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The Nice Guy Vs. the Bad Boy in Winning Women’s Interest

Updated on May 24, 2017
Ben716 profile image

An expert in relationship matters, the following are articles which I've written which touch upon relationship issues.

We all know it. The Internet is full of it. They know who to run to. The nice guys feel it’s not fair. It is a fact women – majority of them – run after tough boys, the bad boys. The tough guys enthrall them. They cannot seem to get enough of the bad boys. What makes bad boys so mesmerizing that women seem to bypass nice guys? It is how they are treated which differs from how they are treated by nice guys.

The Bad Boys

They are physically more attractive than nice guys. Look at their wardrobe. Look at their hair style, their fashion consciousness enthralls women than the nice guy’s sense of fashion. They work hard to ensure their first impression works out. Women are attracted to attractive men. No wonder bad boys score high in winning women to their side.

They are fun to be with. They like adventures. They like thrills. They will take women to exotic places for a date out. They will do ‘crazy’ things which women are attracted to. They will buy their ladies loads of gifts. A bad boy’s life can be summarized as a life of adventure and surprises. As such, they are unpredictable. You can never tell what next he will do.

They are challenging. Bad boys know if you want to win women, why not let them chase you? The more you keep a good distance the more a woman will run to keep up the pace. They love challenge. They like to be challenged. This is why even if the lady knows the bad boy is not good for her, she’ll still chase after him. Why? The challenge!

They are charming. They have a way of casting a spell on women. Through their hard work of looking attractive coupled with sweet words, women cannot resist getting attached to them. Urban Dictionary clearly defines the word charming as: “Someone who is romantic but yet so spontaneous. Someone who is so sweet but yet aggressive. Someone who’s just present to be with and look at.”


They seek out. Always seeking. Even if they have a girlfriend they will seek another, and possibly another one. It is very hard to see a bad boy settling with a woman for long. Even if he settles with a woman, he will be 'seeing' another one. Hardly do many bad boys stay for long in a relationship.

They don’t ask. They get it. No permission. This turns ladies ‘on.’ The way they do it, the lady will long for it to continue on. They never ask. They permit themselves. Not like nice guys. They ask for permission.

They speak as it is. They are never afraid what others may think of them. They never fear if they will hurt someone as long as they think what they intend to say is true and nothing but dear truth. They will not hesitate to tell their lady they don’t like her. It is not in telling the woman they don’t like her but the manner in which they tell her and the choice of words they use to tell her so. A nice guy will start from afar off to reach to the point. A bad boy says out-rightly he doesn’t like the woman. A nice guys tries to find the best words to use not to hurt a woman in an inhumane way.


Lastly, it can be summed up their attitude makes women chase after them, and stick with them. Their daring attitude. Their I-don’t-care attitude. Their I-am-the-rules-book. Never mind the woman is fully aware of how rebellious, stubborn, hard-headed plus other attitudes associated with the dark personality. The lady will put up with his behavior in order to be with him. Fantasies? Maybe! Romantic novels don’t miss an alpha male, the bad boy. The muscular man. This is another reason why women chase after them. They want the bad boy as depicted in the romantic novels.


  1. They put on a show. First impression. Hide their true identity. In time their true identity starts manifesting. Will a woman like it? Some, Yes. Others, No.
  2. When a woman rejects them, they don’t care. They will go to another potential prize. Don’t be amazed if you receive nasty comments when you have rejected them.
  3. They take risks. They stick to their own rules. They know how to survive in a society as they have developed survival skills. This is due to the fact majority of them have antisocial personality behaviors.
  4. They can be trusted to protect their women. They are muscular. They have big bodies. They are strong. They work out. Don’t dare ‘play’ with their lady.
  5. Theirs is final. You either accept or hit the road. They don’t give a crap in many occasions to what you say or mean. They tend to operate in their own world. As such they like boosting their ego. I will not be astonished if as a male they ‘steal’ your girlfriend. They’re pretty good at this.
  6. Hyperbole. Exaggeration. Sweet words. They are good when it comes to talking to women. They get women interested in them in seconds. They have really perfected their charms

Does it mean bad boys are bad at all? No. It is some of their traits aren’t good. There is the positivist side of them as is the case with every other human being.


The Nice Guys

They are nice. They are polite. They don’t force. They let the laws of nature take their due course. They don’t demand neither do they accept a return for their generosity. They esteem your worth. They treat you as equal – a human being deserving respect like other human beings. They tolerate you unlike bad guys who can get really fed up with your very quickly. They don’t do things without involving you. They treat you with utmost respect. They are predictable but not all of them. Some are mysterious though the bad boys are the most mysterious. They don’t make unnecessary demands as they are not domineering. They respect you for who you are. They take time to get to know you. They won’t make you feel inferior.

It is imperative to note each personality type has its points of strengths and weaknesses. We cannot point fingers at the bad boys neither should we look down on the nice guys. The world has conditioned them as so. It is up to each person to work out in any areas that need strengthening and to strengthen the more the areas one possesses strength.

