ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Gender and Relationships»
  • Marriage

The Transition of My Husband: The True story of my Life with a Transgender

Updated on January 15, 2014
Transgender
Transgender | Source

Shock.

I stood on the stool, looking into the top cupboard of the wardrobe. I stared for about five minutes, and my mind didn't really understand what it was seeing. I had been foraging around for a pair of pajamas, as my partner was in hospital having a small operation, and I couldn't find any in the usual places, like the airing cupboard, or the wash basket. So, after shuffling through all the clothes and sheets, I suddenly remembered the small cupboard that he always seemed to be going to. It was too high for me, so i usually left it alone, as It didn't hold anything of interest to me. Or so I thought. after clambering on the bed, I decided that I wouldn't still be able to reach, so I got the stool. Opening the cupboard, I realised that there were lots of clothes inside, and, reaching in, I pulled them towards me,

To start with, I just found a pair of trousers and a shirt, but at the back, I could see something that did not look quite right. It was shiny and red, not something I would expect a man to wear. I did not know what it was, but the colour seemed strange to me, as my husband tended to wear black or dark blue.

I reached in, and grabbed the clothing, and a funny thing happened. As I slowly began to pull it towards me, I realised, with a shiver, that the world had started to tilt. I knew, I just knew, instinctively, that this item of clothing was going to change my perspective of my marriage, and my whole world. My heart started beating very quickly, and my hands became clammy. The material began to slip through my fingers, as though, somewhere in the back of my mind, a voice was shouting, NO, DON'T PICK IT UP. Put it back, go downstairs and make yourself a cup of coffee. Forget it. Hide, be normal, feel safe, don't let the world tilt sideways.


But I found that I couldn't let go of the cloth. My rational mind tried to overcome the clamouring, and I continued to pull it towards me. My legs started to feel like jelly, and my hands were shaking badly. I let go of the cupboard door and balanced on the stool. I began to breath again slowly, realising that I had been holding my breath. I closed my eyes, and shook the cloth out, so that I could see it. I opened my eyes and looked. There in my hands was a red slinky blouse. I knew it wasn't mine, as it wasn't the sort of thing that I would wear.
The stool started to tilt as I found myself fading, my head was floating as though someone had given me a drug, that made me float towards the stars.
He's having an affair!
OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, oh my God........my legs began to shake uncontrollably, and somehow I managed to get down on to the floor and make my way across to the bed.
I can't remember how long I sat there. The room was spinning, my head felt light, and I felt sick to my stomach, sick in my head, and the words HE'S HAVING AN AFFAIR, HE'S CHEATING ON ME... went spinning around my head. I can't remember starting to cry, and was surprised when I realised that there were drops of water on my hands, on the cloth, on the bed. My heart was breaking, I felt it crack, slowly opening like a flower, and then wilting in pieces onto the floor.
It was 7.30 in the morning, my son was still in bed, and I had to get him to school. But I didn't know how. I didn't know anything.
Somehow, amongst the rubble of my heart, a feeling began to come back, and I pulled myself up, staggered to the cupboard, and climbed back up. A small voice in my brain said, WAIT, WAIT, maybe there is another explanation. Maybe you are making a mistake.
How can he be having an affair? He doesn't go anywhere, only fishing, and that’s with your best friends boyfriend, and her brother.
It can't be possible.
I started to breath again, calm down even. But then I looked in the cupboard once more. There were blouses, knickers, silk vest like clothes, not camisoles exactly but similar, less sexy but more practical.
I couldn't understand it. I was still shaking, and with these discoveries I began to fade again.

If You Would Like To Read The Full Story Of The Transition Of My Husband The Story Of My Life With A Transgender Please Click On The Link Below.

My Life With A Transgender

My story has been a long hard journey. I was faced with a situation that I would never in my wildest dreams believed could happen to me. Why me? Out of all the millions of happy couples out there, why did I find and marry the one man in a thousand that would want to be a woman?

Was it something that I did? Wasn't I woman enough for him? All these thoughts cascaded through my mind, over and over. How would the world see us? How would my friends see me. I knew I was on trial and the people out there my jury. How I would react would define who I was.

eBook

There are many books out there that tell the story of the person who is having a gender crisis. But this is my story. The wife. The mother. From the first realisation and shock, to facing up to the bullying taunts of people shouting 'Freak, Freak' at me and my husband.

