ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The Reasons Why She is No Longer into You

Updated on July 24, 2017

When a relationship begins, magical things happen; men are attentive, selfless, often noticing the smallest details to make sure he makes his girl happy. Over time this changes, that initial flame that sealed the deal is lost and what remains is the true essence of who you are. Men begin to feel "safe", which leads to neglecting the wife or girlfriend. Sometimes, they simply don't know how to show love in a way that is significant to their partner. As a result, a woman that does not feel tended to, will feel unloved and will lose interest in the relationship.

Below you will find some of the top reasons why she is no longer into you. These are meant to help you identify where you have failed, but does not guarantee that this is the exact problem in your relationship. However, learning about the causes of your problem better prepares you to resolve them.

Inattentive Men
Inattentive Men

Scriptures are the guide to successful and happy relationships. In Ephesians chapter 5, we find verses that shed light into what a godly relationship should look like. It defines the roles of husbands and it also gives husbands a list of things that should be provided to a wife in order for the marriage to reflect God's love.

Ephesians 5:25

For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church.30 And we are members of his body. 31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Reason # 1 - Inattentiveness and Lack of Romance

As I mentioned before, the most likely reason for your wife or partner's withdrawal is that her needs are not being met. You are not giving her the romance she needs, you are not paying special interest in the things that are interesting to her, and you are failing at giving her comfort. Attentiveness requires that you love her the way she needs to be loved. This is why it is so important to love the essence of the person and not their looks. Love the woman for who she is, and be willing to understand that her needs change.

A woman needs a man that can make her fall in love with him on a daily basis. She is interested in honest and open conversations, and please let me add that they need to be smart conversations as well. Communication is key because this is how you will learn what it is that she likes. Don't be bothered by how much she talks, just make sure you listen to understand. Also, a woman needs to be told that she is beautiful. You need to make her feel that to you there is no one more beautiful or important than her. Her worth needs to be recognized and appreciated often. Be thankful for those special things she does for you, don't make her feel like it's an obligation.

Notice how in Ephesians 5, the Bible tells us that a man should "give himself", meaning that men need to put in some type of sacrifice to please their wives. The husband should also be aware that he alone is not sufficient for his wife, that she needs the word of God in order to be fully washed and her sins removed. There is nothing more romantic than a man willing to give up himself for his loved one.

"...He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish".

Ways you can be more attentive and romantic:

  • buy her chocolate or flowers
  • keep in mind special occasions or celebrations
  • call/text her from work
  • share the word of God
  • tell her she is beautiful
  • make dinner for her
  • clean the house

Reason # 2 - Lack of Stability and Support

There is nothing more attractive to women than a man who can be a true leader. Women need to feel secure. If as a partner, you have not given her a safe place to be herself and to know that all will be good, then she is ready to let go. Making a woman feel secure means that you will need to support her in areas outside of romance and love making. She needs to know that if she needs help, you will be the first to jump in to help her. There should be no feeling of doubt that you are willing to fight for her if need be. You should be her superhero.

If you are used to doing whatever you want without letting her know your whereabouts, she may feel insecure in the relationship. Don't be impulsive! This is true not only with your lifestyle habits but also with money. If you spend money without control, she will feel insecure because of your inability to provide.

Women also need to feel that you support them to become a better person. Make sure that you put your part in pushing her to achieve her dreams. Don't dim her light. Helping her to become better at whatever she does, doesn't mean you can control her. She needs the freedom to make choices but also the security that if she fails, you are there to catch her.

You NEED to have an attitude of service towards your wife.

Ways to provide stability and support:

  • take initiative(be a leader)
  • don't make decisions on your own that you know can affect both or that you know she will disagree with
  • don't spend what you don't have
  • support her goals and dreams
  • build a safe environment for her

Happy Couple
Happy Couple

Reason # 3 - Loneliness

Are you really there?

Does she find herself doing things alone because you are not present? There is no worst feeling than having company and feeling lonely. That's the case for a lot of women who are married or in a committed relationship; they have a partner but that person does not support them emotionally or does not make them feel as an important part of their life. They often feel that if they were not present, their partner would not miss them.

"...As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one".

Are you one?

It is likely that your partner may feel lonely because the time you spend together is no longer a priority to you. It is not only about how much time is spent together but the quality of that time. When you are together, think about what your main focus is. A woman needs to feel that her man's time is devoted to her; that she does not need to compete with other things. Quality time is what will help the relationship remain strong and healthy. If you are fully aware that this is your problem, begin investing time in your relationship NOW.

Ways to give her more time:

  • have Date Nights
  • have a block of time set apart specially for her(do this on a daily basis)
  • be involved in activities that are important to her
  • make her your priority


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      Tamara Moore 

      10 months ago

      This is a wonderful article in which you have created, here! I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, and find your words to be true.

      Thank you for a fine read!



    • dashingscorpio profile image


      12 months ago

      "The Reasons Why She is No Longer into You..."

      She's not "the one"!

      There is no universal definition for love and how it is expressed. Everyone is looking for someone to love them (they way) they want to be loved. Each of us has our own ideas of what love is suppose to "look like", "feel like" and how people "in love" should "act like". Until we are loved (the way) we want to be loved we won't "feel loved" no matter what is in our mate's heart. This is why people sometimes say: "If you loved me you would....etc"

      They want you to love them (the way) THEY want to be loved.

      If you are (being yourself) and someone needs you to "change" to make the relationship "work" there's a good chance that you have chosen the "wrong mate" for yourself. (And vice versa)

      You'll never be happy if you can't be yourself in a relationship.

      Once a relationship gets past the "infatuation phase" and a couple starts to reveal their "authentic selves" that's when you're in a position to truly access whether or not you're right for one another. Compatibility trumps compromise.

      Like attracts like and opposites attract divorce attorneys!

      The goal for most people is to find someone who will love and appreciate them for who (they) are. No two women are alike.

      What rocks one woman's world may not do it for another. Flapping around in whichever way the wind blows will wear you out.

      There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on.

      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

      - Oscar Wilde

      Thankfully there are over 7 Billion other people on the planet.

      Every ending is a new beginning!


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)