The Reality of Motherhood
When a woman becomes pregnant with her first child, she becomes overwhelmed with emotion. Part of her prepares for the labor, part of her prepares for motherhood, and the rest of her just desires to sleep. People swarm her, rubbing her belly, asking mundane questions, and telling her how magical and amazing it is to be pregnant and have a baby. She smiles out of courtesy, and then walks away to go about the rest of her day. As her belly grows throughout the months, as her bladder and emotions become uncontrollable, as she discovers new and weird bodily functions she never knew existed, she begins to worry and become consumed with the fear of birth and motherhood.
What Motherhood Really Entails
There are so many strange things about becoming a mother. Not everything is so beautiful and magical, but there are so many weird, terrifying, and disgusting aspects that surrounds motherhood. Motherhood is not always magic; motherhood is gross, motherhood is complicated, motherhood is a life sacrifice, but motherhood is fulfilling, that is, if you can get over the terror of reality, a dose of poisonous truth, and an overdose of baby blues.
Everyone poops, that is a fact, but when one ventures into motherhood, there is an abundance of poop, some green, some yellow, some runny, some solid. When one becomes a mother, one allows themselves to become elbow deep in shit. A mother discovers themselves changing a poopy diaper, and then, they discover themselves looking at it, thinking about, almost wanting to dig into it, to figure out something left unseen, something that could portray a different reality.
When one becomes a mother, they automatically posses the power to read the mystical wonder that is poop. A mother knows what she feeds a child, and a mother can see that food in the disgusting, smelly, brown diapered bottom with a less that pleasant present inside. A mother finds herself wondering, inspecting, and trying whole heartedly to figure out what that poop has to say (if only shit could talk).
Viruses, bacteria, the unknown, the unreasonable, the awful bodily functions that one rarely wants to deal with on their own personal time, has now shown itself, in the small, helpless child that one has birthed. Children are little germ factories, discovering new ways of spreading their product. The child gets sick, then the mother gets sick, and then the father gets sick, an awful reaction to an awful creature one cannot even see.
Vomit and Wearing Vomit
Oh the glorious bodily function that spews out of ones mouth. As an adult one can control where they spew, as a small child, one spews all over the thing or person that is closest to them. A mother needs to be prepared and understand that they will need to not only witness a lot of vomit, but they need to be willing to wear the vomit. A mothers fashion, is not mother fashion without a splash of child puke on that little black dress.
Boogers and Wearing Boogers
Shit happens, that is normal, but snot and boogers, that is a different story, those gems seem to manifest themselves within that teeny human for no reason at all. Those snot jewels seem to poke from the cave, and come into the light to be found by the mother miner just so they can be dug up and shown to the public, on the miners sleeve.
Men are embarrassing, but they can control themselves in a suave manner, children on the other hand, they do not understand control, they do not understand public, they do not understand people, therefore, they do, they say, and they feel everything. One does not know embarrassment until the spawn they birthed pulls down the pants of their parents in the diaper aisle of WalMart, or screams, “Mom, you POOPED!” in the busy, public bathroom of the highway rest stop.
As a mother, one can decipher poop, one can tell if the child is about to vomit, one is willing to wear vomit and boogers, but one is not always willing to give up their own pooping privacy. When one becomes a mother one must be willing to poop, vomit, pee, and change in front of a smaller, more interested, more vocal and confused human being.
Cleaning, Cleaning, Cleaning
As a child the mess was cleaned, as a high school student the mess disappeared, as a college student the mess was tolerable, but as a parent the mess manifests, the mess appears from the depths of life, the mess is uncontrollable; the mess has a life of its own. When one becomes a mother, one must clean nonstop. Cleaning becomes more than a full time job on its own.
Ah, clothes, to a woman, clothes consist of designers, labels, shoes, and handbags, but to a mother clothes consist of sweat pants, a t-shirt, and a bra on the bathroom floor waiting to be washed. When a woman becomes a mother, clothes seem unnecessary, bare bottoms become normal, and the mountain of dirty and smelly clothes turn into a chore.
Toy Take Over
As a mother, toys are a blessing, toys keep the demon at bay, controlled, occupied, but there comes a point in ones lifetime where the toys grow a mind of their own, and the demons grandparents become overzealous in gift giving, and the mothers life is sacrificed by the demons play things.
Money and the Loss of Money
Money is power, money transforms into things immediately, money can become happiness, but as a mother money turns into darkness, into nothing; as a mother money disappears just as quickly as it was earned, for nothing to show for it except for diapers in the trash.
Becoming a Role Model
When a woman becomes a mother, one must also learn control and constraint. One must learn that all bad habits are now reflected upon a minuscule person who has not yet learned the importance of control and constraint. A child is a mirror that directly reflects the mothers life, morals, behaviors, and poor habits. If a mother behaves negatively, so will the child.
Transitioning into Motherhood
Motherhood is weird, confusing, disgusting, and abnormal, but motherhood can be a magical transition in life that shows one that adulthood may be worth it just for the fact that one can still color and build forts without judgment.
Even though motherhood can be disgusting, overwhelming, and terrifying at times, the love a mother feels for her child is felt and known without words that will last a lifetime.
Motherhood is one of the most difficult journeys that one can embark on; it is filled with ups and downs, twists and turns, laughter and tears, love and discontent, but when that tiny person grabs onto their mothers hand, looks deep within their mothers soul, and says, "mommy" and smiles, the path will be well worth traveling.
© 2013 Jami Johnson