- Gender and Relationships»
Marriages...Not What It Use Be.
It's been a while since I've written a blog. Not going to lie...I missed it! I wanted to do it on something interesting. Then I got a great idea. I'm going to do it on marriages! The best evidence that people can find on marraiges starting is said to be about 4,350 years ago. So many years this beautiful tradition has been going on (Ya, I listen to Coldplay when I write.). Yet, I feel in recent years it's losing its meaning. People are doing it for the wrong reasons. Rushing in to the marriage because they saw the movie "Runaway Bride" and force their b/f to go out there and get her a ring, a close friend has got married so they (they meaning you women) has to get married because she doesn't want to be the last one of her friends to be single, and the famous "I'm pregnant, so GUESS WE GOTTA GET MARRIED!". Divorce rates are just as high as Tommy Chong (the guy from Cheech and Chong jack ass). I will be covering it all and my opinions on this matter...ready...break!
Ultimate WORST reason to get married
Ya...I'm going there. You're wearing that white dress with your belly sticking out in the middle of the aisle. It's your day! You're the princess. Wait. You're pregnant, so that makes you the queen? Your baby is the princess? Hell! Might even be a prince (you get where I'm going with this right?). Just like everyone knows why they're at the church for your wedding, "This chick gets prego and I gotta pay 200 dollars for her wedding because her parents don't wanna make it seem like she's a whore?" This is the WORST,DUMBEST,AWFUL,CRAPPY reason to get married! Ok, lets look at the possibilities. You're pregnant. Call your boyfriend. Sit down and talk like adults (you guys are banging like them why not sit and actually talk like them?) make a game plan for you two and that beautiful child that is about to experience the greatest gift in the world...life. It is OK to live together and not have a ring on your finger and see how it works. Get married for love...not for a mistake.
These are different times we can now live together at age of 23 and the woman is not considered a witch (unless if the people judging you are from the Middle East or my grandma...she's really old school Portuguese). If you guys live together and it doesn't work. Guess what? You guys go your separate ways. Split days on having the baby. ACTUALLY end up being with someone who does love you and will love your baby because your baby is your greatest gift and if he/she loves you...they'll make it work.
Now, I'm not saying EVERY couple that have gotten married because they're pregnant fail miserably. They don't. I'm talking about the guy and girl who weren't sure if they were a couple, were having unprotected sex (it is way better then with a condom), she misses her period. BOOM! WE GOTTA GET MARRIED! I'M PREGNANT! Like I said before WORST,DUMBEST,AWFUL,CRAPPY reason to be married. There have been couples who've been together for a long time and this mistake happens and it just makes them realize "I do love this person, I do want to be with this person for the rest of my life, I'm ready". Then they get two gifts. Marrying their best friend and being a parent.
Another DUMB Reason To Get Married
Rushing/Forcing A Marriage-
I hear so many stories of guys having a dead line to get married. You know who gave the world a dead line that it would end in 2012...Nostradamus. Don't be Nostradamus and make your b/f nervous and jittery because he's not sure if he wants to end his life with you. You keep forcing it and mentioning it and he's going to disappear into a bomb shelter (OK, enough comparison's with marriage and end of the world.). Guys do it too. They want to play catch with their "son" (us guys when we picture having a kid...it's always a boy). So when we're in a committed relationship guys bug their g/fs that they wanna be a dad and put pressure on their g/fs. Being a dad is what most guys want to do. Why do you think we go to the gym and "creep" when we're at the clubs. Ya, we want to "get it in", but out of the 3 girls we meet. 1 might just stand out. Few years in the future. Bells are ringing, you're kissing that girl. 9 months later. You got that boy! (Woo, testosterone!). This whole game thing everyone does at the bars is for that grand prize...the wedding day. We don't think it, but ya never know when you might meet the right person.
There is no need to rush...AT ALL! You have to be mature and realize that the person you are dating loves you and won't leave your side. You can't force someone a decision. If you guys truly love each other, you will have that beautiful wedding. This is a big decision for both parties, so don't let one party bash the other. Don't get me wrong. If you guys are 27 and been dating for 3 years. You better have that talk and tell him/her "What it is hoe? You putting a rang on this finger?" (If you pictured a black person saying that...you are SO racist.).
