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The Right Way to Land a Boyfriend

Updated on June 20, 2016

How to Find Mr. Right Without Compromising Your Dignity

I used to be one of the girls who would CONSTANTLY be single. I had no shortage of attention from the opposite sex, a thriving Instagram profile, I was constantly going out on dates, and my DM's were blowing up with prospective suitors. However, I could not for the life of me turn the first date into a second date, or convert these prospects into hubby material. I used to think there was something wrong with me, and it took me FIVE years to figure it out, and when I did, it all became crystal clear. I was going about it completely wrong, and I know a lot of other women have struggled with the same thing. Landing a boyfriend comes naturally to some women, but for the rest of us, we feel plagued and lonely. This article is meant to help with that.

Here Is How You Do It

If you are in your mid-twenties and have yet to land a boyfriend, you are what I like to call chronically single. Now, there is nothing wrong with being chronically single unless it bothers you and you feel as if something is missing. If you want to change this, you totally can, you just need to take a step back and take a good look in the mirror. I don't mean this literally, don't actually look in the mirror unless you're developing a uni-brow and you are beginning to smell like rancid goat milk. I mean this metaphorically; sit down with one of your girlfriends and evaluate every decision you have made in your sex/love life, every date you have been on, and every male encounter you have had. I guarantee you will begin to recognize patterns and habits in your behavior that contribute to your singleness.


How to Attract the Right guy

The first and most important step in finding man who is husband material is to attract the right type of men. As superficial as this sounds, your appearance and lifestyle play a huge role in the stages of early attraction. The manner of your behavior and lifestyle completely dictate which type of men will pay attention to you.

Social media

Social media plays a huge role in relationships, and are oftentimes the vessel couples meet through. It is important to ensure your social media profiles are not compromising your love life.

  1. Do not post overly sexual provocative pictures.
    Many girls make the mistake of associating their self-worth with their sexuality and attractiveness. While this is a major factor, you must be sure you are portraying yourself in a way that communicates you have self-respect, but also aren't a complete nun.
    Bikini pictures and selfies are completely fine, but if you are posting thirst trap booty and cleavage pictures, accompanied by sensual Drake lyrics, men are going to get the impression you are only looking for casual sexual interactions. It sounds silly, I know, but people can only see what you allow them to see.
  2. Don't post pictures of excessive partying and drinking.
    No quality man with intentions to build a future with someone is going to be with a girl who spends her weekends at nightclubs mooching off club promoters in order to get completely black out drunk. It is way too much baggage to date a party girl who prioritizes alcohol over her health. If you even are able to attract men while maintaining this lifestyle, they will be the ones with a substance abuse problem, or ones looking for easy sex since they clearly don't care that you are engaging in a self-destructive lifestyle. Or hey, who knows, maybe 'Johnny' can see through the puke in your hair and love you for YOU. But probably not.
  3. Don't comment on and like random men (especially hockey player's) profiles.
    When a man finds a prospective female on social media, he will lurk the hell out of her, and if he finds she follows a bunch of random hockey players or men she couldn't possibly just be friends with, that's an immediate red flag to back off. A puck-bunny is every mans worst nightmare, so please do not be that girl.
  4. Don't crave attention.
    Girls who post constantly looking for attention from the opposite sex are not seen as an ideal girlfriend choice. Men want a girl who doesn't need attention from anyone, they want to feel as if they have won their attention and as if they are special.
  5. Post pictures of a healthy and wholesome lifestyle.
    Don't be afraid to express your uniqueness. If you like books, post about books you like. If you love to exercise, express that side of yourself. Anything that shows that you are different and not afraid to be yourself is definitely going to work in your favor.
  6. Post pictures with friends and family.
    Men want to be with a girl who has a life of her own before him. Show your family oriented and love to be social. This is super attractive to men and it shows them you are fun and have a life outside of social media.



Once your social media profiles are clean and boyfriend friendly, its time to perfect your physical state and mannerisms.

1. Smile
Men love seeing women smile, it shows them that they are happy, positive, and psychologically stable.

2. Less is more
I don't mean in regards to clothing, I'm talking make-up. Every man wants to embrace the natural beauty of his woman, and covering it up with excessive make-up is a turn off. Men want a woman who is comfortable in her own skin, and is confident to go au-natural in front of him. Confidence is oftentimes sexier than winged eyeliner or sharp contour.

3. Keep your nails clean and manicured.
Men like when women have clean and manicured hands and feet, but they are not a fan of over done fake nails that look like they have the potential to claw your eyes out. Fake nails look great, but don't go crazy.

4. Dress fashionably and sensibly.
Dress in outfits that compliment your unique shape without showing too much skin. Men want a girl who knows how to dress her body, not a girl who stresses about wearing the highest fashion.

5. Make sure your hair is constantly on point
This is self-explanatory. No one wants a rats nest.

6. Shaved legs and smooth skin is key.
Again, self-explanatory unless your crush has a Chewbacca fetish.

7. Working out
Exercising and staying in shape is very important. Men want a woman who takes care of her body and exercises often. Men do not want a girl who drinks constantly, eats like crap, and is a couch potato.

Psychological Patterns and Habits

Once you got the psychical down and on point, its time to address all that emotional baggage and patterns that inhibit your ability to find a quality boyfriend.