The Beef

The ‘beef’ arises whereby the saying goes, ‘The good guys finish last.’ After the charming of a bad boy wears out, women begin looking for a good guy. A few will go on looking for another adventure, a bad boy. As a result, many good guys feel they should change their traits and begin including traits of a bad boy. Is it okay? Nah! As is the case with men so it is with women. There are nice ladies and bad girls.

The nice guys shouldn’t feel they lack attributes to win women to their side. You cannot force a girl to like you. Then, you might need to consider women are attracted to bad boys for other various reasons. Consider, a bad boy reminds the woman of his father. She wants a man who is close or replicates the exact behavior of her father who was (or is) a role figure to her. She fantasies what she has read in romantic novels with real life. There are a myriad of reasons. Nice guys shouldn’t blame themselves. They should find ways of trying to win a woman to their side. They should not go to extreme.

They may emulate the good behaviors of the bad boys but it is not necessary. The important thing is learning the psychology of women. A man is a hunter, therefore, he should know more about the prey he is about to hunt. In addition, they should be careful which women they should date. Dating women out of their league will see them out of the door. They should find women they will be comfortable with. Being nice still has its place in the world. The only disadvantage that arises is when one carries a good thing to the extreme. Being too polite, too nice isn’t good. Some changes are needed.

Nice guys finish last. It is not a bad saying though in its entirety is not true. Nice guys should watch out being treated as a door mat.

Nice Guys Vs Bad Boys

Bottom Line

The bottom line is not the bad boys are better at winning a woman’s heart or interest than a nice guy but what you need to do in order to attract women. You don’t have to be bad to attract a woman’s heart. Study women as you would study a novel. Get to know women. Try to get inside the minds of women. Once you do so you will know which steps to undertake in order to get a woman to be your lover for life. Be nice but don’t be too nice. However, this goes without saying there is so much that is ‘hyped’ about nice guys that isn’t true.

All the hype you need to imitate bad boys is an advice you shouldn’t take. Be yourself. Learn more about women and you will be able to tune a lady and she will accept you as her man for life. Take it I am also a nice guy on the extreme side of this personality. I have dated several ladies both the tough and the nice. It is not every woman who likes to be with a bad boy, the same case with not every woman who wants to be with a nice guy. And, nice guys don’t finish last. Look around and you will see that fact.


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    • Ben716 profile image

      Alianess Benny Njuguna 4 months ago from Kenya

      Thank you Agathe and yes, I agree with you same with Dashingscorpio. I have noticed the example your provided in the first paragraph. It is true we want to pursue someone who is challenging. We find things that come easily are cheap and Agathe, I Agathe I get you.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 4 months ago

      Very interesting!

      You ever notice "nice guys" and "nice girls" never seem to want to pursue each other? He wants the "hot cheerleader" and she wants "the captain of the football team".

      Essentially neither wants anyone they could readily have.

      A lot of young women do go through a "bad boy" phase.

      Their motto seems to be:

      "We ignore those who adore us and adore those who ignore us."

      You could stick such a woman in a room with 5 guys and have four them drop to their knees extending their heart out towards her while the 5th guy sits in a corner sipping on a cocktail acting as if she does not exist.

      That will be the guy she wants to get to know!

      He's a mystery, a challenge, she needs to prove to herself that she could get him, and if it turns out other women are into him it just makes her want to pull out all of the stops to (win) him.

      The "bad boy" keeps women "guessing" about how he feels about them so women tend to walk on eggshells as to not risk doing or saying anything that might cause him to dump them.

      Instead of complaining to (him) they bend the ear of the nice guy who they put in their "friend zone".

      As Agathe stated a lot of girls are attracted to the "confidence" of "bad boys" which oftentimes borders on arrogance. They don't come across as timid, insecure, or needy.

      In fact "bad boys" do almost {the complete opposite} of what women "claim" they want from men and it attracts them!

      It's only after a series of heartaches and disappointments that these women will give a "nice guy" a chance. Even then it's a "practical decision" and not an "emotional one".

      Deep down while they're married to Mr. Good Enough they'll still be fantasizing about the "bad boy" who made their heart skip a beat. He's the one who wouldn't "change" for them or give them what they wanted. He "took" all she had to give and never showed her an ounce of gratitude. She wonders what more she could have done to (earn) his love and devotion.

      In the mean time the "nice guy" follows her around like a little puppy dog worshiping the ground she walks on.

      According to all the relationship experts books she now has everything a woman should want in a man and yet she's unhappy.

      In order for a woman to truly love a "nice guy" she has to (love herself) enough to believe that men should be good to her without her having to jump through any hoops!

      Most girls who are into "bad boys" didn't have a father in the household or if he was there he didn't make them feel special.

    • Agathe L profile image

      Agathe L 4 months ago

      I think women are more attracted to bad boys because they are confident. Also, people want what they can't have. Bad boys get over girls easily so girls might feel like they have something valuable. Do you get it? The more you have to protect it, the more you feel like it's valuable. My friend dated a bad guy before and she kept coming to him, times and times again. She just can't get over him while he can. But I think not every girls like bad boys, there is always an exception. Nice hub! I enjoy reading it. You made good points. Best of luck to you.