- Gender and Relationships
The Three Big Red Flags To Look Out For When Dating
What has been your dating Foux Pas?
What was the worst thing you noticed about your dating interest?
- He or she was still dependent on their parents.
- He or she was emotionally shut off/unstable.
- He or she was immature with no hope in site of becoming a complete adult?
If you experienced any of the above, was it an immediate deal-breaker for you, or did you hold out that he/she would change? Share your story!
Worst Choice For Dating Is...
I bet that if you knew someone was emotionally scarred, you'd stop dating them immediately. Or let's just say, if he or she had a scarlet letter of dysfunctional behavior stamped on their forehead, you would never accept a single date, right?
Neither would I.
We are all allowed to make our faux pas when it comes to dating. After all, if you're optimistic, you wish for the best, right? Goodness knows I've had my share of bloopers, blurbs and mishaps I'd like to accept for a lifetime.
But there's hope. I know because I've read books about it.
Here are the three major blunders about a person's upbringing that you should consider when you start dating someone:
- The perpetual child. For women, they would call him a "man-boy" or "Peter Pan." For men, they'd call her a "drama-queen" or "daddy's girl." All in all, it's the same concept: someone who never grew up emotionally. He or she never crossed over from "Neverland" to take on adult responsibilities. Men with this affliction may be adventurous, playful and immature, but the childish qualities will come to a bitter end when you expect him to make adult decisions when your future is at stake.The women who are stuck in child-mode are going to be drama queens, have temper tantrums when they don't have their way, and expect you to fill in the fun times their daddy never filled in for them. It's a lose-lose situation. Either way, they're not complete people.
- The broken wing. This man or woman was forced in their childhood to deal with adult situations, decisions or responsibilities, well before their emotional maturity was ready to handle it. For instance, it could be a man who was forced to be the "man of the house" when he was ten, because his father left the home then. Or, it may be a woman who is forever scarred by being sexually abused by someone she trusted as a child. No matter what the circumstance was, broken wing children grow up to become adults who were forced into adult situations they weren't ready for. Their adult relationships will reflect this and suffer because of it. They need to go back to the childlike state of innocence and deal with what hurt them before they can move forward in life.
- The movie lover. This is not reflective of your choice in entertainment. This involves men and women who because of their dramatic childhood choose partners in life that depict their accustomed characters, like in a cinema of their lives. It's what you feel when deja vous creeps into your life, leaving you with the sinking feeling that you've been there, done that, and you can't seem to move on from an issue, regardless of the promises from your significant other of "changing." Until he or she makes a breakthrough of self-reflection of what steers them astray from healthy relationships and makes a conscious effort to change, you won't see any difference in your movie choices. Drama 101 will play out day after day.
If you would like to learn more about relationship dysfunction or how to improve your love life, stay in tune to my site to learn new and provocative material. Share what you know, and I'll share it in my next Hub. Thanks for reading, and happy loving in your life!