We see how I fell to pieces when I first found out the truth. And how I felt about my husband beginning to look and feel like a woman.

Read about how I faced the bullies and kicked ass! And then of course there was that night when I ended up on top of a caravan roof with a hot guy!

But the spookiest part was the Dream. Only it wasn't just a dream, it was a prophecy.

And if that wasn't enough we got thrust into the world of camera's and Magazines, and all this just because of the man I married.

Please click on the Amazon link to read more. Thank you.


Transition The Story Of My Life With A Transgender At Amazon.co.uk.




All Rights reserved.

Copyright Nell Rose

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

      Thanks Deb, I will get to your hubs, just a mad saturday! lol! yes it was pretty bizarre! but we are still friends, and yes I would love to hear about your husband.

    • Lady Guinevere profile image

      Debra Allen 3 years ago from West By God

      Wow and I just read this one. What a shock for you. Someday I must tell you something about my husband .......

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

      Hi BeatsMe, thanks so much I wish others would feel like you do, thanks!

    • BeatsMe profile image

      BeatsMe 4 years ago

      Life is full of surprises. It's not his fault and it's not your fault either. Good luck. :)

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

      Thanks Lizzy, it was hard at the time back then but these days luckily people seem to have accepted him I think or so he says when I see him, thanks so much, nell

    • DzyMsLizzy profile image

      Liz Elias 4 years ago from Oakley, CA

      You are very brave to tell your story, and in the end, I believe it will help with understanding and stopping the demonization of those perceived to be "different."

      Brava!

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

      Thank you ivy, nell

    • profile image

      ivy 4 years ago

      It is nice to see a happy real transgender story all the best you have a wonder wife.

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks so much Mazzy, yes it was a difficult time, but it still goes on really, thanks for reading, nell

    • Mazzy Bolero profile image

      Mazzy Bolero 5 years ago from the U.K.

      I can't imagine what it must be like to wake up every day feeling you are in the wrong body - but people often forget what the partner must go through. The shock of finding your life wasn't actually what you believed it was - the effect that must have on you, the change in the way you would see life - as well as the effect on your children. Your book should be an intriguing read.

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks Vinaya, strange story! wow!

    • Vinaya Ghimire profile image

      Vinaya Ghimire 5 years ago from Nepal

      I have read a true story of a Nepali woman tricked to marry a transgender in Canada. Her testimony was shocking, however,yours is a compelling story. Thanks for sharing this inspiring piece.

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      So sorry CMM, your comment went into the spam filters, just found it. Thanks for reading, nell

    • profile image

      CMM 5 years ago

      Hi Nell, I will read your book. My husband of 20 years left the house this past spring with no notice, 2 days later he left me a voicemail saying he was sorry he didn't call but he's going through with his transition. I didn't even know what it meant. I have three boys aged 10,12,14, who no longer have a "father". It has been incredibly difficult to work through his transition, which is complicated by the two of us working together in his family's business. My research has led me to all kinds of web pages and message boards but one thing that I hang on to is that "if I'm Ok, the boys will be Ok. I pray that we will all be ok. We are separated and are trying to get to a place where everyone is comfortable with one another. Very hard on boys, must say I'm ok with him/her except when I see him with the boys and then I feel very unaccepting - something I'll have to work on in therapy.

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi lyric, thanks so much, I don't think many people will buy it, but oh well never mind, I got it all out! lol!

    • thelyricwriter profile image

      Richard Ricky Hale 5 years ago from West Virginia

      Nell, once again, congrats on the book. I think your brave for writing about it, not in a bad way, but good. Just to be open and letting others into your life can be difficult, with your situation or not. We all find out secrets, lies, ect. and it can be tough on the heart. So kudos to you Nell and I hope it becomes a best seller:) You deserve it. You're such a great writer!

