The Love Me Do and Don't for Love eMotions
I know, the title is a play on words, the Beatles wrote a lot about this issue in their songs, in fact, it will always be the single most used topic for a song or to conjure up emotions when acting. Love emotions always are strong and resist the passage of time. But everyone who is or was in love knows there are different emotions and baggage at play and it helps to know what some basic ones are that are universal.
Even within one family, there will be the hugger and kissers or seem to need or crave attention on a fairly constant basis with a clinging effect. Most seem to think they are insecure. Others are more distant, aloof, reserved and personally feel smothered with excess affection, In fact many relationships start with clinging and attention and evolve (once the excitement has dropped) into having less need for it because they are secure or at worse, lost interest.
There is an Avoidment Attachment Style in a person if they have the following traits:
- They feel overwhelmed or smothered with too much emotion.
- A person who focuses on your faults or compares you with past partners.
- Being irritated by excessive closeness or contact.
- You generally do not initiate affection first, you wait until your partner does.
- You take care of yourself first.
- You have a problem about being close to another.
The other personality is the Anxious Attachment Style:
- Your behavior goes whacko for attention, say things you regret, when you think things are wrong in the relationship. You may threaten to break-up.
- When you are apart, you worry too much about what the other half is doing and secretly are afraid you might lose them.
- You expect the other to pick up cues and clues about how you are feeling without much communication and you want them to make it right.
- You are always on the lookout for signs of rejection.
Which one are you?