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The Only Good Heterosexual Is A Dead Heterosexual!

Updated on January 13, 2010


Do I believe the title of this blog entry? Of course not, some of my best friends are straight people (or as I call them, “straightees”) why even my parents are straight (if you can believe that) but the above phrase is something that has been used about almost every minority and a recent a posting on one of my Forty-Something video blogs got me thinking, what if white straightees (by which the standard of America is judged and modeled) had to endure what we do as homosexuals, as Jews, as black, as Hispanics, as…well anyone who wasn’t heterosexual and white? The only good heterosexual is a dead heterosexual! – Don’t Get Me Started!

In my video blogs I decided to do a series on gay icons, people who weren’t all gay but that influenced many gays and became cultural icons to us gays of a certain age. One of those entries is on Cary Grant who was loved by men, women, and children and as we all know, the camera. (See that video here… In response to this video, what I can only assume is a woman, as she has the word, “girl” in her online YouTube screen name, wrote the following:

Do you have any idea how much this title scared me. I absolutley love Cary Grant and if he was gay I wouldn't be able to stand him. You have allowed my soul to rest in peace


Ignore for a moment that she can’t spell the word, “absolutely” or use a question mark  (I’ve often written just how funny I think it is that most of the time when people leave negative comments they have no idea how to spell or use grammar) but what got me crazed about this comment is not only her “relief” at the fact that Cary Grant was by all accounts, not gay but that even though she uses a photo of him for her icon on her profile  and obviously likes his work, she wouldn’t be able to “stand him” suddenly if she thought that he had slept with men (which would have taken place some forty plus years ago since he’s been dead since 1986). Never mind how dumb this “girl” is for her comments, there are plenty more people out there who I’m sure feel the same way, yet it’s another wonderful double standard we have in this country. While some straightees are allowed to be openly repulsed by us gays, we gays seem to never be able to do the same without being told we’re just being ridiculous because after all, sex between opposite sexes is natural, for creation and a beautiful thing, not an abomination like gay sex.

So here’s a short list of straightees who disgust me:

Woody Allen – who slept with and married his much younger basically stepdaughter

Roman Polanski – who raped a 13 year old but because it was so many years ago and he gave her wine, it’s suddenly now okay in so many people’s eyes

Mel Gibson – the drunken Jew hater who has reproduced like he’s trying to keep up with those straightee cult-seeming Duggars from TLC who also scare and disgust the crap out of me

Jon Gosselin – I can’t imagine that’s a dick to write home about once you’ve sat on it, which so many girls have apparently

The entire cast of Jersey Shore (boys and girls) – no explanation needed

The thing is that we gays are seen as some sort of freak of nature supposedly making a “choice” like our hair color or something to have sex with the same sex. I knew I was gay from the time I was born basically so don’t tell me it’s a choice. And don’t tell me if I just slept with a woman it would change everything because I have and it didn’t. Some gays try to say, “Hey, just because I sleep with guys doesn’t mean I’m not just like you.” Thanks to this wonderfully bigoted and full of hate society, we gays just aren’t the same as you straight people and do you know why? Because just like any other minority that is shoved down in America by the straightee whitees, we have to work harder, be smarter and overcome greater obstacles just to get close to be on an even playing field with our straight, white counterparts. We’re still not there on a lot of issues but if you think I’m going to stand idly by and let some “girl” or anyone else get away with their bigoted bullshit in my presence (whether it be in person or on the web) you are mistaken. So here’s to the continued gay uprising for equality. While some may think our slogan should be, “We do more than hair we’re just like you straightees.” I think our slogan should come from The Elephant Man (changed a bit), “I not an animal, I am a fabulous human being.” And don’t Rosa Parks me and think I’m going to sit at the back of the bus either. And do I think all heterosexuals are like this and need this lesson, no, but until things start to change, I’m going to treat all of you straightees like so many straights treat us gays, lumping us together like bad mashed potatoes. The only good heterosexual is a dead heterosexual! – Don’t Get Me Started!

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