Divorce and Divorce Rates
Divorce has been relatively rising, but it did lower from the high numbers of the baby boomers. Still, the way we're catching up. We can easily get to 50%, just as easily as I know when I go to the mall I'm going to eye down the Cinnabon place for 15 minutes. People now don't really fight for the marriage. It's a few arguments and , "Ahh, I can't be with you! You're not the same person.". Divorce. You guys then even split the money as if a marriage gets a refund. Go your separate ways and "ON TO THE NEXT ONE!" (Jay-Z voice). Like the next guy/chick is gonna be easier! Divorce rates for people who get married 3 times have no luck and it statistic prove the point I am talking about right now. First marriage 41%. Second 60%. Third 73%. Chhh'ya! I know! Lookie here:
- Divorce Rate : Divorce Rate In America
Information on divorce and the divorce rate in America.
If you get get divorced under the age of 20 your percentage is 39.3% (Women 27.6% . Men 11.7%.). Divorce between the ages of 20-24 is 75.4% (Women 36.6%. Men 38.8%). Now, look at the census as the age groups get older and TOTALLY MATURE AND NOT RUSHING AND FORCING TO GET MARRIED (Lawyer'd). Ages of 25-29...38.7% (Women 16.4%. Men 22.3%). Ages of 30-34...20.1% (Woman 8.5%. Men 11.6%). Ages of 35-39...11.6% (Women 5.1%. 6.5% Men.). Yup, men totally lead most of those age groups. Whatever, at least we don't bleed once a month. Boom! Most we have to worry about is flossing. These stats totally just proved my point what I said before, so I'm going to just say it again...lawyer'd.
- Divorce Statistics
Other cool site with excellent divorce statistics.
Just Kind of a Romeo and Juliet Story
There definitely isn't a lot of romantic stories out there, but when you hear one. It's always very nice to hear that it only doesn't happen in the "Notebook" or "P.S. I Love You" (Okay...Ya, I watched P.S. I Love You! I'm PRETTY sure I've told you in an older blog...if not. Ehem.). It's about my grandparents, my dads side. They met very young and got married very young (20 years old.) My grandma had my dad at the age of 21. Before all of this marriage and pregnancy thing (ew, nana!). My grandma and grandpa NEVER talked in person. Some eye glances when my grandfather would walk by my grandma's house and she'd be at the window waiting for my grandfather. They'd say hey to each other and it'd be the highlight of their day. My grandpa went to the war and somehow he got the courage to write letters to my grandma. My grandma would receive them, but here's the thing she didn't know how to read (My grandma is OLD SCHOOL Portuguese. She is the oldest of 4 children and had to take care of them and choirs of the house. Ya...really Portuguese.).
My godmother (youngest sister of my grandma) would read and write the letters for my grandma (Oh...ya my nana doesn't know how to write neither). Seriously, some Walt Disney kind of stuff right!? They got married and their first kiss was at their wedding. Years go by. My father is already living in the states. My great grandmother has a stroke. Her left side is completely paralyzed. As my grandma being the only daughter still in Portugal (both my aunts were in the U.S.. I had a Uncle, but it's Portugal. The daughter is going to take care of the mom.). My grandfather wasn't feeling himself. He goes to the doctor an the doctor diagnosis him with Parkinson's. He comes home and tells my grandmother. The obvious...some waterfalls occur. Days go by, my grandfather (Silly me. His name was Leonel.) tells my grandmother (Again Steve! Natalia) it's not fair for her to be taking care of two people. It's too much for her and him.
My dad the last week my grandfather was alive was going to visit him. To see how he was feeling and my grandma told my dad the things grandpa was saying. My dad thinks my grandfather did it before he could see him, but my grandfather took his own life. Right on the week my dad was going to see him. Just because he couldn't bare knowing he wasn't going to help financially and for the rest of his life he wouldn't be the same person. Just another person my grandma has to help change with my great grandma. That's love. To bare not to be the person you were when you met the love of your life. Knowing it'd be more of a help if you'd pass away, your will and money you both saved up could help so much more. It's just...crazy shit.
Marry your best friend. Do it when you feel it's right. A lot of people in the census of divorces did feel it was right when they got married, but sometimes in life you get it wrong and you go on with life. Remember that it's a beautiful gift in life. To create a family and teach your child all the things you've learned and more is angelic. As well as to sharing it with someone you consider a best friend is magical. The shit you'll see together. Be even cooler if you guys had super powers!! (I smell a sitcom!). Do I wanna get married? Of course. Sometimes I act like a total bad ass and say, "chya right!" that's because I watched "Die Hard" the night before. I do, I'd love to be the father my dad was an more. I am just NOOOO where close to that.
It's the Summer time too! Steve that wants a relationship is gone! Holiday season it gets lonely and it's fucking cold too, so I cuddle by myself and drink hot cocoa by myself. Shits depressing, but Summer time comes and WOOO!!!!! I wanna play sports and go out and pick up girls like the "Night of the Roxbury" guys. Thanks for reading. PS. Comedians can totally be sensitive too!