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The Royal Bedding, er, Wedding.

Updated on April 27, 2011

The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists...the Brits.

The real Diogenese didn't care for pomp and circumstance either...wasn't much room for it in his barrel!
The real Diogenese didn't care for pomp and circumstance either...wasn't much room for it in his barrel!

We don't have the common sense of an ant!

Millions of British people are anxiously waiting for this Friday, April 29th., to celebrate the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton. Millions more, I suspect, including yours truly, are praying for Friday to get here for a different reason.

Because they are UTTERLY SICK of being bombarded on the TV and in the 'papers by gushing Oxbridge sheep agonizing over every detail of the couple and the nuptials, Baa, Baa, Bah!!

Robert Tressell, the author of the "Ragged Trousered Philanthropists," a cynical condemnation of the forelock tugging British of his day during the Victorian and Edwardian eras, must be turning over in his grave at this latest extravaganza by the good old scions of privilege: British royalty. (He died in 1911, but his book is still accurate and evergreen).

David Cameron, the right (extremely) wing prime minister has been debating in the press, and receiving much advice from thousands who benefit not at all, on whether to go in a lounge suit or full dress with tails. (The latest: tails - of course...the demurring was just to make us think he is one of us).

Getting a ticket to the affair has caused acrimony and cat fights all over Lunnon town. The bride and groom don't want former ministers, Blair and Brown, (can't blame 'em for that; wouldn't have either at my funeral), but they have insisted on Elton John and his own gay bride, (or groom?) David Furness. Posh and Becks are invited, of course, and there is much infighting about who gets to sit next to David Beckham and his wife. The list of obnoxious "A-List" celebrities is being changed and added-to daily.

The "Day" has been declared a national holiday in order to win over the disenchanted. The British working class will shortly be imposed with unpaid overtime, the money to go to the exchequer to pay for the odd billion or so all this will cost, (not true, but we will be paying, no doubt of that, along with the unwanted Libyan conflict, the billions to prop up the EU, bank rescue, Ireland, Portugal, Greece and, soon, Spain, and the rest of the Middle East).

Fans of the affair say, "Hey, this is going to bring in millions from tourists." Yes, right, who will be staying in foreign owned hotels and restaurants; buying clothes from Arab emporiums (like Harrods) and buying tickets from foreign airlines along with enriching dubious Hong Kong sweat shop employers making wedding mugs and other trashy memorabilia.. When does the bloke on the street ever see any of all this gelt brought in by these affairs? It'll be a happy day in Texas! See my note.

Haven't these clots got any shame? Doesn't stealing millions from the public purse and from you and I, not a penny of which you have any say over, ever cause them to lie awake at night?

And now Kate Middle-class, a pretty enough bit of fluff, will one day be queen they say, and he, king, of course. We don't even have the good sense of ants and honey-bees, at least their queens are equipped to be USEFUL! What on Earth does Katey have that millions will want to hang on her every word and pay homage to her all her life? My god, is this the ultimate courtesan or is it not? (Google will remove more accurate characterisation).

William seems a pleasant enough young man, but given the spoiled genes of dad and the unstable ones of mum, I wouldn't like to go for a long helicopter ride with him. "You're being unfair!!" Yes, I am, but so are you, ramming your bloody coupling down my throat and insisting I pay for it when I JUST DON'T GIVE A DAMN!

The WHOLE of the Metropolitan police farce, er, force, have had their leave cancelled and thousands of them will line the streets. This shows just how incredibly and mindlessly dangerous it is to flaunt British colonialism and wealth (read debt) in the face of world terrorists and their impoverished hordes, whom, as you read, will doubtlessly by planning a way to disrupt things. What a coup for Bin Laden and Co if he could spoil this day for his hated enemies. The government and Homeland Security know this, why are they allowing all this to go on? “We are the British Empire, mate, borrow another trillion from the cuzzies and...pass the how you go, don‘t slip on that oil!”

The times I got hitched (mind your own!) were all in a small chapel or the registry office. Even some wealthy people today decide to have small affairs. After all, who really cares apart from the couple, close family and friends? They (marriages) don’t last anyway, according to the stats. Though it’s not so easy to rid oneself of a royal bride (ask Charlie as he muses of blooded corpses in French tunnels). Yes, he will be a centre-stage with his camel, er, Camilla. What a bloody charade!