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks klara, sorry it took me so long to answer, long day! lol! I really appreciate you reading, thanks again nell

    • profile image

      klarawieck 5 years ago

      Nell, I'd like to buy the book, but I'm not sure if I can pay for it in dollars. I'd appreciate you telling me how it works. Do I need a Kindle to read the book?

      First of all, the way you describe the scene, pausing to make an emphasis on the internal battle between logic and gut feeling, comes across and grabs the reader from the get-go. This is a book I'd like to read. It's simply unfair to pull an individual down with you simply because you're coming to terms with your own demons. I had a friend that was in a similar situation as yours. Her husband was homosexual and she caught him in the act. But regardless of sexual orientation, what hurts the most is being cheated, learning that the one person you trusted with your life has been lying to your face. It's a horrible feeling. I only hope that you've learned whatever lesson you were supposed to learn from all this. I know you've moved on to higher grounds. Your soul wouldn't shine as it does it you were still drowning in this stagnant pool of deceit and lies.

      I look forward to reading your story. Thanks for sharing it with everyone. You're creating an awareness and that's important.

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi Jools, I am working on it, as I have just published it as an ebook, I need to add bits and take bits away, it was a very large hub before but I need to do the links etc, but thanks so much for reading, cheers nell

    • Jools99 profile image

      Jools99 5 years ago from North-East UK

      Nell, a very interesting hub. Voted up and shared.

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi tillsontitan, thank you so much. It was so hard at the time, and you were lucky to catch this hub because I am just about to change it because I have just published my ebook. Mind you it took some doing! I kept getting a link to someones hub on it! but I did it again, and now I know what I am doing it will be fine in the future. I lost my dad in 98 and my mum a year later so it was a nightmare, thanks so much for reading it and you lovely comments, nell

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 5 years ago from New York

      Whenever I have a spare moment I try to read my friends older hubs. I came across this one and was totally awed! You may think you are weak but you are the strongest person I know. This is an incredible story and your beautiful personality comes shining through. You endured so much pain and yet you went on and learned more about your husband's situation and chose to cope with it.

      You have suffered a lot and the loss of your Dad on top of everything else! God Bless you and your son.

      You are a wonderful writer with a light heart Nell. You've come through this with flying colors!

      If there was an incredible button I'd push it. Not just for your experiences, but the fact that you wrote them here and kept it interesting though sad.

      Voted up, awesome and interesting.

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks billy, it was hard at the time, in fact it was a nightmare, but it has worked itself out now, but not in the way I would like. Somethings just can't be changed, even though I wanted him to be 'normal'. I am just finishing my ebook about this, so I will be changing some of the above, hopefully I can reach out to others in this situation. Strangely enough I have a friend who's dad did it too! thanks as always, nell

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Amazingly, Nell, I missed this story. I am literally speechless trying to think of something intelligent to say. That seems to be out of my grasp.

      You are a strong person. He is a strong person. Your son may be stronger than both of you. This is a remarkable story filled with every emotion known to man.

      Thank you for opening your heart so that others might learn.

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks raciniwa, it was depressing at the time, in fact it was a nightmare, but we had to move on, thanks so much, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, audra, thanks so much, it was really difficult at the time, in fact I am sure I had a nervous breakdown, but what with my kidney problem, and all the shock I don't know exactly what happened back then, I am turning this into an ebook, and in fact I have nearly finished, so thanks so much for reading, if it only helps one person then its worth writing the book, thanks!

    • profile image

      iamaudraleigh 5 years ago

      Nell,

      I wanted to look at past stories of the great writers on hub pages, including you. I came acrossed this story about your husband and read a spectacular piece on your relationship. I am glad you were able to write and share your story. I commend you!

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks PDX, much appreciated!

    • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

      Justin W Price 5 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

      Nell... pinned

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks so much louromano, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks so much LABrashear, nell

    • LABrashear profile image

      LABrashear 5 years ago from My Perfect Place, USA

      Nell,

      You are a very strong woman. I applaud you for standing tall and pushing through your dark times.

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks PDX, it will be a while yet! lol! I seem to get distracted easily these days!

    • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

      Justin W Price 5 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

      nell.. i'll be sure to read the rest before you take it down. I have no way to read an e book!

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks winbo.

