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Christian Rules In A Godly Dating Relationship Part One

Updated on November 13, 2010

Over the years I have had the privileged of counselling many people in the area of relationship success. One of the most frequent questions I get asked is how do I conduct myself in a relationship.  This question stems from a desire they have to remain pure and to conduct their relationship in a God glorifying manner.

The following rules of Christian Dating have been developed to help answer this question and to give insights into what Christian dating entails.  The tips and advice given for each rule will provide you with a solid foundation for relationship success.

Rule 1.  Know Who You Are.  

There is a saying that says you cannot give what you have not got.  What this simply means is you cannot offer what you have not got inside you to another person. Therefore if you do not love yourself how will you be able to love someone else.

This rule is essential if you are wanting to have a successful relationship that lasts. It is important for you to know who you are, what your strengthens and weaknesses are, what your temperament is, what your likes and dislikes are etc.

Knowing who you are will help you to be able to relate to someone from a position of strength rather than of weakness because from the out set of the relationship you are aware of your shortcomings and strengths.

Rule 2. Know What You Want.

Once you know who you are it automatically  follows you should know what you want. if you are complete and whole as a person you will be able to clearly identify what you ideally want in a partner. The important point is to keep your check-list real.

Perfection may be what you want but it is not necessarily what you need. By writing down the key things you are looking for in an ideal mate helps to keep your mind focused when you meet someone. 

Rule 3. Pray.  

Your ability to pray is an essential requirement if you desire relationship  success. Praying helps to keep your mind at peace. When you pray God can show and direct you on the things you need to do and not do whilst dating. Through prayer God can speak to you about your chosen mate.  Indeed through prayer God can reveal intentions and motives. It truly is your secret weapon for dating success.

Rule 4.  Be Accountable.

Temptation shows no respect to anyone. It can happen to any person at any time.The young and the old can be affected by it.  The ability to resist it requires you to put measures in place to help limit the possibility of you falling into sin. 

One key way to prevent temptation spoiling your testimony is to find someone you can submit your relationship to. You need to find an accountability partner.  This person would serve as your spiritual guide and help to steer you from the dangers that can easily happen when you fall in love with someone.

When there is someone on the end of the  phone or someone  you talk to regularly about your relationship  you will want to be circumspect about how you conduct your relationship especially if you have a deep respect for your accountability partner.

Rule 5. Boundaries and Expectations. 

In the early stages of the relationship it is good to set boundaries and express expectations your may have for each other. Doing it early before the rush of love enters your being is important because you can think rationally and logically. The type of boundaries you should consider setting for yourself are:

  • Frequency of meetings
  • The extent of time alone together
  • The time you wish to be the latest you will be on a date together.
  • The extent of physical contact.
  • How many people you will inform about the relationship.
  • What you are ready to do and not do in the  relationship.
These are just  some of the boundaries you should consider.
In part two of the Rules of Christian dating we look at 5 more rules you should employ when you are looking for relationship success.


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      Ade 6 years ago

      Mr Bee, i would suggest you sit down and discuss the areas you desire to change with your partner and between you develop the rules you desire to ensure relationship success. Be honest with one another and use the rules as a framework for developing your own Godly rules that you both agree to work with.

      If the desire is there to have a Godly it will all work out as you ask God to help you.

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      Mr.Bee 6 years ago

      What would i do now that i have violated most of this rule?Is there any chances of making up? Or should i abandon the relationship and start afresh?I need advice pls.