Note: I just bought a wedding mug. You whaaa? yes, but the Chinese company slipped up and put Kate and Harry’s photo on it!

(Not William) It’ll be worth a fortune on ebay one day!



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    • diogenes profile image

      diogenes 6 years ago from UK and Mexico

      Your comment doesn't make sense. If you read the article, you will see I am against royalty and all this glitz and fluff at the nation's expense. They have as much money as a small country, but they won't pay for their own peregrinations: their "subjects" are obliged to do so...Bob

    • diogenes profile image

      diogenes 6 years ago from UK and Mexico

      No, and I don't think kissing-Kate will match up to Diane in any way. I noticed she hardly looked at William during the ceremonies. Diane was besotted with this scum, Charles. Kate's in love with what she has gained.

      The mug will be very collectable one day...Bob

    • SilentReed profile image

      SilentReed 6 years ago from Philippines

      It was a hard sell affair,But I don't think it created the excitement and anticipation of the Charles-Diana wedding.Not being familiar with Rugby or British royalty bashing Would you care to enlightened me which is the more popular sport.:) That wedding mug for sale ?

    • diogenes profile image

      diogenes 6 years ago from UK and Mexico


      Thanks chspublish

    • chspublish profile image

      chspublish 6 years ago from Ireland

      It's the mug that got you or should I say it's the mug that should have got you, but even the mug didn't turn out right - but anyway, you're right about it all, but it's still something isn't it and it's what Britain is famous for. So here's hoping some of those millions do trickle down to favour you and yours and yes, my sincere apologies for the state of this country dragging everybody else down or somewhere. Thanks for the hub. It's a good read.

    • diogenes profile image

      diogenes 6 years ago from UK and Mexico

      I don't know about gold-digger, but social climber cetainly works. These people live in a dream world and reality isn't far away. The poor slobs have about had enough. Welcome to HP and thanks for visit...Bob

      Will. You got that right!

    • profile image

      WillysHubs 6 years ago

      I have just joined *hubpages*,wrote my first hub (as a trying-to-write onliner)which is entitled *Love resides in the LIVER* and eventually I also *dared* to weave in some words, expressing some of my (own) thoughts about this wedding. You DIOGENES, a seasoned writer I think did express quite *beautifully* just how really awful all this is. But *IT WORKED*, did it not? An opportunistic gold-digger's determination paid off. Nice to read what other hubbers have to say, says I (Willy)

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 6 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Weeping, wedding watchers to the right and non-watchers to the back yard for BBQ and beer!

      That will separate the men from the women.

    • diogenes profile image

      diogenes 6 years ago from UK and Mexico

      It's disgusting how these "grace and favor" spoiled swine think they are entitled to spend the public money like this. The only thing they understand is a well aimed cobblestone unfortunately. Even out there eh?

      I imagine it does get you especially riled at the moment...Bob

    • QudsiaP1 profile image

      QudsiaP1 6 years ago

      Yes, I am truly, seriously and positively exhausted of listening, hearing, watching and of all things finding myself stuck in groups of people 'discussing' the Royal Wedding... Last thing I want to do is talk about weddings of any sort and I find it ironic really.

      Besides I have a feeling that we might as well get used to the fact that for the next few decades they will be the news, well unless Harry decides to get married.

    • diogenes profile image

      diogenes 6 years ago from UK and Mexico

      Here we all are, talking about the effing wedding! Thanks for the visit, guys; no more comments on this pleeeeeze...Bob

    • A.A. Zavala profile image

      Augustine A Zavala 6 years ago from Texas

      I think it's interesting that some of the heads of states from the former British colonies are attending the wedding. So, the gala is a form of reparations for these people?

    • jennysbus profile image

      Jenny 6 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      Hi, In Australia that is all we are hearing about too at the moment is the royal wedding. I think the UK will gain alot of tourism from it.

    • Austinstar profile image

      Lela 6 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

      What? Am I supposed to supply the "note from Texas"? Ok - here goes...