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, neeleshkulkarni, I just appreciate you reading it, and I am so grateful for your kind words, and I send a great big hug back, thank you!

    • neeleshkulkarni profile image

      neeleshkulkarni 5 years ago from new delhi

      I am sitting here stunned, stunned at the raw emotion just bursting out of the pages, stunned at the intensity of the emotion in the words, stunned at the courage of a wonderful brave woman who had the guts to come out and write something like this.If just reading about it got tears to my eyes i can not even dare to imagine what it must have been to go through it and yet what effort it would have taken to rebuild a life.

      I am torn between the desire to read the other two parts and not knowing if i have the courage to read them and face your truth.

      You are an amazing woman Nell. I just wish i had arms long enough to reach across the oceans and hug you.

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, Sunnie, sorry my pc is playing up, took me ages to get back on! thanks for coming back, your mother in law was so right, it could have been so bad if I had moved, I had lost my dad, then my mum a few months later, so I was in a real state, but my ex was there to pick up the pieces, so thats really why we still live in the same house, thanks for the prayers and hugs, and sending a hug back for thanks!

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, Deborah, thanks so much for your kind words, much appreciated, nell

    • profile image

      Sunnie Day 5 years ago

      Oh, Nell...I am sorry about your dad as well...sometimes it may feel like as if the world is on your shoulders but I know as time goes an answer will come and you will know what to do. Knowing if you did the right thing is the hardest question of all. For now, you did not jump, and you tried to understand. Maybe you did not have enough strength to move at that time with the death of your father as well. Home was probably the place to be. This was your life mate, it was right you tried to find answers. You needed to do this...

      Knowing things will not probably ever go back to the way it was but it would be something that you have to decide with what you can live with. You also deserve to be happy and be loved the way you need to be loved. I know the answers live inside you and I pray for peace and guidance as you walk through this.

      Many will tell you to do different things but you have to make that decision. A stirring will cause you to evaluate your situation, a quiet voice within; if that happens you will find the strength to do what you need to do. No doubt, this was such a major shock and you needed time to process all of this. My wise mother in law told me once when something major happened to me…STOP do not move...wait... I did and as time passed I found healing. Sending many prayers and hugs.

    • DeborahNeyens profile image

      Deborah Neyens 5 years ago from Iowa

      What an incredible story, Nell. You are a strong, amazing woman and a wonderful writer.

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, Sunnie, I also went to evening school to study it after it happened, I was just so confused, I believed he was lying to me, and this was an opt out! but when I realised it was a real thing I tried to accept it, did I do the right thing? I have no idea! but that was a while ago, and so many horrible things were going on too, my dad passed away, then my mum and we clung to each other, mentally I mean, then it just seems to have stagnated, he lives upstairs, I live down! no idea where its going, and to be quite honest I don't think I could ever marry again, thanks for reading, cheers nell

    • profile image

      Sunnie Day 5 years ago

      Dear Nell,

      I just now am reading this and I am so impressed with your honesty and strength. Your heart is amazing and your husband is very blessed to have you still in his life. I am sure there is so much that can not be explained but it is that way with the common affair as someone looks at his or her spouse questioning who they really are. I cant imagine the pain your own husband has went through not being able to tell you but now that it is all out, somehow you have managed to go on, freeing yourself and him as well. I did a paper in college on Transgender and it opened my eyes so much. There is so much more to this than people realize, and like many all they want is to be loved just like everyone else. Their outside does not see what is on the inside. It is a life long struggle if they are not able to be set free. Sometimes they dont even know and try their best to fit into sociatel norms. They live in fear of being an outcast. Thank you Nell..I pray you continue to grow and your life is still filled with much love.

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, Katrine, thank you so much, it was hard at that time, and just writing it brought it all back, they say write about what you know! lol! thanks!

    • profile image

      KatrineDalMonte 5 years ago

      Hi Nell, this is an incredible story and the way you have written it had me glued to my chair from your 1st word to the end. You have gone through so much, I so admire you for your courage, your understanding, your way of dealing with it all...I think it was good for you to write this article, to pour your heart out, it often helps to share our feelings and pain with others. Voted up and awesome. Take care.

