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Friends Do Not Last Long: The Look Into Making Friends in College

Updated on June 30, 2012
HLKeeley profile image

HL Keeley has received a Bachelors Degree in Middle Grades Education. She has just completed her first year teaching.

Friendship

If you have never moved out of your hometown or switched schools, most likely many of your friends have been with you from Kindergarten. That is not a bad thing! This just means that you have to prepare yourself for disappointment. There are three factors to why friendships do not last long with college. Keep in mind, true friends will try to maintain a friendship.

  1. With modern technology that need to stay in touch is slowly dissipating. People do not have to call to ask how you are doing because they already know from Facebook and Twitter.
  2. While you are making new friends, so are they. They start to bond and connect more with their new friends that they simply do not have the time to stay in touch, just like you.
  3. Distance does not make the heart fonder. Distance creates distrust and jealousy. You will become jealous of the new friends.

These three things can be applied to any situation. Ask your parents how many of their high school friends they keep in touch with outside of Facebook. It is not a bad thing to grow distant from some people. You can always take the time to see them again.

The worst thing about clinging on to friendships at home is that they become the anchor. It will stop you from developing friendships in college. Your best friend from home went to another college and is making friends. He/she is making statuses about his/her new best friend. That jealousy can either push you to make friends or just float there in Jealou'sea'. (See what I did there?)

The friends you make in college have a better potential of helping you. You are meeting people from different cities, states, and even countries. This is how adults collect "connections." Being part of a sorority and fraternity is the best example of where to collect "connections."

Friendship is a lot of drama, but it is what will keep you going in school. Your friends will be the reason you want to go to class, so you can laugh about the teacher or play on your laptops. Friends are what keep you from drifting out to sea. Who knows maybe you will find your maid of honor or best man?

Relationships

Boy meets girl. They fall in love and happily ever after, right? Sometimes.

The three things that destroys friendship, definitely destroy relationships. Relationships always float in the jealou"sea". Their ship's named Doubt.

Communication is key in long distance relationships. If you want to be exclusive at two different colleges that could be up to six hours apart, then you have to be willing to make it work. I do not know a lot of success stories with this, but I know the failed ones. They did not work because of lack of trust, little communication, and effort. The effort to make it work shows the other that you truly do care about making the relationship work. You do not have to call every night, but little things show that you are thinking of them.

Here are some tricks that make it work:

  1. Surprise visits. Careful with this, tell one of their friends first because a surprise visit can look like a surprise inspection.
  2. Flowers, Teddy Bear..etc (male). A nice way to show your girl that she is always on your mind. Write a note with it or they will be suspicious about the intentions. Sometimes flowers are a way of saying "sorry" not "I miss you."
  3. Text or call. Guys really like when their girl take time to talk to them instead of hanging out with their friends, especially when a girl is getting a guy friend.
  4. Become friends with their friends. This shows you still want to be part of their world. When you guys talk about your life, your friends are a big aspect. The other will feel included in the conversation if they know your friends.
  5. Trust. Trust that your significant other is not cheating on you. Most likely if this happens, the relationship will strain anyway from guilt. Cheaters are always caught. If they do cheat, do you still want to be in a relationship with them?

It is the doubt and lack of trust in your significant other's life that steers the boat into an iceberg. Communication is key. If you cannot talk to each other, the relationship will never work.

A solution: Break-up before school starts. This gives both sides the opportunity to not feel that strain of a relationship. After you both graduate and are still single, you can always try again.

If you truly want it to work, it will work.

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    • PenHitsTheFan profile image

      Amy L. Tarr 5 years ago from Home

      We've all been there. You put this up at a good time. With all the college bound graduates, I'm sure you'll help more than a few of them.