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Be Aroused, but not with Anger

Updated on August 3, 2011

We are all human and naturally at some point we will get angry about something or someone. I got angry recently and in annoyance left my bra behind. You can read more on that later in the article.

The saying goes: “For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” ~ Ralph Emerson.


Lets look at the Perils of anger, so next time before we get angry, it might help us think twice

1) We can hurt people emotionally with our words - particularly those we care for. Even if we apologise later, those words will still echo in their ears and it can affect them negatively. E.g tell a lady in anger, "I don’t know why I married you, you look awful". Confidence issues will set in.

2) You could lose someone precious or something precious. E.g some partners would walk out on a relationship or it might even lose a Job. Some customers can be a pain in the backside, but staff always have to be professional and not insult them too because The customer is always right. Staff who lose their temper with customers, in most cases get fired.

3) Bad Health – Some people, particularly the elderly have heart attacks or chest problems when they get all angry and worked up. For some it brings on a bad Migraine. "A decision made in anger is never sound." Ford Frick.


✰♡*•˛❤˛•*♡✰ ✰♡*•˛❤˛•*♡✰✰♡*•˛❤˛•*♡✰ ✰♡*•˛❤˛•*♡✰✰♡*•˛❤˛•*♡✰ ✰♡*•


4) Bad Decisions – Never make a decision when you are angry. Above, I noted being angry and leaving a bra behind. Well, I bought it took it home, then realised it wasn’t a good fit, so I kept it where I keep my perfumes, aromatic scenting candles etc. I took it back for a refund the next day but they wouldn’t refund me because they said it smelt of perfume. I was so angry and decided to leave it there and just walked out of the shop. However, on my way home I was kicking myself, I could have given it to a friend. Sometimes it could even be driving. If you drive while angry, you could make mistakes or even get a fine for over-speeding.

5) Kids Copy – It’s natural for kids to copy adults. If a kid see’s his dad beating his mum, in many cases those kids grow up and do the same thing to their partners. Also: it’s not a good idea to swear in front of kids.

A famous American Actor was being interviewed by Alan Carr on UK TV. He admitted to swearing a lot around his maybe 3 or 4 year old daughter. He said if you gave his child food, she’d look at it and say “what is that sh*t?” She thought it was normal to say that. I saw the funny side. Hey, no parent is perfect.


6) Anger robs you of good looks. No matter how beautiful or handsome you really are, when you seeth in anger, it doesn’t look nice on the face.

7) Bad Karma. Anger attracts bad karma, negative Vibes. Even Angels would walk away.

How can we avoid it?

a) A Soft Answer - If people are angry with us and shout at us. We could either keep quiet or answer them in a low soft tone. If we raise our voice, things will escalate but if we speak calmly, it has an effect of calming the situation. “ A soft answer, turneth away Wrath” Proverbs.

b) Not making assumptions - Just because you found an earring in your husband’s car doesn’t mean he is having an affair. There could be a very good reason for it. Maybe he gave an elderly friend a lift. Also, just because your girl friend is having small talk with the Postman doesn't mean she is flirting.

c) Be calm, count back from 20 or maybe take a long walk somewhere.

d) Go for Anger Management. (Useful Website Below)


(Sometimes, anger can be good. E.g Being angry at yourself for not doing well in a competition or take. But this motivates one to do better)


Finally, I leave you with some Anger Quotes to ponder over...

** If you kick a stone in anger, you'll hurt your own foot. ~ Korean Proverb

** Always write angry letters to your enemies. Never mail them. ~ James Fallows

** I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to. ~ Author Unknown

** The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk. ~ Jacqueline Schiff

** Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. ~ Ambrose Bierce



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    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 5 years ago

      Lady E , I have such a calm disposition that I have often wondered from where it comes, Oh , I feel frustration more than anger at media , government..etc. But anger serves no purpose at all. you should also hub attitude , In the American culture it has become the norm to "have an attitude" , this is where I could lose my calm.....dealing with attitude! i swear I could really lose it in dealing with hub.... By the way , I thought 'be aroused ,but not with anger ' was going somewhere else!

