are down, and to applaud your accomplishments along the way. Life is short - and kindness is always the best way. And I am a big believer in the knowledge that "love never dies". What a beautiful tribute you have given to your two special friends. I really enjoyed it. Hugs from Ontario

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi days leaper... welcome to the Fireside... always good to have another join.

      I do agree with you at the loss of a friendship. For me it has always been a time to reflect, maybe attempt to repair the damage and to search deep within and see where it is I need to change.

      I have been blessed to have several friendships that have lasted 25 years or more and are still strong. The greatest key is love and being there for others during the good and yes the bad times... the blessings come in knowing they are there for you as well.

      Hugs from Canada

    • days leaper profile image

      days leaper 4 years ago from england

      Beautiful words! And useful. I was at a low eb as my thoughtlessness and confusion caused loss of one or two good friendships. You said, these friendships have taught you something. This gives me hope as now I fear the losses less and think maybe eventually; no matter how many losses I need, one day I may know enough to be able to nurture the friendships of people I need around me.

      Thanks man. I will read more of your hubs.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi drbj... wonderful comment and pleased to have let them into the lives of the readers... they were both special men.

      If I learned one thing during the past few weeks is when you get the urge to call someone... do so. Such was the case with Dennis. I had the urge and kept putting it off. If we feel it we should be more aware of what may happen.

      Hugs from Canada

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Billy...

      Hugs over your loss. Amazing the way your Dad is still teaching. What a gift he has left you with my friend.

      I lost my dad in 2005 and there is not a day passes without thinking of him and what he left me.

      Hugs Bro... proud of you

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Carol... you are so right about loosing friends over a few words. Often in families words are spoken in haste and it causes separation that just continues to grow into bitterness.

      I have learned over the years it is better to admit I have been wrong than to allow the anger to cause problems.

      Hugs from Canada

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      What an inspiring yet tender hub, Rolly. Through your outstanding summation, I feel as if I knew personally the friends you have recently lost. My deepest consolation to you. They survive with this tribute.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi tillsontitan... thank you for stopping and the wonderful comment. Far to often I think we just slide on through life and never really stop and reflect on where we have been. We just get caught up in the daily traffic and centered on our own worlds.

      Really what does it take for us to just smile, give a kind word or a helping hand to another. Just a little of our time is all...

      Hugs from Canada

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Rolly, I am of course sorry for your loss. However, like you, I choose to believe that those who have passed on are never really gone. I have learned more from my father in the forty years since he died than in the twenty years I knew him while he lived.

      This is a beautiful tribute my friend.

      peace be with you, today and always,

      bill

    • carol7777 profile image

      carol stanley 4 years ago from Arizona

      There are many ways to lose friends besides death. Sometimes you have a friend for many years and a few careless comments ends the relationship. Friendships are so important and as they say ..they are our chosen family.

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 4 years ago from New York

      Your writings are always so inspirational and this one is no exception. The people you lost touched your life in beautiful ways and I have no doubt you did the same. This tribute reflects a lot of warmth and love. There is nothing we can do better than reflecting on our lives and loved ones.

      Voted up, useful, and awesome. God bless.