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The New Rules After Meeting Her: When Should I Call Her?

Updated on April 18, 2010
Getting to the first kiss
Getting to the first kiss

 I'm going to be up front with you. The old rules about calling women have died.

You no longer need to wait three days before calling her after meeting her.

You do have to have completed these tasks when you first met her, however.

1. You must have spoken with her for longer than two minutes.

2. You must have heard her use your name, either in your conversation or when you left her.

3. There must have been some physical contact, and even the slightest contact will count, such as moving in close to her to say/whisper something in her ear.

If all you got from her was her email address, and this is a new rule, you must email her the next day and ask her for her phone number so you can talk with her. Remember, email is not instant, like a phone conversation, and you cannot convey emotions or hear in her voice if she is excited and interested in you. Once you have her phone number call her two or three hours later, to the latest being 7:00pm that same night.

Calling a woman you have just met is often the most pressure a guy will feel, right up to the first date and this is natural.

So don't freak out about it.

If you need conversation advice, then this is it, in a nutshell:

Safe topics to talk about include work, where you live, movies and shows on TV.

Bad topics to talk about include friends (even if you have some in common), family (because often it's bad family issues that pop into the conversation, which is very bad) and any other topic that starts to turn in a negative conversation.

If the conversation starts to turn into a negative rant simply say to her "Can we talk about fun stuff, please?" and move the conversation forward into fun conversation topics.

You don't want "soap opera" phone conversations. You don't want to be the shoulder that she cries on, you want to be the guy that stands up to her, the guy that is the strength  and fun person in her life, not her therapist.

If you have followed these steps, you're ready to date her and, more importantly, she's ready to date you.


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    • Lyzzizzle profile image


      8 years ago from Nashville, TN

      I gotta say, if I gave a guy my e-mail address and he asked for my phone number the next day, I'd be kind of creeped out. For the simple reason that, if I gave him my e-mail instead of my number, I may not WANT to talk to him on the phone yet, and might need more time talking in person and getting to know him.

      And if the conversation started turning negative and the guy said, "Can we talk about fun stuff, please?", I'd probably be offended. Instead of interrupting a serious conversation so abruptly, I think it would be better to ease it into a mutual conclusion, and THEN talk about happier subjects.

    • R Pseudomen profile imageAUTHOR

      Robert Lee 

      8 years ago from Canada

      Teens have it hard but with this evolution in communication many older men are confused and unsure what is the right way to speak with women without seeming needy or freakish.

      I only want to offer direction where it's needed as the rules of phone calls, texting, tweeting, friending and all the other communication tools we have make it hard to know what the proper "next move" is without scaring the woman off.

      Right guys?

    • Chris Eddy111 profile image

      Chris Eddy111 

      8 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Who makes these rules and where are they written,lol? I guess this is all for the teenage crowd then.


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