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The Man Who Wanted to Become a Barbie Doll

Updated on November 27, 2013

This is the story of Nicole Sanders, who you may have heard of by her stage name, Nikki Exotika.

While she was born a man, she was and is transsexual.

She had transgender surgery years ago to turn her into a woman, but that wasn't enough for Nicole.

She had a life-long fascination with Barbie dolls, and set out, with the help of plastic surgery to turn herself into a real-life Barbie doll.

All of us, if we look deep inside ourselves, can understand that some people are simply born in the wrong bodies.

In society, there is only male and female. There is no third sex, although it could be argued that there is. The sheer numbers of men who want to be women suggest there could well be a race of people who are neither men nor women, but who feel the necessity to be one or the other, thanks to societal pressure.

As these people have those feelings from childhood, it is obviously something they are born with, and opposed to those feelings appearing as a result of something that happened in their lives.

The teenage years can be a nightmare for young people with transgender issues, and many attempt suicide as the pressure becomes too great.

They have no-one to turn to for help, as no doubt their parents are what are considered to be normal heterosexual men and women.

Now that the internet has arrived in every home, it is hoped that young people with transgender issues can find the help they need online to accept themselves for what they are.

Barbie (L) and Nicole Sanders

Nicole Sanders has a curvier body than Barbie
Nicole Sanders has a curvier body than Barbie

Girl children in boy's bodies

Jason Torres was one such child. His childhood was marred by playground bullies because he was different.

Growing up in New Jersey, he liked to play with dolls, especially Barbie dolls. He hung around with the girls, feeling like one of them.

He felt he was a girl trapped inside a boy's body, all his life.

Things came to a head when Jason was just 16 and he attempted suicide by swallowing 100 paracetamol pills.

His life was only saved by the quick action of medics after his mother found him lying unconscious in the family bathroom.

After a 2 month stay in hospital during which time Jason was offered professional counselling, he came out, knowing the he wanted to change from a man to a woman.

can you tell which one is Barbie?
can you tell which one is Barbie?

Jason moves to New York and becomes Nicole

His parents did not understand his issues, and a few months later, they kicked him out.

Jason spent a year living on friends' sofas, before moving to Manhatten at the age of 18, and soon found work as a dancer in a gay nightclub.

At this point in his young life, Jason came into close contact with drag artists and he began emulating them. He was struck by their beauty, but soon found himself out of work when he starting going into work with long blond hair extensions.

He said "They wanted pretty boys and I was turning into a pretty girl instead."

Jason took the name Nicole Sanders, and soon found other work dancing in normal nightclubs. From there, she was spotted by a talent scout, and was soon signed up to dance at the big New York clubs, where she came into contact with many rich men who thought she was beautiful.

Her earnings shot up, and she was able to pay for sexual reassignment surgery that completed her transformation.

Still, Nicole wasn't happy with her body.

She'd wanted to become just like the Barbie dolls she had so loved as a child, but her slender body still resembled the male body she had been born with.

And so, with the help of some of the many rich boyfriends she had met along the way, she began an amazing series of operations, to mould her body into one that made her look like a real life Barbie doll.

She had:

  • 4 nose jobs
  • 5 breast ops
  • a brow lift
  • cheek implants
  • jaw surgery
  • chin implants
  • calf implants
  • filter lip injections
  • botox jabs

as well as her gender reassignment surgery, costing a total of more then $300,000!

Her love affair with having surgery only ended when she had some botched jobs done by the now-disgraced plastic surgeon Brad Jacobs who has since been struck off for malpractice.

Fortunately, a surgeon in L.A. was able to correct the mistakes left by Brad Jacobs, but the experience has scarred Nicole so much, she no longer wants to go under the surgeon's knife.

Nicole Sanders is a singer/songwriter as well as a dancer and model, and goes under the stage name of Nikki Exotica.

She is already famous on Youtube where she has several videos showing her stage performances as well as videos containing surgery tips for those wishing to change or improve their bodies.

She is hoping to move into TV/acting work, and has already appeared on TV documentary 'Tears, Tiaras and Transsexuals', which showed Nicole and others competing in The World's Most Beautiful Transsexual's Pageant.


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    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Jahida... He is a man but a very special man and if you look into History, this is the only time in history his type of man has been treated with so little respect... all gender variant behavior falls under a tribe called "two spirited people" if you are from a native culture, we were your Holy men and marriage counselors... advisers to Kings and Queens that ruled the earth... before the Christians came onto the scene we were the keepers of the secrets of God... now if you take all of that power away from an unusual man like this... all he has left is himself and the knowledge that he is different... our tribe was fearless so he doesn't fear you, so if you don't see him... he will make sure you do... look it up... you may be kin to oh hope you have a great day...

    • IzzyM profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from UK

      I don't think so. He was a man certainly, but with female traits and characteristics.

    • jahida profile image


      8 years ago from algeria

      he still a man pfffffff

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Also for trans, you wake up everyday of your life thinking about what to wear... it's the OCD i guess but it really is true... you are dreaming then you are awake and in the dream you are wearing a certain thing or look a certain way, then when you wake you are thinking what is in your closet... maddening in ways...

