- Gender and Relationships»
- Romantic Intimacy
The Lost Art of Mystery
Everyone loves a little mystery. That's why we wrap gifts instead of outright displayin them. There's something thrilling about unraveling something little by little. It teases our brains with promises of more.
We often express ourselves in the way we dress. Has someone ever caught your eye and you were immediately curious about them? There was most likely something a little different about them that struck you. They displayed and expressed themselves in a new original way. Being a writer, I like to think of everyone as characters in a book. Some are brighter than others and stick out in my mind and memory.
I think we all desire to be the colorful character that sparks interest and a desire to know more. The character that keeps readers wondering and turning pages.
How we dress is an outward reflection on who we are. What do you want to say? I tend to think applying tasteful modesty is a good way to create mystery. Withholding a little indicates having a secret. Everyone loves when someone tells them a good secret that nobody else knows. It makes it sacred. Nobody else knows. Do you get me? If you told everyone your great secret, it wouldn't be very special anymore now would it?
Self expression can also be displayed in how we carry ourselves and what we choose to talk about.
Now this mainly has to do with how you act in a relationship. Are you always available? Do you drop everything to respond to that text? I'm not going to say that you should always play hard to get or in any way be rude. What I am going to say is this. Never become so consumed in a person that you lose who you are yourself. If you don't continue pursuing your own dreams and desires outside of the relationship, you're going to become boring.
You should make your significant a priority in your life, but don't lose sight of the balance. It's okay to sometimes have separate plans. Give them time to miss you. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. It's easy to get funnel vision when in a relationship. We stop being ourselves and can no longer tell our significant other new things about ourselves or our week because they already know everything. In the not so distant past we didn't have so many ways of communication through social media. Couples had a date on Saturday night and maybe a phone conversation in the evening during the week.
And when you are together, don't stop asking questions. Think of new interesting things to ask. You can even google lists of interesting questions to ask a significant other. Keep things fresh and new. Most likely, if you ask them a question they're going to want to know your answer too. You'll most likely surprise them with some of your answers to and keep them wondering and curious about you. That's the goal right?
Now I am going to say something very unpopular. Intimacy with someone should be just that. Intimate. I believe that to mean emotionally too. Becoming emotionally intimate takes time. Once you go all the way in a relationship, you can't ever take it back. Too many people get in a hurry and rush things. There's a charged current and excitement in a new relationship. There's a reason for that. The curiosity and anticipation is thick. Don't be afraid to take it slow and savor the blossoming sensations. A masterpiece can take days to paint.
Spontaneity is a key ingredient in mystery. The unexpected can spin your day around from ordinary to extraordinary. A good surprise can keep you smiling for days. Don't be afraid to step out and shake it up a bit. Throw a little spice into the mixture of life. Keep people guessing. What is that certain something? I'll leave that up to you.