    • profile image

      de-mck 5 years ago

      Built up anger only give one a feeling of displeasure either to things or people around. But what baffles me mostly is how can compromise happiness for anger

    • platinumOwl4 profile image

      platinumOwl4 5 years ago

      Hello Lady_E, I am always awaiting your next article, they are really thought provoking.

      have a good one

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 5 years ago from London, UK

      ** Ahorseback - You have such a lovely quality. It's good to have that especially in these times when the economies have made so many people touchy. It's a pity people now think it's better to have an "attitude". About the Hub Title, I initially called it Perils of Anger which shows in the URL link then thought there must be 1001 articles with that title, so I checked some Synonyms & "aroused" Thanks :)

      ** de-mck - Good question. Thanks so much for stopping and sharing that.

      ** PlatinumOwl - Thanks so much. Glad you stopped by.

    • Mentalist acer profile image

      Mentalist acer 5 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

      Don't worry,everybody be happy,or at least quietly cynical:

      You may not be able to access this over there Lady_E:(

    • ejazahmed2609 profile image

      ejazahmed2609 5 years ago from Abu Dahbi, UAE

      No doubt you are always written a valuable hub. Above hub is also an informative and useful and you have shared such a niche quotes about anger. thanks

    • Mahesh Kamal profile image

      Mahesh Kamal 5 years ago

      I watched your Hubs with care ; always!

    • stars439 profile image

      stars439 5 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

      Being a police officer, and working in many violent situations,I learned long ago that anger robs a human being of wonderful quality happiness. Anger is only and emotion, but too much of it is a sign of a problem I believe. God Bless you for this very important hub dear heart.

    • saddlerider1 profile image

      saddlerider1 5 years ago

      Like stars I to am in the enforcement field, however quelling the situation and dealing with it on a soft approach calm professional level I find will often defuse the situation. Getting angry, yelling and screaming or talking down to someone is not the right approach. Well done Hub, really enjoyed your research. Rated up and awesome.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

      I agree with all the comments, anger never solves anything, only makes it worse. Thank you for a really well written article. I esp. like the quotes.


    • Royalmark profile image

      Royalmark 5 years ago from Lagos, Nigeria

      Here's a lovely comment to this wonderful hub.

      "When I get annoyed and mad, I get a migraine and find it hard to concentrate. Even my sleep is hampered.

      But, today, something unique happened. I locked my wardrobe few minutes to 7am. I had an 8am exam and I forgot my wallet.

      As I turned to pick it from my wardrobe, the lock refused to succumb to the key.

      Long story short, I had to break the lock and I left my wardrobe open for about 5hours before I replaced it with a new lock.

      My roommate always told me that I hissed, sighed and get angry when things don't go my way or when I face an obstacle.

      But, today he complimented me and said that I've really changed, that how can I possibly be smiling despite my problem.

      I just laughed it off."

      Thanks for sharing, Lady Elena.

    • profile image 5 years ago

      great quotes LadyE - with anger I always remember too that the other side to anger is sadness - people's anger often hides a sadness

    • Neil Sperling profile image

      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      Excellent - anger, judgement, old traditions, guilt.. all things that rob all of love and happiness... I appreciate you!!!!!

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 5 years ago from South Africa

      Lady_E, your list of THE PERILS OF ANGER is so precise and important I’ve got to vote this hub up in all possible ways. I also believe if I list it here (again) on your behalf, Google will not be able to miss it. It belongs on the first page.

      Your list of the perils of anger: We can hurt people emotionally with our words; We could lose someone precious or something precious; We put our health at risk; We make bad decisions; We are bad examples of adults, while children are copy-cats; We make ourselves look ugly and unattractive; We attract bad karma and negative vibes.

      I can confirm that I’ve done all seven of them more than once. The few times I’d lost my temper I had changed my path-of-life. Perhaps it was meant to be and maybe it was the better way, but the regrets because I’d done those perils will always torture me.

