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The Lows of Dating a Married Man

Updated on April 30, 2018
Mary Florence profile image

Mary Florence has been a freelance writer for over 5 years and she enjoys writing articles on general topics.

In your opinion, whom should the wife blame for her husband's cheating?

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What every 'other woman' should expect

Dating a married man is a bad idea. It may be exciting to the woman when she realises that a man has ties that bind him but he still wants her. She throws caution to the wind. Maybe she accepts him out of curiosity or because she seriously wants to be involved with that man. Although sometimes men may not be truthful about their marital status, this article is about women who know that their sweethearts are some people's husbands but have chosen to be involved with them anyway.

What could be a woman's agenda while dating a married man? It could be just for fun, she could be hoping that she will one day replace the wife or they could be genuinely in love but cannot fully commit to each other because they are held back by their marital status. Yes, married women cheat too but that will be a topic for another day.

When a woman gets involved with a married man, she knows;

Secret Lovers
Secret Lovers | Source

She should expect a call from his wife anyday

Most wives will confront the other woman no matter what most people believe about whom she really should confront. She is usually bitter and she hopes that she can block the 'intruder' from her marriage. She will therefore one day contact the other woman maybe with the intention to just question her. Or introduce herself just incase she did not know that the man she is involved with is married. She might insult her. Or she could be calling just to find out what is going on. The other woman better be ready. That call, text or guest must surely come someday.


It is risky

Although all relationships are potentially risky, love triangles top the list.


Firstly, she could get a sexually transmitted disease from that setting. She might not even be the only woman that the man is involved with. The wife could be involved with someone else. It might not even be just a love triangle but rather a love network.

Secondly, hell has no wrath like a woman scorned. Nothing annoys a woman than her marriage being a crowd. She probably found her dream husband and suddenly she now has to deal with the fact that her husband has betrayed her. Her perfect marriage is now tainted. She does not want to share. So she is going to find ways to deal with the one person that has messed up her marriage...and it's usually not the husband according to most wives. It's obvious that the husband is the home-wrecker but all reasoning has left the wife and so the real enemy in her mind is the mistress.

Some men are married to very vengeful, dangerous women and there comes the other woman, testing the waters. Maybe she should try getting acquainted with the wife before getting involved with her man. The affair could have a tragic ending.


The relationship is a secret

The fun in any relationship involves sharing your happiness with other people but this affair must be hidden from people who matter. They do not want to be seen together especially because dating married men is shunned upon and he has a larger family that expects him to behave as a married man should. When he's out with his wife the other woman suddenly does not exist.

No matter how much they love and care for each other they cannot openly express it.

He goes on with his marriage and the other woman has to be contented with the life he enjoys with her in private.

She should not fall in love with him

As soon as she falls in love she could started expecting more of that man and that's what most married men do not want. An affair could start as just a fling only to progress into something bigger. She started off just pleased having to spend some little time and having his attention when he can. But with time, she could wish for more. Most married men just want to have a 'side-chic' for fun. She is like a toy that he wants to play with when he is bored. But as soon as she falls in love she will start complaining about his absence, unreplied texts and bills. This is a man who has escaped all that nagging from his house and all he wants is someone to rescue him from that once in a while. Once the mistress starts acting like the wife, the man withdraws himself from her, the relationship ends and she's left heart-broken.

And if he falls in love with her he could leave the wife for her

Is she ready for that? It's easy for the other woman to love that man when she doesn't have to do all the work his wife does for him. When she does not have to deal with arguments about sex, children and bills. When she imagines he likes her more than he does his wife. When he seems to have found new love with her.

Forget everything you have heard about men never leaving their wives. Men do leave their wives sometimes so that they may be single again and sometimes for the other woman. He is looking for happiness and he could imagine that his happiness lies with the other woman.

"You lose them the same way you get them..." is a phrase people like to use when someone loses someone whom she/he 'snatched' from someone else. But that's not what happens. This is not about karma. It's just reality. They will break up because she will now be 'handling' the man on her own. The honeymoon is over. The lust has faded. Enter responsibilities. It will not be as rosy as it was. She now has to do everything the wife was doing and he could go back to his former wife since he has found out that the grass is not greener on the other side, he could stay single or he will might find himself a new woman to give him the comfort he cannot find at the home he shares with the woman who was once his 'other woman' and so the cycle continues.

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    • Mary Florence profile imageAUTHOR

      Mary Florence 

      14 months ago

      Some men do not mind gold-diggers but some are turned off by a gold-digger no matter how "hot" she is.

      If the mail-man is wealthier than the doctor some 'academic' fathers will still be bothered.

      I do not believe that men are impressed by the same things.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      14 months ago

      Believe it or not most men who are super rich could care less if a woman is a "gold digger' as long as she's "hot"!

      In fact one of the driving forces for "average looking men" to succeed is to be able to attract "beautiful women".

      They see it as one of the "perks" to having fame and money.

      While there are men who detest "gold diggers" many of them are hypocrites when it comes to their own daughters. They want them to "marry well" rather than marry for love.

      If she brings home a guy who is a mail man and another who is a surgeon her parents are going suggest she marries the doctor no matter how great of a guy the mail man is!

    • Mary Florence profile imageAUTHOR

      Mary Florence 

      14 months ago

      Correct! But men are also cautious about women who want them just for the good life. Men are very keen about avoiding gold-diggers. In fact, most men want to use women but don't want to be used.So the ladies are taking their time,being patient before they pounce on the wallet because they do not want to make their intentions obvious. Women who need gold should definitely join the sugarbabies sort of dating sites where there's no pretending. With the rest of the men they might end up mopping floors during the holidays to prove a point.

      Good luck to the ones that think they can find love with married men.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      14 months ago

      "What could be a woman's agenda while dating a married man? It could be just for fun..." Very true!

      In all honesty more "other women" these days don't want the guy to be a full-time relationship. They love having "fun times" with him while the wife gets to do the laundry, cook, and all the other "responsible stuff" that comes with being in a committed relationship.

      Having an affair is an "escape from reality".

      Some women have been known to dump married men who left their wives! Many of them are also seeing other men.

      The stereotype of the "other woman" mopping around the house in tears alone for the holidays simply does not match lives of many "other women" these days.

      They're jetting off with girlfriends for weekend getaways to Las Vegas, Cancun, and Jamaica, sharing and laughing about their exploits while enjoying life.

      This is especially true if the married man is a famous celebrity, athlete , multi-millionaire and so on. These women KNEW the man was married and threw themselves at him to get onboard for a fun adventurous ride.

      Our society still buys into the notion that (all women) are looking for "love and marriage".

      The reality is today there are many women signed up on niche dating sites looking (to have affairs) with married successful men like SugarBabies.com.

      Yes there are still some men who hide they're married or women who go from just having fun to falling "in love" but these days there are a lot of women willing to be the "side piece" if it offers them some benefits.

      This may be just a "phase" they're going through but for now it's all about "living it up". Very few people acknowledge "the other woman" in that light. Many of them are just as selfish as cheaters.

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