- Gender and Relationships
The Lows of Dating a Married Man
In your opinion, whom should the wife blame for her husband's cheating?
What every 'other woman' should expect
Dating a married man is a bad idea. It may be exciting to the woman when she realises that a man has ties that bind him but he still wants her. She throws caution to the wind. Maybe she accepts him out of curiosity or because she seriously wants to be involved with that man. Although sometimes men may not be truthful about their marital status, this article is about women who know that their sweethearts are some people's husbands but have chosen to be involved with them anyway.
What could be a woman's agenda while dating a married man? It could be just for fun, she could be hoping that she will one day replace the wife or they could be genuinely in love but cannot fully commit to each other because they are held back by their marital status. Yes, married women cheat too but that will be a topic for another day.
When a woman gets involved with a married man, she knows;
She should expect a call from his wife anyday
Most wives will confront the other woman no matter what most people believe about whom she really should confront. She is usually bitter and she hopes that she can block the 'intruder' from her marriage. She will therefore one day contact the other woman maybe with the intention to just question her. Or introduce herself just incase she did not know that the man she is involved with is married. She might insult her. Or she could be calling just to find out what is going on. The other woman better be ready. That call, text or guest must surely come someday.
It is risky
Although all relationships are potentially risky, love triangles top the list.
Firstly, she could get a sexually transmitted disease from that setting. She might not even be the only woman that the man is involved with. The wife could be involved with someone else. It might not even be just a love triangle but rather a love network.
Secondly, hell has no wrath like a woman scorned. Nothing annoys a woman than her marriage being a crowd. She probably found her dream husband and suddenly she now has to deal with the fact that her husband has betrayed her. Her perfect marriage is now tainted. She does not want to share. So she is going to find ways to deal with the one person that has messed up her marriage...and it's usually not the husband according to most wives. It's obvious that the husband is the home-wrecker but all reasoning has left the wife and so the real enemy in her mind is the mistress.
Some men are married to very vengeful, dangerous women and there comes the other woman, testing the waters. Maybe she should try getting acquainted with the wife before getting involved with her man. The affair could have a tragic ending.
The relationship is a secret
The fun in any relationship involves sharing your happiness with other people but this affair must be hidden from people who matter. They do not want to be seen together especially because dating married men is shunned upon and he has a larger family that expects him to behave as a married man should. When he's out with his wife the other woman suddenly does not exist.
No matter how much they love and care for each other they cannot openly express it.
He goes on with his marriage and the other woman has to be contented with the life he enjoys with her in private.
She should not fall in love with him
As soon as she falls in love she could started expecting more of that man and that's what most married men do not want. An affair could start as just a fling only to progress into something bigger. She started off just pleased having to spend some little time and having his attention when he can. But with time, she could wish for more. Most married men just want to have a 'side-chic' for fun. She is like a toy that he wants to play with when he is bored. But as soon as she falls in love she will start complaining about his absence, unreplied texts and bills. This is a man who has escaped all that nagging from his house and all he wants is someone to rescue him from that once in a while. Once the mistress starts acting like the wife, the man withdraws himself from her, the relationship ends and she's left heart-broken.
And if he falls in love with her he could leave the wife for her
Is she ready for that? It's easy for the other woman to love that man when she doesn't have to do all the work his wife does for him. When she does not have to deal with arguments about sex, children and bills. When she imagines he likes her more than he does his wife. When he seems to have found new love with her.
Forget everything you have heard about men never leaving their wives. Men do leave their wives sometimes so that they may be single again and sometimes for the other woman. He is looking for happiness and he could imagine that his happiness lies with the other woman.
"You lose them the same way you get them..." is a phrase people like to use when someone loses someone whom she/he 'snatched' from someone else. But that's not what happens. This is not about karma. It's just reality. They will break up because she will now be 'handling' the man on her own. The honeymoon is over. The lust has faded. Enter responsibilities. It will not be as rosy as it was. She now has to do everything the wife was doing and he could go back to his former wife since he has found out that the grass is not greener on the other side, he could stay single or he will might find himself a new woman to give him the comfort he cannot find at the home he shares with the woman who was once his 'other woman' and so the cycle continues.