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The Things That Mattered To Me In College and Now I Could Care Less About

Updated on December 11, 2014

How much I can drink

In your college career, how many times the next day your grabbing greasy food with your friends and at least one of them is bragging "Bro I can’t believe how wasted I got last night. I started off the night with like 7 shots and probably had about 17 beers. Man, I drank so much last night" First off, no you didn't. Most likely if you consumed that much alcohol you're probably bragging about this in heaven.

Now I’m lucky if I’m not buzzed after my second pint of IPA. You want to do shots? Are you crazy? I have to be up 8am tomorrow to yard work and I don’t feel like cleaning gutters with a headache.

Not about having a nice body but being healthy

Back in college I went to the gym everyday, with the steady diet of cafeteria food, late night ramen and post bar taco bell, a daily gym trip to was needed to make sure my friends couldn’t force me do the truffle shuffle.

Back in that time I was more concerned about the cosmetic aspects of the gym, now I just want to make sure my blood pressure is good and I can walk up a few flight of stairs without looking like an offensive lineman after running in for a touchdown.

How hard I can party

Unless you’re really rich, like Oprah rich, Your college years are going to be your big party years. Weekly keggers, tailgating for any kind of sports game (I have tailgated for volleyball games so it’s possible), cheap well drinks at the local bar, in college there was a plethora of opportunities to find ways to have a good time.

When I was in college I didn’t have any real responsibilities. My toughest task as a college student was to not completely waste my parent’s money and make sure that my professors could recognize my face enough to identify me in a police lineup. That diploma I received not only says I survived and graduated but it’s also the “party is over” document. I now have an absorbent amount of debt punching me in the stomach like a heavyweight boxer and I’m pretty sure my boss would not enjoy me smelling like I bathed in gin. I still go out on the weekends, I go to a bar, once in a while my friends will have people over at their house, but the days of ABC parties (I still have so much duct tape) and cracking a beer at breakfast are done.

Having the latest fashions

I used to go to the mall to get the right shirt, pants, hat, and accessories to make sure I was looking good when I was going out. Now, I just don’t get fashion. I think the reason kids today are so dumb is because their clothes are too tight and they’re cutting off oxygen to their brain. I’m no longer worried about looking cool; I just want to look presentable. Im about buying clothes that make me look like I am successful, because looking swag isn’t going to get me 6 figure job.

Updating my life on social media

When I was in college, making sure your Facebook friends, twitter followers, Instagram viewers know every move I made, from what I had for breakfast to my McDonalds order and that funny video of the cat and baby doing that cute and funny thing that all of my friends already posted. Posting “where’s party for the tonight?” was close second to candy crush invites. Now I really don’t care what if you know what I’m


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