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The Lost Episode. The Art of Conversation.

Updated on February 16, 2011

 I was sitting here at my desk, emailing, using the cell phone to send texts, instant messaging, the TV playing in the background for noise, and thought to myself, we have lost conversation. Even though I have many going on at once, I hear no voices, I see no eyes looking back into mine, I see no body language, just the pecking away at my keyboard, or that of my cell phone’s chirping. I might have two or five conversations going on at once, but are they really conversations in an art form. They are communicating. They are sending thoughts across this cyber void, across the miles and miles of cell phone towers.

But what happened to the art of conversation? Has it become a lost episode lost in the vaults of computers, cell phones, iPods?

There are lists of how to be successful at the art of conversation.


There are books written on how to practice the art of conversation.


There are rules for the art of conversation.

Let’s go over those, and see how we have lost those in this cyber world.


  • Listen to the other person, Engage. Listen carefully to what they saying, and later you can ask questions, formulate your questions based on their conversation. We call this small talk at times, but you can truly make it an art form. Hold their attention by you holding theirs. Rapt attention, curiosity, and fascination. We are talking about social conversation, engaging on social levels. If this is someone that you could possibly have an interest in, perhaps on a personal level, dating, take it to another level in the next tip.
  • Body Language. Use your body language to show how open and approachable you are. Do not slump, which is language that you may be bored, or fold your arms, which is a defensive position. Smile, make eye contact, and leave your arms uncrossed. Nod once in a while to show that you are listening, paying attention.
  • Find interesting topics to discuss. Read the news, current events, topics that you may find the party/parties might have an interest in. Do your research beforehand. Make it a conversation for all, not just your own interests. Do not put all the focus on yourself.
  • If asked your point of view, express it clearly and in a non-confrontational tone. Don’t be afraid to speak your mind, but be open to any responses, debates, or questions you get as a result. Clarify if someone has misinterpreted what you have said.
  • Toss in humor! For keeping the art of conversation going is in keeping the other person/people entertained, and engaged. Don’t let it be offensive. And always engage in the right humor for the right conversation.


There used to be so many rules for engaging in the art of conversation, don’t bring up politics, religion, nothing controversial. That wouldn’t leave much at times, but now being politically correct, I believe we can bring up those subjects, as long as we do it in an art form. Do not monopolize the conversation. Engage, act, and interact. Ask open-ended questions that are neither yes nor no. They will leave the conversation going. They can often times start a conversation. And if you are with a partner, say at a dinner party, save quarrels with your partner for another time, don’t correct them in public, make hostile comments, criticize, or ridicule.

Don’t feel you have to try too hard, laughing at every joke, or uncomfortable with each slice of silence.

Be yourself!

Enjoy, and get out there and practice!

Dust off those lost episodes and get out there and bring back the art of conversation!




“Conversation about the weather is the last refuse of the unimaginative.” ~Oscar Wilde~





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    • LaurieDawn profile image

      LaurieDawn 7 years ago

      Dear Epi,

      I have found great messages and morals in your stories, and in your poetry. I love your words of prose that sings to me in the night, or in the day. And you my Friend, you have a wonderful delightful way of conversating! And thank you for your kind compliments!

      Blessings and hugs,


    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 7 years ago true so true - that is why I like to tell stories in my writing and hopefully leave a message or some kind of moral ......your writing is also very artful and certainly not lost on me - your cyber conversation and hub communication always takes me to a higher more enlightened level - so I guess it's the old saying - it takes one to know one - and you are certainly one of a kind!!!!

    • LaurieDawn profile image

      LaurieDawn 7 years ago

      I know that feeling well Dear Friend! I too used to be such a public person, and now I like to stay home and chat. In my jammies! It must be a sign of middle-age, but I say whatever makes you comfortable. Thank you for your sweet words Darlin' Darski!

      Blessings and love,


    • Darlene Sabella profile image

      Darlene Sabella 7 years ago from Hello, my name is Toast and Jam, I live in the forest with my dog named Sam ...

      I have spend my life in public and now as a retired person I have enjoyed being a hermit. Now my children have me on skype, and cooking together from so far away. I am becoming a part of the human race, and my joy was always to make everyone laugh. This is an excellent hub, and I enjoyed it very much, rate up my friend. Love darski

    • LaurieDawn profile image

      LaurieDawn 7 years ago

      Greetings Katiem,

      Thank you for your nice compliments. A true art I have always believed, and one that is vital to keep going and not be placed on a shelf. We do get lost at times in this cyber world, and at times forget how to do the art of conversation!

      It is nice to "meet" you and I hope to see you again!



    • LaurieDawn profile image

      LaurieDawn 7 years ago

      What a wonderful comment Maggs! Ah, nothing beats that face to face chat! I can picture that, sitting there in the morning sun, chatting lazily.

      Thank you for sharing that with me.



    • katiem2 profile image

      katiem2 7 years ago from I'm outta here

      Awesome and a very important reality to consider. We must keep all our social skills vital and working properly and to the best of our abilities. Great work with The Lost Episode of The Art of Conversation. There's nothing as rewarding and fullfilling as good conversation. Rated up and all that is good. Peace :)

    • maggs224 profile image

      maggs224 7 years ago from Sunny Spain

      I love the Internet and I love skype but nothing beats a good old face to face chat. This morning I was at our bar/café while my husband was doing a bit of a stock check to see what was needed I was sat outside with a cup of tea talking to some of the customers.

      It was a lovely warm November morning; not a cloud in the sky and the temperature must have been in the high seventies. The customers were basking in the sunshine enjoying their toasted teacakes chatting with one another across the tables. The pace of life slow and unhurried with all the time in the world to chat and enjoy one another’s company.

      Then my husband came out with the shopping list and real life resumed its normal hurried way Lol…

    • LaurieDawn profile image

      LaurieDawn 7 years ago

      Greetings Prasetio,

      Thank you for your kind words. I would have to agree with you, always better to give support and not insult.

      It is a pleasure to "meet" you and thank you for stopping by.



    • prasetio30 profile image

      prasetio30 7 years ago from malang-indonesia

      I hope we can brought the conversation in good manner. At least we don't insult each other but better to give support . I believe everything goes well. Very inspiring hub. Thank you very much.