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The Roles of a Woman in the Home
When one thinks of roles in the home, often the thinking is towards hierarchy. We tend to to think towards who has more power, more influence, or more value. I want to challenge that thinking with thinking of men and women as having specific roles, yet being equal. This hub is in response to a request to write this, so the emphasis will be on the woman's role.
Being a Christian I often hear sermons on roles in the home and man as leader. However, when you get back to the Garden of Eden where God created marriage we see Adam and Eve being equal. It is only after they go their own way that God says one of the results of their fall would be a struggle for power in the home.
So, Adam and Eve were equal. It is difficult in that situation to pin certain roles on Eve and certain ones on Adam. Eve was not inferior and Adam was not superior. Roles in our society tend to be what defines a person's value. However, the Bible teaches us that our value comes in the fact that we are all, both men and women, created in God's image.
In our journey to discover the role of a woman in the home we must first know how to determine roles in general, then we can more specifically look at women.
How to determine roles in the home
When determining the roles that men and women play in the home, we can't look to the gender of the person, but rather their strengths, gifts and so on. Several questions to ask when determining who has what responsibility in a marriage include:
What are the strengths of the husband/wife?
Which one tends to be more organized?
Which one is more detail oriented?
Who is stronger at teaching the children?
Who is better at disciplining the children (with more desirable results) ?
Who is a better leader in specific situation? This helps determine who takes the lead in certain situations while the other takes the lead in other situations
No matter what, will the husband and wife remain a team?
While these are just a few questions to ask, it is a good start to determining what roles you will play in your marriage. Remember that roles are not determined by gender, but by strengths.
The role of a woman in the home
Though roles are determined by strengths, there are specific roles that women play that are crucial to the success of a marriage.
When men see this they tend to think of sex. However, lover is so much more than sex. In fact sex is a small part of showing love towards each other. To be a lover is to pay attention to the other person, to build them up according to their needs, to encourage them like no one else can, to let them know in creative ways that your heart belongs to them alone.
This doesn't mean that the man does not provide that role to his wife. But this article is specifically about the woman. My wife loves me in amazing ways that only she can. Women, I encourage you to love your husband, to be his greatest fan, and to let him know that he is not alone.
This may seem too obvious, but women can nurture children in a way that men cannot. I tend to be straight forward with my kids, but my wife is so nurturing, so tender, so caring. When the little one falls down, who do they run to? Mom! Mothers have such a special, amazing way about them that we men just cannot fulfill for the children. That doesn't mean that men are not important. If anything, the last generation of single parent homes has taught us that men are absolutely important to the development of a child.
By this I mean that women are to be their husband's best friend. We begin as friends, but somewhere along the way we pull apart. Women can befriend their husband in a way that no one else can. I encourage the women reading this to be your husband's best friend.
To the husbands reading this I want to say something you need to hear. Are you worth being a friend to? Often our wives want to be our friend, but we trample them so much that they can't be our friend. If you want your wife's heart, you have to win her everyday, just like it were the first time.
So, there it is. The role of a woman in the home isn't the traditional model we have been given. It is determined by her strengths and abilities. Women have so much to offer. Women are so valuable in the home. May the women step up to fulfill their calling in the home, and may men step out of the way when they know that their wife can do a better job in certain areas while they fulfill their role in other areas.