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks alisha, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks so much Audrey, I really appreciate it, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks Marcy, good luck with your hub about your sons experiences, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks cclitgirl, it just came from the heart, and it really helped me to write it down, sort of a cleansing thing! lol! nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, Victoria, I think when something like this is so real to you, it just pours out onto the page, so to speak, thanks for reading, cheers nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks PDX, I just felt like I needed to get the story out there, I will take it down soon though as I am making it into an ebook, thanks so much, and as you can see with your friend, its more common that I thought before, much appreciated, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks so much sweeetguide, I really appreciate it, nell

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 5 years ago from California

      Thank you for sharing this with us Nell. This is an amazing story and your heart is in every word.

    • Marcy Goodfleisch profile image

      Marcy Goodfleisch 5 years ago from Planet Earth

      What an incredible, gripping story, Nell. I've debated writing about some experiences with one of my sons. Your story here may give me the courage. I'm so glad you shared all of this - your words took us through every emotion you felt, as well as the anguish your husband experienced. Great job. Voted up and awesome.

    • cclitgirl profile image

      Cynthia Sageleaf 5 years ago from Western NC

      Wow, Nell, you had me compelled from start to finish. What a story! A pillar of strength you are! Thank you for sharing this. I also think this will help other people in similar situations. Voted up and across.

    • Victoria Lynn profile image

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Wow, what a story and how well-told. Your writing here is incredible. I felt the shock, the abyss--you portrayed all those feelings and I read in wonder and awe from beginning until end. Good for you for sharing your story--and good for us that you told it so amazingly well. voted up and everything else!

    • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

      Justin W Price 5 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

      nell. I'm going to share this. i recently had a friend make the transition, and that was weird... but not as weird as it would be for a husband. I can't wait to read the rest of the story. You are a strong and incredible woman, Nell. Thanks for having the bravery to share this story!

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thank you princess, much appreciated, nell

    • princesswithapen profile image

      princesswithapen 5 years ago

      You definitely have your way with words and as a reader, it felt as if the situation was unfolding right in front of computer screen. A touching and warming, yet very numbing story, is the best way to describe this beautiful hub.

      Princesswithapen

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks Mark, yes it was really, really hard, and to be honest it still is, but we seem to be friends now, not sure how that happened! haha! I go out with other guys, and he or she isn't happy about it, but hey thats tough! thanks again, nell

    • Mark Pitts profile image

      Mark Pitts 5 years ago from United States

      I am "catching up" with the wonderful people I have met via Hub Pages, and i just got the chance to start reading this series about your life. You are amazing, and I admire both you and your spouse for the love you both do have for each other, but especially you, because you had to accept an event and have the strength to not let it become a judgement in your mind on you. I am humbled by sort of knowing you.

    • profile image

      Louise 5 years ago

      Hi Nell, Thank you for your reply, I too have no where to go...She is now in a relationship and we are still living in the same house, I meet people and your right as soon as they find out who I live with its like a have the plague as I don't ever see them again.

      It is very lonely and I have thought about suicide but my kids stop me from ending that way, I have to be strong for the kids, but they is only so much strength you have got..I have friends who tell me to get out, but its not that easy.again thank you,x

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thank you so much Genesis, I really appreciate your comments, it was hard realising that my husband was so different, but you get used to it and try and move on, sometimes though its hard as we don't have a lot of family between us to help us move out or away, so we make the best of what we have got, thanks so much, nell

    • Genesis profile image

      Genesis 5 years ago from Canada

      I spent the entire day thinking about you, and I would like you to know that your courage is admirable! I'm completely in awe of you, and have a lot of respect for you as a person even though we've never met. Your story totally warmed my heart, and I wish you all the best always.

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      The way I felt it was more physical! lol! thanks Pc!

    • Pcunix profile image

      Tony Lawrence 5 years ago from SE MA

      They say a mental murder a day keeps the psychiatrists at bay..

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, Pcunix, thanks, it is difficult, and sometimes I want to strangle him or whatever, but most of the time we keep out of each others way! lol!

    • Pcunix profile image

      Tony Lawrence 5 years ago from SE MA

      What a great story and so well told.