  1. Men like a chase.
    This is the most reiterated piece of dating advice ever but it holds A LOT of truth. For some reason men love a chase, and a good one at that. Until the moment they put a ring on your finger, they need to constantly feel as if you could be gone at any second, or your interest my falter. This is so hard to master, and it takes an immense amount of mental strength and resolve to accomplish this. Do not be desperate and not make it seem as if you crave his attention and need it in order to get through your day, this is the most unattractive quality ever. Men smell desperation from a mile away, just like a shark can smell blood. Also when you're desperate, you attract the type of men who thrive on taking advantage of women
  2. Hold out on sex.
    The BIGGEST mistake you can make is sleeping with a man too soon. If you decide to given in too easily he will definitely have less respect for you, lose interest, and wonder "how many other guys has she done this with?"
    Also, when you wait the first sexual interaction is much more meaningful and there is a build up of lust an anticipation that has the advantage of time. The longer you wait, the stronger your relationship and trust will be when you decide to share that special moment together.
  3. Don't be needy, show him you can live WITH or WITHOUT him.
    Being needy is the worst thing you can do. You need to show your love interest that you had a meaningful life before him and that if he plays his cards right, he can find a place inside your special life and heart. Men love women who are strong, independent, and motivated because it shows them that they are not dependent on them for their happiness. This keeps men interested and on their toes. It also shows them that you are letting them into your already fulfilling life because you think they can compliment and enhance it.
  4. Don't be flirty with other men
    Once you do this, you lose their trust and evoke feelings of jealousy, this is a ticking time bomb for any relationship.
  5. Do not Netflix and chill
    Instead of engaging in sedentary activity on your date, do active things that give you the opportunity to talk and get to know each other. Working out, going out for dinner and drinks, rollerblading, hiking, going on runs, shopping, playing board games and video games, hanging out in groups, going to concerts and events together are some great ways to spend time together. Watching a movie at whoever's house does not allow the opportunity for you to get to know them and find out if you're compatible.



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    • word55 profile image

      Al Wordlaw 

      2 years ago from Chicago

      Hi Mxdeleinee, great hub. The RIGHT way is what I can appreciate. Who's looking? Come forward... She can hook me up via "fan mail."

    • Evane profile image

      The Filipina Digital Entrepreneur 

      2 years ago

      This is such an interesting hub :)

    • days leaper profile image

      days leaper 

      2 years ago from england

      Thanks. I am now a man with more understanding of myself as well as other people. Are You a Psychologist or something?

    • profile image


      2 years ago

      Great blog you should keep it up and write some real estate ones for me :)

    • Mxdeleinee profile imageAUTHOR


      2 years ago

      Thanks for the kind words

    • profile image

      Happy Man 

      2 years ago

      No problem great article I hope it goes viral. You should really get into blogging, I mean it, with all that reality TV stuff going on everything is getting more and more complicated in people being genuine and having a realistic perspective on live, relationships and career. Keep writing and being positive.

    • Mxdeleinee profile imageAUTHOR


      2 years ago

      Thanks for your response and input. You have a great perspective

    • profile image

      Happy Man 

      2 years ago

      Finally a woman who gets it. Wow you are truly one of a kind. I wish all women had your common sense and prolific and realistic thinking.

      A huge piece of advice I would add is everyone is a product of there environment. Try and be with people that are similar to you and your family values do not under any circumstances date a fixer upper.

      Be with people that are independent but still close to there families in my experience being with people that don't come from a strong close knit family end up inheriting a tonne of unresolved issues they have personally.

      Still blown away that woman like you exist your parents and family must be proud

    • Mxdeleinee profile imageAUTHOR


      2 years ago

      Thank you :) Interesting points! I agree, never have a hidden agenda. Just make sure you respect yourself and don't compromise yourself. :)

    • dashingscorpio profile image


      2 years ago

      You offer some great advice.

      I would probably add especially for young women a "reality check".

      Getting a "boyfriend" is fairly easy for any semi attractive woman, with an easy going personality, and a great sense of humor. However most women complain about "relationships not (going) anywhere".

      Most men in their 20s either just left a dorm room or broke out of their parent's basement. Their focus is on establishing a career, playing video games, partying with friends, and getting laid. They want to have FUN!

      The last thing on their minds is becoming their parents!

      The very idea of settling down, getting married, signing a 30 year mortgage, and having children is like watching their lives flash before their eyes! Therefore is a woman in her 20s is looking for husband material might do better to date single men in their early 30s.

      According to statistics the average age of first time married men is 29.

      There are basically two reasons why men don't propose.

      1. Timing - (Have other goals/They're happy with the way things are.)

      2. You are not "the one".

      According to statistics 85% of all men will get married at least once by age 44. Of those remaining 15% who don't some of them are gay. Therefore the odds are that any man a woman is currently dating who hasn't been married WILL be getting married if not to her someone else.

      With regard to #2 (Holding off on sex).

      That one could play either way. Essentially if a guy is genuinely "into you" and you turned out to be "sexually compatible" he's not going to runaway. Most "one-night stands" are either a matter of convenience or the sex simply wasn't that great or memorable to come back for more.

      Everyone is entitled to have sex whenever they want to. However if one is using the calendar as a "strategy" to gain a commitment they may be setting themselves up for a disappointment.

      There is no guarantee he won't be having sex with other women while he's "waiting" for you. Also you might be the one who doesn't want seconds after you have sex with him!

      Traditionally the hidden agenda for not having sex was to gain emotional investment from the other person so if the sex turned out not to be all that great they would likely stay and try to "work on it". Having said there are instances where people have dated 3 months and after finally having sex the guy never comes back. She'll believe:

      "He got what he wanted and ran off." Sometimes the reality is he just didn't think they were sexually compatible.

      Lastly when you're in your 30s, 40s, and beyond it's kind of silly to use the calendar to determine when to have sex. If two independent working adults with their own careers, homes, or apartments are 'into" one another they're not likely going to wait too long. And the older guys become the less judgmental they are.

      Having said that women should only have sex because that's what they want to do. Never let a guy pressure you into if you don't want to and you should never have sex with a "hidden agenda" such as believing it will "solidify" your relationship.


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