    • Eiddwen profile image


      8 years ago from Wales

      Very interesting indeed and here's to so many more to share on here.

      Take care


    • PegCole17 profile image

      Peg Cole 

      8 years ago from Northeast of Dallas, Texas

      Very interesting subject and the title really drew me in. Good one! I once knew a transexual woman, Tina, who used to be Willie. We worked together at a hair salon and during idle times, oh, the stories she would tell!

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      I am a two spirited individual, which is the umbrella group for all gender variant people... "Transsexuals" out society called them...a lot of us are in the entertainment business because there in lies the least prejudice in America at least... most Trans have a hefty dose of OCD on top of being duel gendered...and yes "two spirited" people were held in high esteem... we were advisers to Kings, Queens and leaders in almost every culture... google.."two spirited people"

      Just as each of you in the binary system come with a set of beliefs about your gender, you rarely think about it because you only have one, each of us in the trans community come with two... like double vision, the medical community, has done my tribe a great disservice by trying to help us fit into the binary system...because modern therapy could not change the brain and give us some peace from this gift that we all seem to have, they decided the only solution was to change the body to fit the brain...Geez and they called us I punch fun, but it is no laughing matter, I have a massive support group that helps me deal with my own life each day... mostly to appear normal in your world...I say your world because, our behavior is definitely scary to most people...trans are unhappy with their bodies to begin with... so with a healthy dose of OCD and some light to heavy Narcissitic behavior added in... you get "Barbie" to the trans, she has lived in this foreign body for all of her life, so it makes very little difference to change it one way or another...she has very healthy view of the person inside, believe it or not, except she generally sees the body where she lives as just that, just a her it's like remodeling your house, she has dissasociated herself long ago... so what's a lot of work, excessive actually to the normal person... to her it's a natural thing to want to finish and look like she wants to look...the entertainment industry, rewards the macabre or different person so. it's a place of peace for the strange, welcome to "Life in the arena"...

      To me trans are the new eunuchs, they are beautiful women who can never really be.... more like maniquins, we just look like it... I am different in that I was brought up by parents who didn't make me feel bad that I was two...they loved me through it... I think education is the key... for instance, if the parents do not know about a third gender or two spirited people... you would naturally take little Johnnie to the doctor... generally the medical community says, hey if you are not a man, you must be a woman... damn.. think about that for a moment... we are men who know about women... which most of you guys don' years ago we were great... advisers and friends to Kings... the last seventy years since the medical community has been helping us, we have been branded the freaks on the Jerry Springer Show...

    • IzzyM profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from UK

      Have you not seen the latest thing with the super models? Anorexic-thin is IN! Dear God when will they learn?

    • Jean Bakula profile image

      Jean Bakula 

      8 years ago from New Jersey

      Interesting stuff Izzy. I never liked dolls much. I thought the Mattel Company tried to make Barbie's figure more realistic for the times. Nobody has that tiny waist since Scarlett O'Hara.

    • IzzyM profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from UK

      Knew you'd be around somewhere Jeanine, you can explain it so much better than me! Would like to hear your opinion on the character this hub is written about. Is it normal to want to look like a doll?

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      the tribe is called "Two spirited people" most native tribes... will be back to comment later...

    • IzzyM profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from UK

      Someone over on my other hub about transsexuals said that he belonged to an ancient tribe of people that were suppressed by Christianity, and that sounds like it could be true considering the many things Christianity did suppress. He said they were once the ancient equivalent of marriage guidance counsellors because they could empathise with both points of view. I don't know the figures of androgenous people. 10% does seem a bit high, but it could be true.

    • Jean Bakula profile image

      Jean Bakula 

      8 years ago from New Jersey

      Recently in one of the metaphysics classes I take, the teacher said that 10 % of the world population is born androgenous. The parents make a choice, (a quick one) right after the child is born, and the hospital staff tries to make the child one gender or the other. I thought that figure was high, but we discussed it again and the teacher insisted this was right. She also talks about people that are born with tails, remnants of civilizations from millions of years ago where people and animals mated, as in Atlantis and Lemuria. In Genesis, it does say there was a race of giants who "thought the daughters of men were beautiful" a nice way of saying they mated with them. Who knows who was doing what with who or what when God told Noah to build the ark? I interpret the Bible as myth, but most myth is based on at least a little fact. Weird stuff.

    • IzzyM profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from UK

      It seems odd to me because I have never wanted plastic surgery. I am what I am and have no intention of changing, but would she have had the surgery done if she couldn't afford it? Did she choose a lifestyle that allowed her to earn enough to pay for it? Who knows?

    • moncrieff profile image


      8 years ago from New York, NY

      Interesting story... It made me ponder... Here, we see a person who, given the abundance of money, was able to live out her morbid obcession (doll, not sex). Money always enable us to ingulge ourselves. But if we don't have the ability to do so, should we necessarily sink into depression and abhorrence of unhappy life? That is, should we possess a self-restraint towards our wild dreams?.. Thanks for sharing.


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