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The Things I Learned About My Marriage in a Foreign Country

Updated on January 12, 2018
DDE profile image

Devika enjoys sharing her work with a friendly community. Writing is a big part of her life. Online work has improved her lifestyle.

Life's Challenges has Changed my way of Life

Challenges are Changing and Acceptable

I have written about the changes in my life from one country to another.

I chose to mention what I learned about my marriage in a different country.

Things have changed no doubt about that. My marriage is nothing like it was thirteen years ago.

I had compared my marriage from the past to the present and know how much has changed but that does not mean any bad for me.

What was will never be, what matters is now and how I far I have come to experience this new life.

I learned that a marriage in this part of the world is different and solid.

We have become strong together and happy for all times irrespective of what has happened through this experience our lives have grown closer.

Trust is not taken for granted and we know our lives count on more than just trusting each other.

I cook daily and enjoy what I do for us and don't expect my husband to interfere in my cooking. If he chooses to cook I don't interfere.

If we choose to cook together then that is handled with a different approach.

I organize lots around the home and make my choices of what to plan for the daily activities while he works his day job.

My marriage has gained a bond stronger than before the change has allowed us to see how much should not be taken for granted.

  • I got to know more about my partner in Croatia than I had in the past.

I know now that the past is not my friend but is more of my enemy and to bring that into my marriage would certainly spoil a good thing.

I don't speak of the past it as been dealt with and bringing the ''what was,'' into a conversations is a no deal.

I forgave and moved on. I know that holding onto the past does not show happiness and forgiveness.

To me it feels a better choice the move from South Africa to Croatia has made me realize how everything I once had and people I once knew have just gone by. Just about forgotten. Life is too precious to stand by and think of the ''what ifs,'' it is not something that I want to do to my marriage.

I learned that my marriage has changed due to a different culture and lifestyle and acceptance allowed me to move on from that thought.

In a new life I chose to see my marriage as a new beginning, especially, from that fairy tale life.

The one I once had in the past when I began my life in Croatia reality kicked in for me.

The simple habits good or bad I have put up with and don't nag about what I know can't be changed. If my partner chooses to work on odd jobs around the house I respect that and continue with my activities.

We see each other and spend as much time together as possible to listen to each other’s thoughts and decisions the normal part of a marriage consists of all experiences.

Years have passed by pretty fast and I have become more relaxed in my daily routine.

  • There is no marriage without a disagreement or no perfect marriage.

If I have something on my mind I come right out with it keeping silent is not the way I am in our relationship.

I have built a steady form of relationship with my partner.

Conversations are simple and not complex it is the best way for us to talk about anything on our minds.

Constant arguments are avoided it is not always necessary to get into strong arguments.

Somebody has to let go and let be.

One of us has to have a certain amount of stability to keep our acts together.

We are the same behind closed doors and in public in the presence of other people. Some couples put on a false appearance when in public.

We are not like that we have a different kind of marriage also not a traditional marriage.

Our marriage is easy going and free-flowing, communication is simple and most understandable. Sometimes we do misunderstand our conversations but get back on tract fast and avoid friction.

I got to know my partner from getting to know more about his parents, which allowed me to understand his background more now than I had in the past.

It shows the significant impact on our relationship through knowing more about his parents and growing up childhood experiences.

Our move to Croatia has changed the marriage in many ways and the changes taught me to appreciate my marriage and to work together as a team.

I learned to love more and be more understanding in my new life to make my marriage work further on.

I have grown into the changes and made my life the way I like it to be.

Each day is a new challenge.

  • Is your past the enemy in your marriage?

I don't speak of the past in our present lives I have passed that obstacle and have created a new beginning a long time ago.

My positive thoughts have got me through all obstacles.

My focus is to be happy in my new lifestyle and marriage.

  • Do you argue to get your point heard?

Arguing is mostly about who is right and wrong this can ruin a good marriage. If you focus on the right and the wrong your marriage would face more conflict.

  • What is marriage all about?

A good marriage is the only form of socialism that works, you can share your goals together and avoid resentment. Fortunes rise and fall you can share risks in marriage and achieve what you want from life together.

  • A marriage is experienced together it will not work with one person showing all the effort.

People talk about how bad marriage can be or is and that it is depressing to get married. What people don't realize about marriage is they have to work toward having a good marriage. You don't say ''I do,'' and let it work out for itself.