      Voted up and awesome!

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 5 years ago from United States

      Great hub. Averting anger using some of your suggestions is such a great way of not saying things that can't be forgotten even if they are forgiven. I really enjoyed your hub.

    • profile image

      ladyt11 5 years ago

      Another thought provoking, great hub! I like this.

    • profile image

      dreamreachout 5 years ago

      Elena, its a great virtue to maintain composure at all cost but not everyone can do that!! Your hub is essentially important in that respect and we get reminded on controlling our anger!! Its also to be remembered that anger doesn't solve the problem but only enhances it while its cool composure that makes things settle!!

      Best wishes and cheers!! :)

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 5 years ago from London, UK

      ** Aaawh Mentalist Acer - I don't like the way Youtube restrict videos. Anyway, glad you stopped by and hope the other readers enjoy it.

      ** EjazAhmed - thanks for dropping by to share that.

      ** Mahesh - Many thanks. I appreciate that. Shuku ria.

      ** Wow Stars439 - You used to be a Police Officer. If anyone gets on my nerves when I travel to America, I'm calling your number. :) Nice of you to stop by.

      ** RoyalMark - That's lovely. It helps keep a clear head and you don't want to write an Exam in Anger. I enjoyed reading that and Good luck again in your exams.

      ** PsychicDog - That's true. Sadness is such a wasted energy. Thanks. Good to see you here.

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 5 years ago from London, UK

      ** Saddlerider - You've changed your Avatar but still look like my favourite Country Singer Kenny Rogers. Own up now.... I know you're related. :) Lots of wise words in your comments particularly about talking down at people, it just makes them more mad. Thanks and Best Wishes.

      ** Hi Ruby, thanks for stopping and I'm glad you enjoyed the Quotes. xx

      ** Thanks Neil - That's true. Happiness and love make us radiate warmth. Cheers, I appreciate you too.

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 5 years ago from London, UK

      Hello Martie

      Thanks so much for sharing your experience. I think everyone is guilty of it, even me but as we grow older we begin to realise the bad effects and deal with it in a better way. Mmmmh... sometimes, even life makes us angry.

      May Life Treat you Kind, Martie.

      Best Wishes.

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 5 years ago from London, UK

      ** Thanks Pamela - I'm glad you enjoyed reading it and appreciate you stopping by.

      ** Ladyt11 - Always a pleasure to read from you. Hope all is well. Thanks for your comments.

      ** Hello Dreamreachout - That's a nice way of putting it "a great Virtue". I learnt some new points in your comment. Glad you stopped by. Thanks so much. Best Wishes. :)

    • manthy profile image

      Mark 5 years ago from Alabama,USA

      I voted this up & useful - That is what I expect when I read one of your hubs

      You are the best


    • profile image

      paulgc 5 years ago

      Hello Lady_E, very interesting article. If calm is Yang then anger must be Ying, unfortunately the one cannot exist without the other. Anger is necessary in certain situations and your wonderful article serves to remind us that controlling unnecessary anger is the way to go.

      Thanks for sharing, voted up and useful.

    • Royalmark profile image

      Royalmark 5 years ago from Lagos, Nigeria

      I'm glad you enjoyed reading that.

      Thanks for the wish. I appreciate.

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 5 years ago from London, UK

      ** Manthy - Aaaawh... thanks so much. I'm really touched by your compliment. Best Wishes. :)

      ** Hi Paul - I like that "Yang and Ying". :) Thanks so much for stopping by.

      ** RoyalMark - Thanks again your Royal Highness. :)

    • acaetnna profile image

      acaetnna 5 years ago from Guildford

      I am so fortunate I think because I cannot remember ever becoming angry. Whatever the incident I seem to manage to be able to consider my reactions. I guess this was instilled in me from a very young age where I was persuaded to count to ten before reacting!

      What a great hub Lady_E as always!