      Good on both of you!

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks guys, it was a crazy time, and of course it still goes on today, nothing has changed, he/she lives upstairs I live down, I do miss male company and occasionally wander so to speak, appreciate you reading, and thanks!

    • Jynzly profile image

      Jenny Pugh 5 years ago from Marion, Indiana, USA

      O my God, you are a courageous lady Nell; I am speechless.

      Jynzly

    • reikieffect profile image

      reikieffect 5 years ago

      You are a strong lady! I admire your capacity to turn things around and take the most of situations.

    • YogaKat profile image

      YogaKat 5 years ago from Oahu Hawaii

      Very beautiful writing on your tragic experience . . . the lessons you learned, and your recovery. I'm not sure how long after the incident you were able to write this . . . my incident was eight years ago . . . not ready quite yet. The world needs to hear inspirational stories like this one.

    • pooilum profile image

      pooilum 5 years ago from Malaysia

      interesting..

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, Greg, to start with yes, then when I got to writing, it just sort of flowed out, and before I knew it, there it was in all its full glory, by this time I realised that ignoring it, or trying to hide it didn't work, its best hit it head on when something like this happens with your partner, thanks so much for reading, cheers nell

    • Greg Sereda profile image

      Greg Sereda 5 years ago from Sandomierz, Poland

      That was really something. I have never read an article like this. What it difficult for you to begin sharing this experience in writing?

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, girltalk, thanks for reading, it was a nightmare simple as that, If I had thought it through better it would have been different, but at the time you just can't think straight, thanks!

    • profile image

      girltalksshop 5 years ago

      How awful and shocking it would be to find out such a thing about the man you trusted with your heart and devoted the rest of your life to! I use to fear my ex-husband was gay when I was still with him, as he always chose to hang out with his friends at the bar, instead of me. I admire your courage for sharing this with us. Not sure what I would have done in your shoes...voted it useful and interesting.

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks Mikey!

    • profile image

      mikeydcarroll67 5 years ago

      This is definitely an interesting hub! Glad you shared this today!

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thank you so muc aslaught, it was traumatic, but its fine now, sort of! lol!

    • aslaught profile image

      aslaught 5 years ago from Alabama

      Thank you for sharing a truly tramatic time in your life. For you, as well as your son and husband. You're very brave. I honestly don't know what I would have done in your shoes. Thank you for sharing.

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, thanks homestead, not much choice i'm afraid, I don't have anywhere else to go, but thank you.

      Hi, Sinea, thanks so much, we all seem to have something in our lives that make it difficult especially marriage problems, it just seems normal to me now, and thats the scary thing, thanks nell

    • Sinea Pies profile image

      Sinea Pies 5 years ago from Northeastern United States

      Nell...all I can say is "wow". You are a strong lady and compassionate. I've been through some seriously difficult discoveries over the years but yours tops them by far. These are the kinds of times that I find that prayer is what gets me through. Many blessings on you.

    • homesteadbound profile image

      Cindy Murdoch 5 years ago from Texas

      You are one special lady to continue living in the same home.

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, tammy, thanks so much, I am in the process of writing it now, but I need a new pc, this one is so slow! lol! I have started writing it, but I think I need to add quite a lot, so I need to think back and get it in order, fingers crossed it should be finished soon, thanks!

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, homestead, thanks so much, it was difficult, and he still shares the home, but we try and keep away from each othe most of the time! lol!

    • tammyswallow profile image

      Tammy 5 years ago from North Carolina

      You are a strong and courageous woman! I hope you will one day write a book about this experience. Your story is compelling to say the least. Bravo!

    • homesteadbound profile image

      Cindy Murdoch 5 years ago from Texas

      Wow! What courage for you to tell your story. I admire you and your courage. You are a very special woman. I look forward to reading the rest of the story!

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, Sunshine, thank you so much, as you can see above, it was so difficult, not much better now with him to be quite honest! lol!

