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The Power Of The GBN (Gay Boy’s Network)

Updated on June 18, 2011

I’ve written before about the fact that if you want good guest service, get a gay (read that blog here… ) but now I’m going to share a secret with you that I’m sure some of you have suspected and I’m going to confirm. You see, we gays do more for other gays than the rest of the human race. Go ahead and call it discrimination because it is but I don’t care because I’ve got the power of the GBN (Gay Boy’s Network) – Don’t Get Me Started!

This is really the only time that being a little bit effeminate works for gays. While it’s normally a tell tale sign for those who persecute and attack gays as well as a repellent for gays who pride themselves on being “straight acting” and want nothing to do with anyone who doesn’t seem as though he would crush a beer can on his forehead and belch a lot, when an effeminate gay meets another effeminate gay there is a kinship you just can’t buy (that often comes with fringe benefits). As I’m writing this I am on a plane. I’m not flying first class (and let me just say that the people who are in first class have little to no class from what I can see but that’s a topic for another day) however I’m three rows behind them, behind the mesh curtain that looks like a cheap costume piece from a knight costume. Okay, back to the point. I went to the restroom in the world of first class and as I went into the restroom I nodded to greet the flight attendant who was servicing first class. Oh believe me when I say I had spotted him when I got on the plane. And while his dazzling diamond wedding band is firmly in place and I have one too, while there was nothing sexual between us there was eye contact and if eyes are truly the windows to our souls, he saw that I was listening to the Carpenters and I saw that he knew how to throw a throw pillow. As I exited the bathroom, there he was about to serve the people in first class whatever it is you serve them and as our eyes met again he said, “Can I get you any of this?” gesturing to the food and beverage of first class like a Price Is Right model. I declined but thanked him politely and went on my way. I have no doubt that I could have walked away with a cocktail or whatever I wanted gratis but let’s face it, the days of glamour and deliciousness on a plane have long since passed us all by. (Okay, so as I’m writing this, the flight attendant in question just came by to pick up garbage and pointed to my watch saying, “Nice watch” in an overly mouthed way as I have my ear buds in listening to Donna Summer – lest you think I’m the garbage he was trying to pick I’m perfectly coiffed and dressed today.)

The GBN doesn’t just work on planes or in person. There have been times when I needed to extend a stay at a hotel or even get a boarding pass printed and delivered and by merely calling the concierge desk and finding someone with a sibilant “s” the world of everything opened to me. It’s fabulous and it’s at the point where I don’t want to talk to anyone but a gay when it comes to needing something like service or a favor from a complete stranger.

Look, we gays have gotten the shaft (watch it boys) more than once when it comes to being able to get married, treated equally as our straight counterparts on a number of issues so why not take care of our own when we can? After all, I’m a Jew too and I can tell you that prior to the whole Bernie Madoff incident this was working for us Jews pretty damn well too. I’m sure the same can be said for other minorities as well. You see, you just have to be discriminated against once for it to be enough and you share a common bond. Why wouldn’t Jews make their own country clubs after being excluded and turned down by all white Christian ones in the 1950’s? I hate to quote Shakespeare again but like Shylock says, “If you strike us down will we not revenge?” We will. So don’t ask me to feel bad about getting a little preferential treatment from my other gays. We’ve each got a story to tell (whether we’re straight or gay) and when it comes to us gays it’s more than just the fact we’re good storytellers, we’ve really been through it kids so if we help one another to a free cocktail or a room upgrade just sit there straightees and be jealous as you are of our fashion sense. It’s good for you and better for us, it’s the power of the GBN (Gay Boy’s Network) – Don’t Get Me Started!



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      Deke52 6 years ago

      Fab column! Spot-on.

      Oh, so true and a good thing, too! Since I'm rather effeminate, I'm hardly in a position to mask who I am when I'm dealing with someone from customer service or at a store counter, wherever. But when my gaydar kicks in and I realize it's a kindred spirit across the counter, I'm a flirt, baby! And I don't cease until I get my way, and trust me, I invariably do.