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The Men's Survival Guide to PMS

Updated on July 9, 2013

This hub is dedicated to the guys who put up with us gals. Every now and again women experience an excess of hormones causing us great stress and anxiety. We are flooded with emotions and we forget sometimes that you guys take the brunt of it. Well Ok we don't forget! We know you take the brunt of it because everything is all your fault! Oh wait! Sorry.. hormone charged moment there.. Anyway for those of you men who are less experienced with the fairer sex please read on. as this may help you through really really troubled times.

What is PMS?

Premenstrual syndrome is present days before a woman's period, throughout the period, and could be present some days after! Symptoms of PMS are as unique as the woman it affects. Some women experience cramps, bloating or nausea, or all of the above. I suffer from headaches that seem to last all day. There are many emotional symptoms as well. Women are more likely to be emotional. Once again the symptoms are unique to each woman. Some women cry, some scream, some don't say anything. I admit I have a hard time with jealousy during this time of the month!

How is your mood?

What are your PMS Symptoms?

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Chocolate cures all!
Chocolate cures all!

Chocolate is your best friend

If you are truly going to be there for your lady than take some mental notes about when her time of the month begins. This will help you be prepared in case you get a hormone induced attack. Some of the signs that "That time of the month" is coming upon her maybe her eating habits. Take a mental note on what she eats. For me.. I can't seem to get enough of the starchy stuff the salty stuff or the sweet stuff. I usually have cravings before that time hits.. and my favorite cravings are chicken wings with hot sauce and chocolate. Chocolate could be your best friend. I am sure your gal has chocolate stashed somewhere for emergency purposes. If you find her stash you best leave it alone!. Maybe you find your gal fixes a dish a certaintime of the month that she craves. Obviously by now you get that our bodies are craving stuff that is bad for you. I advise you not to say anything to your gal about what she is eating!. If you become quite clever about it you could stock the refrigerator with healthy versions of chips,wings or chocolates. If she likes dark chocolate keep a couple of real dark chocolate bars in the fridge. These are full of Antioxidants and could be healthy treat if eaten in moderation.

Food for Thought

What is your favorite PMS food?

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Do these Jeans make me look fat?

Another mental note is to observe the way she dresses. Is she wearing clothes a little bigger than usual? Is she wearing sweats and NOT working out? This may be a sign! Perhaps you notice her tummy poofing out a little and maybe her thighs are a tad bigger. If you have any kind of tact you will not point this out to her! Believe me we know when we are bigger and feel bad that we give in to our unhealthy cravings. Another thing you may not want to say is "are you wearing that?" A more acceptable approach would be " You look great in Gray!" You may want to suggest getting some Chinese or Mexican take out and coming back home to watch a DVD. Your gal will probably be thankful she didn't have to dress up in an outfit she couldn't fit into anyway.

Let her relax
Let her relax

Your Girlfriend is a slug

 You may notice a slight decrease in activity during this time of the month. She will not be old perky self when you ask her to do you a favor.  So do yourself a favor and don't ask her.  In fact shock her by helping her with household chores she usually does.  Vacuum or do laundry or whatever it is that she usually takes on.  And don't be  a showboat about it.  Guys usually liked rewarded for every little thing they do.  Trust me she will notice and be thankful!

Danger! Danger!
Danger! Danger!

Moody and Irritable

Ok So my boyfriend's suggestion was to go hunting or fishing for three or four days during that time of the month. He says if you don't hunt or fish then start! Sorry Guys there is very little we can do about the irritability factor. And you are going to be the target of it! Just because you are there! Just remember to take out the trash and pick up your socks and for goodness sake please put the toilet seat down!  Some acceptable things to say " Yes Honey I know it is all my fault"


Purple Minion Syndrome!

I thought the purple minions from the movie Despicable Me were a perfect example of PMS. I can often relate to the purple Minion! Jumping up and down, irritable and eating everything in sight! I bet I could even pull off purple! Some days my boyfriend does not know what to do! ( and looks a little like the yellow minion above) Maybe we should rename it purple minion syndrome!

Additional Tips

Here are some additional tips from the Blog Ultimate Men's Guide to surviving a PMS Woman

  • DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
  • SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left. .
  • SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
  • ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
  • DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
  • SAFER: I hope you didn’t overdo today
  • SAFEST: I’ve always loved you in that robe!
  • ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate

On behalf of women everywhere I hope you found this helpful and will employ these techniques the next time you encounter a hormonal charged argument! You can arm yourself with chocolate and compliments.. but the best cure of all is the simplest.  Sometimes all it takes is one " I love you" to make it all better.


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    • Cymbelline profile image

      Cymbelline 6 years ago from Cebu City, Philippines

      Luckily, not all women will react as harshly while having their monthly visitor. Some of these effects have been wildly exaggerated in media. Thanks for the tips! :)

    • Plastic Soldier profile image

      Plastic Soldier 6 years ago from Cheshire England

      A wife and two daughters I'll use your advice

    • profile image

      Raven 7 years ago

      As a woman I know I can be extra hard on my Husband when it's that time of the month! (Sorry babe!:-) Great article! Just found another site with some pretty funny pms stories... Don't know how many times me and my hubby have both said FU PMS!! lol

    • profile image

      Chris 7 years ago

      My wife's PMS got so bad that I used to go into Found a book called The PMS (Please Make Sense) Guide for Men. Well worth getting and reading!!! I don't hide as often and it even helped my wife with her PMS. Got it at

    • profile image

      Tobie 7 years ago

      All I can say is, it's really hard to deal with my girl when her Cycle is around the corner.

    • profile image

      The Razors Edge 8 years ago

      Awesome hub. I usually find a nice hiding spot until the storm is over

    • Ms Chievous profile image

      Tina 8 years ago from Wv

      Jessica.. Glad you liked it. Thanks for visiting

    • profile image

      Jessica Jones 8 years ago

      Heh heh, this made me smile:-) I always crave pasta when I've got PMS.

    • MAYRAPINK profile image

      MAYRAPINK 8 years ago from texas

      lol this is the first hub to actually keep me laughing all throughout! I have never been one to love chocolate but your "dangerous-safer-safest-ultrasafe" tips are hilarious with the chocolate comments! Awesome job!

    • megs78 profile image

      megs78 8 years ago from quebec

      Hilarious! Good hub. I have found that a Pamprin a day a week before does wonders for my moods. Just another tip for all the women going through PMS...oh yeah and the men too. :)