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The Start of a New Family Dynamic

Updated on December 31, 2015

If you would have told me my Dad is gay I would have told you that you are full of shit. He's married to my Mom and they had me. Hello!?! I remember in high school my friends would ask if he was gay and I would stick up for him. Like being gay was a bad thing. I've never though that it is, but I had such a reaction to people thinking that. He's my Dad we're a family.

My Dad grew up in a Catholic family and went to Catholic school. When he was growing up being gay was a sin, something is mentally wrong with you, and of course you are going to hell.

Family beach trip
Family beach trip
Family beach trip
Family beach trip
Seeing Ziggy Marley together
Seeing Ziggy Marley together

Well almost two two years ago he came out to me. It was a big pill to swallow and I remember it like it was yesterday. We were coming home from visiting my sick Uncle and going to the car museum. I was feeling confusion, pride, and uncertainty all rolled into one.

We all tried to keep the family together. We continued to celebrate birthdays and holidays together. Even had our yearly trip to the beach. But as time went on it became sad, tension grew, and things became more awkward.

In 2015 everything changed. My Daughter and I had two Thanksgivings, two Christmases, I had two 37th birthdays, and they alternate who goes to my Daughter's choir concerts.

Trip to the beach with my Dad and Daughter
Trip to the beach with my Dad and Daughter
Trip to the beach with my Mom and Daughter
Trip to the beach with my Mom and Daughter

I'm so proud of my Dad for coming out and being his true self. I can't imagine everything he has had to go through. He is and will always be my Superman. And I'm so proud of my Mom. Through all of this she has shown love, beauty, and elegance.

During their divorce they showed what two people who truly have unconditional love for each other look like. There have been many tears, lots of learning, and finding things out along the way. Through all of this we have become closer as child and parent, and been more honest with each other. I'm so proud of the new family we have become.

© 2015 Cygnus78


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    • Victoria Lynn profile image

      Victoria Lynn 

      2 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      That's interesting! Sometimes families do change, that's for sure. I see you're a former student of Bill's (billybuc). How cool. Welcome to HubPages!

    • Cygnus78 profile imageAUTHOR


      2 years ago

      Thank you so much for your feedback and wonderful welcome. I really appreciate it. It wasn't easy to write, but it was very cathartic. My parents have always taught me to do all things with love and they have been beautiful roll models of this. Happy New Year!

    • B. Leekley profile image

      Brian Leekley 

      2 years ago from Kalamazoo, Michigan, USA

      I'm glad that your family handled the transition into the new dynamic lovingly. I have observed that also in some gay friends and acquaintances who came out to their families. In other cases, coming out was rougher. You told the true story very well, and with sensitivity, emphasizing the beautiful love while giving the story chiaroscuro depth by mentioning confusion, uncertainty, and tension.

      Welcome to HubPages.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 

      2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Wonderful hub Cygnus. Welcome to hub pages, and any friend of Bill's is a friend of mine. I am sure your dad would be proud to read this.

    • suzettenaples profile image

      Suzette Walker 

      2 years ago from Taos, NM

      Beautiful story! You gave accepted this with grace and elegance and know how to remain a family. So good for your daughter too. Welcome to hub pages.

    • sallybea profile image

      Sally Gulbrandsen 

      2 years ago from Norfolk

      Welcome to HubPages. I arrived here via Billy's facebook page and I am so glad I did. It reads like a love story and it is, love of a different kind and I applaud the honesty and bravery shown by you and your family. Best wishes for this New Year.


    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 

      2 years ago

      Welcome to HubPages! Our journey through life is filled with unexpected events but it is how we deal with and overcome certain circumstances that will make it successful. Hope you have a wonderful New Year in 2016.

    • lrc7815 profile image

      Linda Crist 

      2 years ago from Central Virginia

      Only a rare person doesn't have a skeleton in their closet but few are brave enough to open the door and say "here it is". There is freedom in the truth and your story proves that. Love can exist anywhere if we allow it.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Welcome to HubPages, and I think it's only fitting that I'm the first to comment, don't you?

      Isn't it strange how those closest are the last to figure it out? How everyone else suspected except you.....I love the spirit of this should, and at times does, rise above it all.


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