    • sweetie1 profile image

      sweetie1 5 years ago from India

      Hi lady E it is not easy to not take decisions when anger is extreme. we all know what anger can do to your health but unfortunately it is a very strong emotion and not everyone can control it.

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 5 years ago

      Oh my gosh , here I go again, Hi Lady E , and hello Sweety 1 above . Sweety you said "anger is a strong emotion and not everyone can control it", I agree . Hence the invention of a brand new human element , "Impulse control", this is where it all falls apart in the American society ! Far , far too much inability to control ones impulses. Anger , outbursts , verbal attacks on others , children , parents , students , on and on we go! .....Patience should be one of the first and most important virtues taught in the home or schools anywhere! We don't always hear the old sayings anymore"Patience is a virtue" ,......:-}Awesome discussion again.

    • Mansi2512 profile image

      Mansi2512 5 years ago from Bangalore,India

      That was such a beautifully written hub. It was all direct and to the point and to add very much true. The generation of young children have become very influenced by the adults. That's really sad.Voted up :)

    • Taleb80 profile image

      Taleb AlDris 5 years ago


      Thank you for this helpful hub.

      Your words is smoothly understood.

      Sure, I will follow in a while.

      I voted "Awesome"

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 5 years ago from London, UK

      ** Thanks Acaetnna - I'm not surprised. You write so much about Love, so Anger must be very foreign to you. Good to see you. :)

      ** Sweetie - Excellent point. It's a strong emotion. Glad you stopped by.

      ** Ahorseback - Thanks for coming back to share that. It made me think it's one of the priority things I need to instill in my kids, when I become a parent. Wise Words.

      ** Mansi - Thanks so much. I appreciate you stopping by.

      ** Hi Taleb80 - Glad you found it useful. Thanks.

    • Royalmark profile image

      Royalmark 5 years ago from Lagos, Nigeria

      Lol, First Lady :-)

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 5 years ago

      Lady E, Wonderful thought provoking insightful hub on anger! Anger is something that really needs to be managed. It can result in high blood pressure and... The Word tells us "to be angry and sin not!" Ephesians 4. A lot of hurtful words and behaviors are the results of anger! It is not always easy to do but it is important to "Manage your anger..."

      As ahorsehoe stated "Patience is a virtue!" Learning how to control your anger stops others from pushing your buttons like a remote control!

      May the Fruit of the Spirit of the Lord bloom amd blossom witin you!

      As always Thank You for sharing another great hub! In HIS Love Grace, Joy, Peace & Blessings!

    • Alladream74 profile image

      Victor Mavedzenge 5 years ago from Oakland, California

      The title brought me here

      I found not what I thought I would

      Have no fear

      In the end it all turned out good

      No Anger here

    • Support Med. profile image

      Support Med. 5 years ago from Michigan

      Enjoy reading this hub and the quotes!! Ralph Emerson's is really something to think about! Would rather experience being happy than angry anyday. Here are two I would like to share:

      "Anyone can become angry. That is easy. But

      to be angry with the right person, to the right

      degree, at the right time, for the right purpose

      and in the right way... that is not easy."

      -- Aristotle.

      "If you are patient in one moment of anger, you

      will escape a hundred days of sorrow."

      -- Chinese Proverb.

      As for the bra: The store should have been glad it smelled like perfume. At least you did not throw it in the trash and then try to take it back.

      Love the title of this hub! I too thought it would go in a different direction. Glad it did not. Great job! v/r

    • KissTheRain profile image

      KissTheRain 5 years ago

      This was great, thank you!

