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The Stages of Getting to the Moment.

Updated on February 2, 2011
Do you know how to close the gap?
Do you know how to close the gap?

Other tips on how to seal the deal on love

If you know where in the stage of love you're in, you know what to do next and when to do it.

Not many people are very good at closing the deal on love. There are many couples out there who could have been together because of their mutual feelings but did not. Somewhere along the way, the signal gets scrambled and a blossoming love affair becomes fodder for stories of broken hearts.

Love follows a universal pattern of manifestation that you can liken to the scientific method and other creative models that exist out there in the world. That is because love is more an activity of the mind more than that of the body. The mind moves from ideas to habits before it comes down to body experience.

So for those who need to know how to close that deal, listen up! If you're aware of the stage you're in, you can know when its time to take it to the next level. There are ways to create a love relationship out of "no chance in hell" or even just get to the point of having a date when he or she "doesn't even know I exist"

Stage 1: Know who you want.

You can't go around town hoping one girl or one boy, any girl or boy will fall in love with you. It's not about who will find you interesting out of all the crop of boys or girls. You have to know WHO you really want. Find a target that really really thoroughly interests you and then focus. I am not talking about types who would be great trophies. I'm talking about a person you really really genuinely like to spend time with and get to know deeply.

Stage 2 : Separate yourself from others.

Stand out. If all the girls are dressing slutty, be classy. If all the boys are hitting on her, be a friend. If everybody is sitting on a long table. sit on a stool. If everybody is swimming, make a sand castle. Separation allows the target the opportunity to notice you.

Stage 3 : Allow attraction to take place

The way to ignite attraction is to be unnaturally close without being intrusive. When you find yourself standing next to your target. Stand slightly closer than normal but not too close its threatening. Make your voice just a little bit softer than usual to make the target close in the gap to hear you better. Use any trick in the book to be close without ever touching. You'll see it in movies. First they just like each other, then the attraction begins when the two characters find themselves in a narrow hallway or when they accidentally find themselves next to each other.

Stage 4: Create the environment

The fourth stage is about routines. If you have a routine, you can set expectations and make yourself your target's mini mental habit. Call every seven o clock in the evening so that it is predictable. Always ask her out for same kind of coffee in the same coffee place. Give her the same kind of flowers or thoughtful treat in an expected time continuously. For women, needing help on the same things, wearing the same perfume, or simply touching your hair the same way before you smile and stare is sometimes enough. Sometimes its just as simple as ordering the same dessert, the same kind of thing that you truly enjoy. The idea is to set expectations. It gives the target a certain level of "knowing" about you. Consistency is key.

Stage 5: Evolve, break the pattern.

If you always call at 7pm. Don't call for a week. Then when you do call, don't explain why you didn't call. If you're a girl, wear a different perfume. Or suddenly tie your hair, or change the way you dress. By challenging the expectation, you evoke a response that will let you know what about you was noticed and missed. By breaking the pattern, you allow that person to search for the pattern that he or she has grown accustomed to. The result is usually a confrontation.

Stage 6 : Be Truthful

When you are confronted take the opportunity to begin moving to the direction of feelings:

"What happened to you? You stopped calling?" " I wanted to see how long I can stop calling you without freaking out." Most of the time when the expectations were deeply set, the target will seek you out themselves.

A change of look or pattern invites confrontation as well. And the answer must be honest truthful but not pushy. "You changed your perfume." "I'm glad you noticed"

These kinds of truthfulness begs for a kind of further exploration. This point becomes interesting because usually it leads to the evolution of an attraction to an outright flirtation or a relationship.

Stage 7: Let go.

This is it. You have set the stage for that moment where a kiss, an "I like you" an "I'm in love with you" or "I am interested in a date"is imminent. Let it out. Free fall. Say it. Do it. Go for it. Don't hold back now.The moment will pass and you'll be back to square one.

By being aware of the stages of attraction and falling in love, you don't falter around saying "i love you" before the stage is set,or planting a kiss, before the desire is generated. A love affair requires mindful awareness. It also requires that you proceed confidently towards the direction of your true desire at the right time and stage in your relationship.

Good luck!


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    • Lita C. Malicdem profile image

      Lita C. Malicdem 

      8 years ago from Philippines

      I would have chosen #2- I call it reverse psychology.LOL! Subtle maneuvers to win your "love". Maybe I could apply it to my children , or a best a friend. But never with another "him". I had my happy days over. Of course I like all your tips.

      So, my intuition was right. Hi, Kabayan! Not the one you know, because I'm from Pangasinan. I know the Beltrans from Bayambang. Great to know you, Cecilia.

    • ceciliabeltran profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from New York

      Hi Deborah,

      It is based on cycles of manifestation so it would apply to married life too, changing the first day to "know who you are"

      and then "separate yourself from your role" and so and so forth.

      Thanks for dropping by. Namaste.

    • Deborah Demander profile image

      Deborah Demander 

      8 years ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

      Interesting steps. I'd be curious to try them, if I weren't already happily married.


    • ceciliabeltran profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from New York

      Hi James,

      Thanks. well, you can recycle that within a relationship. It's just orbits of zero. Thanks for dropping by!

    • profile image

      Twenty One Days 

      8 years ago

      sure, now you tell me. ;P

      very nicely done.

      am going to pass this on to some of the femme posse i know.


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