You need to show your hard work in the marriage, love, appreciation, teamwork, trust, communication, respect, faithfulness, and the strength that holds you together all counts for in a good marriage.

  • Every day is a chance for your marriage to work and to get better.

Daily conversations help you through the hardest of times.

Compromises allows for marriages to keep going and surviving. Treat your partner like you would like to be treated and spoken to.

Patience and hard work shows limitless rewards.

I am responsible for the choices I made I did not want to build up resentment toward my partner for making the choice to move to Croatia I was also part of that decision.

Blame is not the answer to a better relationship.

It was nobody’s fault for the way things changed.

I managed to cope with what made me feel unhappy in the beginning and now live differently.

Some married couples make changes come between them and destroy their good marriages.

The blame hurts the other partner and resentment builds up to cause more problems allowing for divorce.

  • How many people linger in a failing relationship and waste some of the best years of their lives?

It happens to many couples.

Marriages don't work alone and holding onto something from the past is not going to resolve your conflict.

Marriage is about forming a good relationship with your partner once you have formed that relationship you will have everything you want in a marriage.

I know my marriage has faced many obstacles along the way and overall our relationship and love in the marriage has helped us through all those times.

I grew to accept a new culture and a new life.

We stayed together to improve our lives and to make our lives.

We did not marry for money and that shows in our marriage.

It is a shame to see married couples who only look for the good times in a marriage and forget about the other times. Marriage is not all about blissful times.

Good Marriages

Marriage is Teamwork

Are you Happy in your Marriage?

See results

© 2014 Devika Primić


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    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hello Harishprasad thank you for stopping by at my hubs for the vote up your are one of my greater supporters.

    • Harishprasad profile image

      Harish Mamgain 3 years ago from India, New Delhi

      So sound pieces of advice to married couples taking cues from your own married life ! Devika, a very well-written article - so useful and important to cultivate a balanced way of leading our life. Voted up.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      jtrader thank you ever so kindly for commenting on my hubs

    • jtrader profile image

      jtrader 3 years ago

      "Every day is a chance for your marriage to work and to get better." So true. You are also right about not holding onto mistakes from the past and instead, moving forward.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Monis thank you for such an encouraging comment I appreciate you stopping by

    • Monis Mas profile image

      Aga 3 years ago

      It sounds like you have a very strong and loving marriage. Congratulations. It is so important to have a relationship like that, to me that is one of the most important things in life.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Eiddwen so kind of to constantly stop by I appreciate your time and efforts thank you very much for the vote up and shared.

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 3 years ago from Wales

      Another wonderful hub from you Devika and voted up plus shared.


    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi FlourishAnyway you are so right thank you

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      I'm happy that you've been able to approach this challenge together. I'm not sure I'd be able to do it. I know that if he were the reason I wasn't near my mama, then he'd never hear the end of it.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      mylindaelliott thank you kindly for sharing your thoughts at my hubs I appreciate your support have a pleasant day.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi MsDora time spent together is always valuable and shows appreciation thank you

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      ologsinquito thank you for sharing your thoughts here

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi tobusiness thank you kindly for such an encouraging comment my best wishes to you as well have a pleasant Sunday.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi billybuc the different life from then and now has taught me so much more thank you

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      jhamann thank you for stopping by here I appreciate your time and efforts

    • mylindaelliott profile image

      mylindaelliott 3 years ago from Louisiana

      Those all seem like they have done your marriage good. It is all good advice too.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 3 years ago from The Caribbean

      It seems that you spend more time with your husband now. That always improves an already good marriage. Happy for you.

    • ologsinquito profile image

      ologsinquito 3 years ago from USA

      It sounds as if you have embarked upon a new and exciting chapter of your life in a foreign country. I wish you and your husband many years of happiness.

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 3 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      Devika, another interesting and thought-provoking hub. I must admit, when we got married I didn't for one minute believe my marriage would last, I remember saying to my prospective husband, let's do it and have fun. :) 26 years later, we're still having fun.

      The emphases may change over the years but the love, friendship and togetherness is always real. You have experienced many changes in your life, you can embrace the changes and see it for the great adventure it is, or fight it. I'm simply enjoying the ride for as long as I can. Take care and my best to you and you family.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Very interesting perspective, the idea that you can learn more about your marriage living in a foreign country. I had never thought of that possibility.

    • jhamann profile image

      Jamie Lee Hamann 3 years ago from Reno NV

      Thank you DDE for this interesting hub. Your hubs are very helpful when I think about my marriage. Jamie