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 5 years ago from London, UK

      ** DeBorrah - Thanks so much for sharing wise words and a big "Amen" to your prayers. Best Wishes. (Big Hug)

      ** AllaDream - Lol. I like that. :)

      ** SupportMed - Long time, no see, no read. lol. Good to see you. Thanks so much for stopping by to share comments. xx

      ** Thanks Kiss the Rain. (Nice profile name)

    • kittythedreamer profile image

      Nicole Canfield 5 years ago from the Ether

      Lady_E: Great hub. I love your take on the perils of anger. All very good and valid points, especially when it comes to swearing and doing negative/angry things in front of our children. While I believe that arguing/fighting in front of your kids is not good, every once in awhile it's okay to let them see you have an argument because you don't want them to get a false sense of what relationships are. If so, they'll think that arguing never occurs in a marriage, which is just not the truth. At the same time, we must practice being an example for our kids to follow and not go by that phrase "do as i say and not as i do". Voted up and awesome.

    • Jennie Demario profile image

      Venture Boyz 5 years ago from Floating in the clouds

      How many of you gentleman clicked on this hub just because of the picture?? lol.. I have to admin, the rest of the images are pretty sweet too.

      love this quote: For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.

      It is perfect when you have a case of the sunday blues like tonight. Thanks for the good read,

    • profile image

      fashion 5 years ago

      This is a beautifully written hub. It describes the reality.The generation of young children have become very influenced by the adults,so try to control yourself to save your relations at home and outside.

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 5 years ago from London, UK

      ** Thanks Kitty. Very wise words. I appreciate you sharing that.

      ** Jennie - Ha ha... lol. Lovely to see you here and thanks for the comments.

      ** Fashion - Thanks so much.

    • venki_indiain profile image

      Venkat 5 years ago from Chennai

      Great hub and useful

    • Johnathan L Groom profile image

      Johnathan L Groom 5 years ago from Bristol, CT

      elena- I feel like we're related...



    • profile image

      fashion 5 years ago

      Very true hub.Anger makes a man foolish.

      Great work.

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 5 years ago from London, UK

      ** Thanks Venki.

      ** Jonathan - I appreciate you stopping by.

      ** Cheers Fashion. :)

    • Dr Bill Tollefson profile image

      Bill Tollefson 5 years ago from Southwest Florida

      Great HUB! The Perils of Anger are so true. I am sure this information could help a lot of people. People in this world are getting so angry so quick. Hope this HUB helps them to stop and think. Good job!

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 5 years ago from London, UK

      Thanks so much Dr Bill. I hope people stop and think too.

    • Timothy Donnelly profile image

      Timothy Donnelly 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Excellent Hub Lady_E, - both the subject and the content; and yet there is so much more to be said. Thank you for making people THINK before they act! The time alone that passes as we consider the ramifications of acting upon a personal anger, allows us to move around a bit for another perspective not immediately in our sights ... The time that passes also highlights the veracity of the transient nature of our "feelings" of anger, when we focus upon them. There are, in fact much more beautiful things to focus upon in this world, rather than feelings of anger. Alas, if we cannot help but to be angry for a brief time period, we best consider one of the most freeing verses of Holy Scripture, recorded in Ephesians 4: 26 “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath”.

      Rated UP and Useful.

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 5 years ago from London, UK

      Thanks Timothy

      I agree with you, there are much more beautiful things to focus upon in this world. Also, thanks for sharing the verse from Ephesians.

      Best Wishes.

    • GetitScene profile image

      Dale Anderson 4 years ago from The High Seas

      Interesting. Anger is probably the most useless emotion we have, it never produces a good result.

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 4 years ago from London, UK

      @GetitScene - It is Dale. It helps if people have the knowledge of controlling it at an early age in life or else......a lot of damage will be done.

      Thanks for stopping.

    • KatNance profile image

      KatNance 4 years ago

      i enjoyed reading your hub...its reAlly interesting..but OPEN Communication is the key.. I have tried something new..take a 30-45min brake from each other,or just long enough to regather your matter if your yelling or not,, ( NO ONE GETS THE LAST WORD IN) .then when 30 min, 45 mins go by..go talk in a civil matter..if your still mad then go take another 30minss..JUST REMEMBER TO TALK it out and you will have great results in the end ( HMM )

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 4 years ago from London, UK

      Thanks KatNance, excellent tip.

      Thanks for sharing.

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