      I could care less about the Royal Weeding. You're right, they didn't come to my wedding, so why should I care about theirs? It is taking up valuable TV time, isn't it? And to imagine all the people practicing to be able to stay up all night and watch the spectacle! Amazing that there are so many trolls in the U.S.

      But then we have the likes of Donald Trump trying to run for President. There's no way England can beat that fiasco! Not even a "Royal Wedding". At least the launderers of London have had a banner week!

    • Trish_M profile image

      Tricia Mason 6 years ago from The English Midlands

      Hello Diogenes :)

      I read a hub, on here, recently, by an American, who was talking about everyone going 'Royal Wedding Crazy' over there.

      To be honest ~ and as I then commented ~ I hadn't really noticed much about it, here in the UK.

      I did just see, on the News, that a few people had been camping out in London, but it doesn't seem to be as big an event as previous royal weddings, in spite of William being in line for the crown.

      I hope that it will be a nice day and that we can all enjoy the Bank Holiday. I wish them well. I shall probably watch it all on TV.

      I, too, worry about the potential for trouble and terrorism

    • diogenes profile image

      diogenes 6 years ago from UK and Mexico

      Well, if you love it so much, why not pay my share of the tax that will be exacted from us all to pay for it. Your attitude is so typical of people on this benighted island. Screw me, I love it!! Bob

    • Amanda Severn profile image

      Amanda Severn 6 years ago from UK

      Sorry Bob, the rose-tinted specs are staying firmly in place! I expect the other couples who wed on Friday will consider their day extra special because of the association with an event that the whole world seems determined to share. These big events are like punctuation marks in history. We need them so that we can pause, draw breath, then move on to the next phase of our lives. They act as a bookmark that people will refer to over and over again.

    • diogenes profile image

      diogenes 6 years ago from UK and Mexico

      Hi my dear Amanda. The trusting face of the determindly optomistic. There will be thousands of couples getting hitched this Friday - what about them? And the plod will be enjoying the money if they don't get blown up. It's a different world, Amanda, take off your rose-tinted specs...Bob

    • Amanda Severn profile image

      Amanda Severn 6 years ago from UK

      Oh Bob! So many people are genuinely enjoying this that I can't possibly condemn it. In the midst of all the gloom and doom we've all been so deeply mired in, we at last have the opportunity for a bit of fun. That is why so many people world-wide are embracing the celebration. Never mind the cost. The extra tourism will mop that up. Hotels, restaurants, gift shops and caterers are all set to benefit from the holiday. Even the metropolitan police will be smiling once they have their over-time jingling in their pockets!

    • diogenes profile image

      diogenes 6 years ago from UK and Mexico

      Well, I was about three when I saw through all this crappola. Bob

    • Spirit Whisperer profile image

      Xavier Nathan 6 years ago from Isle of Man

      Well said diogenes. The Irish I have been this all along! It has taken you a while to cop on. Better late than never I suppose. HaHa

    • diogenes profile image

      diogenes 6 years ago from UK and Mexico

      Hi Dexter. Thanks for visit and comment...Bob

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image

      Dexter Yarbrough 6 years ago from United States

      What a fascinating and entertaining observation! So true!!

    • profile image

      diogenese 6 years ago

      Hi Bobbi. At least you don't have all this trash born of privilege, entitled to live off the fat of the land without contributing.

      Sophia: He has many coats, (Cameron), often he will switch them in one speech! He's another man born rich, Oxbrige educated, millions he didn't earn in his name - his wife is even wealthier!

      Bob xx

    • profile image

      Sophia Angelique 6 years ago

      "David Cameron, the right (extremely) wing prime minister". I read a speech by David Cameron to a member of the Republican party in the USA. (He is the local treasurer, or something.) He said exactly what I was thinking. In America, he would be considered a liberal...

    • BobbiRant profile image

      BobbiRant 6 years ago from New York

      Ah yes, even America is just chomping at the bit to have wedding parties, serving food to ogle the royal wedding. Everyone is starry eyed over the rich and disgusting, no matter what country they hail from. I love how Brits get to support the Euro trash royals who really are no more than mere figure heads. Americans have our own American trash, they are called politicians in D.C. I guess, in spite of the financial meltdown of the world, this royal family can say: "Let em eat cake." The French got tired of that too, apparently.