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Independent By Default
Glorifying independence is cool... or is it?
As I sit and think about the songs glorifying the independent status of women, I can't help but think about the impact these songs have had on a generation? Lyrics from songs such as Independent Women by Destiny's Child and Miss Independent by Neyo made popular in the last decade, are imbedded in the minds of the masses. So what, if any,are the consequences of living this independent lifestyle and how will it affect a woman's chances of finding a mate?
Being independent is not always a matter of choice but a matter of necessity
Whether you're an independent woman or not, we are all trying to make it.
- Blacks struggle with 72 percent unwed mothers rate - Health - Women's health | NBC News
Debate is growing within and outside the black community of how to address the rising rate of unwed mothers. Seventy-two percent of black babies are born to unwed mothers, government statistics say — and changing that is a complex issue.
Statistics don't lie
According to the article above on nbcnews.com, 70% of professional black women are unmarried. There are many theories as to why this is. But how do we change it?
Some women seem better off single
I do not know Halle Berry personally, but I'm sure she didn't plan to be a single mother much like I didn't plan to be this independent woman I've become. I don't think the majority of women I know had this life in mind during their younger years. When I was younger I dreamed of being a wife to a loving husband who provided for me, but for varying reasons, it hasn't happened.
Since early childhood, I knew I wanted things in life, so I set out to get them. I began working while I was in high school. I learned early on that I couldn't control my relationships with the opposite sex so I began to focus on other things such as my education.
I also knew that I needed and wanted things in my life so I worked hard to get them because as I saw it, no one was going to just give me the things I wanted or needed, and if they did, there would be some type of price tag attached. So I became independent by default.
Is the fact that I have attained many things on my own a deterrent for men I find myself attracted to? Does it show them I wlll not settle for less than I deserve? Or could this be an excuse we use to explain why we are still single?
There is an upside to this whole situation; apparently I can consider myself a "bad broad" because I have my own career, my own home, and my own car; this is all according hip-hop artist Webbie of course.
You remember the catchy-yet-annoying song that taught all illiterate people how to spell I-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-t? But do you know what that means?
I-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-t... apparently means "single"
Your favorite independent woman song
Which one is your favorite song about independent women?`
Pursue romantic relationships like you pursue other goals
Every independent woman's story is as unique as her fingerprints. Some decided to wait until career and finances were in place first before pursuing romantic relationships while others have been waiting for the man with all the qualities on her list to appear one starry night. But what can an independent woman do to improve her chances at finding "the one"?
It's simple. Apply the same aggressive and necessity based attitude you used to obtain your career, home, and other goals to the search for your mate. It can be frustrating to have the ability to work hard and obtain all the things you want, except for a quality man, so maybe a change in tactic will do the trick.
Either you will change the way you look at your independent nature and use it to your advantage, or just wait for a miracle to one day change your facebook status from "single" to "in a relationship".
But ain't nobody got time to just sit back and watch things happen! You are an independent woman. And whether that is by default or by choice, you can make it work for you.