      Hi, alocsin, thanks so much, nell

      Hi, Cagsil, thanks for reading, I am glad you are happy, we all need to get to where we are and who we want to be, and that is the most important thing, in my case, I didn't dislike my husband for doing it, its his body at the end of the day, but its the way he did it, he should never have married me, thanks again nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, Louise, its a nightmare, simple as that, I think the main problem is we get trapped in a web of lies and deceit, not knowing how to handle something so horrible about someone we love. if they had an affair, we would know what to do, but there is nothing in the rule book that tells us how to handle a man changing into a woman, especially the one we are married too, and of course there is the children, if we were single we could walk away, if mentally we could bring ourselves to, but with children it is like the web gets tighter and we are well and truly stuck. I think you, like me, thought it would be easy to treat them as a friend, but we are kidding ourselves, and what about us? are we not allowed to have a normal married life? and what about the physical side? these men are the most selfish of men, at least with an affair we could walk away, have an affair, and so on, they expect us to give up our womanhood for them, in fact let them take over and be the woman. we lose our self respect, feel like losers, and what we don't realise is that no man out there wants to go out with a woman who has a man/woman at home, unless we move away where no one knows us, we may as well have the plague! I feel for you, and the most important thing for you is to do what you think is right. staying with him means giving up your physical relationship side, and believe me, its lonely, and to leave will hurt others. but please listen to me, go now. otherwise you will be stuck forever, and it gets dark down here, take care, and good luck, nell

    • Cagsil profile image

      Cagsil 5 years ago from USA or America

      Hey Nell, that is certainly quite a story and not having lived through it myself, I'm pretty much at a loss of words. I've heard things like this happening and I've never dismiss the thoughts of others with regards to it happening. I just couldn't see myself in that particular situation(speaking about your husband's issue with himself). I guess I went through sexuality of self through experimenting and not much parenting. My own sexuality was never a topic that was discussed in my home. I am comfortable with who I am and have come to accept myself. Thank you for sharing your experience in this matter. It's a show of pure courage. :) Voted up! :)

    • alocsin profile image

      alocsin 5 years ago from Orange County, CA

      Thank you for sharing this difficult and amazing story. It is good to read about the transgendered issue from all sides. Voting this Up and Awesome.

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Nell...I'm sending you some hub hugs and hublove! You are an amazing woman as is your family.

    • profile image

      Louise 5 years ago

      Thank you Nell for this, I thought I was a nasty person thinking this, as I too have an hubby that is now a women and we still live in the same house, we are not a couple anymore but our children love her and I could not take her away from them, but me myself have been finding it really hard to deal with, I thought I would find it easy to support her and be her friend, but I was so wrong, It has been the most painful journey of my life.

      Reading this has made me understand that I am not alone, and although we do still have good times and laughter, I am not wrong in how I feel. thank you, Louise.

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks susannah, I am in the process of turning it into an ebook, didn't realise how much I had to write! lol!

      Hi, Patricia, yes laughter is the thing that we both have in common with each other, thank goodness! thanks for reading, cheers nell

    • profile image

      PatriciaVogl57 5 years ago

      You are recovering from it well and in the stages that you should be. You may have changed roles in your relationship, but sure sound like you have plenty of laughter and not only that, it is real!

    • susannah42 profile image

      susannah42 5 years ago from Florida

      What a good story and very well written. Thanks for sharing, You are a brave women.

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks poet, it was so hard at the time, everything around me was like a nightmare, not just him but what with my mum and dad too, I think I went a bit mad when going out just to balance the whole thing, thank you so much for your kind words, nell

    • poetvix profile image

      poetvix 5 years ago from Gone from Texas but still in the south. Surrounded by God's country.

      I can't imagine the strength it took for you to write this or the pain and confusion you must have gone through. I don't think there are words to describe such. No matter his appearance or choice of clothing, it's obvious you love each other. That is what is important. Bless you and your family, especially your son. Children can be so cruel to their own peers at times for no reason other than they can. It doesn't help at all, but he will be stronger for having survived and know himself and what he stands for all the more. Thank you for sharing something so real and so personal. I think we can all learn lessons in devotion, loyalty and the heart of what love is from this.

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, Fenn, thanks so much for reading, it was hard at the time, I really felt as though my husband was alien to me, but we seem to have settled down in our own way now. I am actually going to write an ebook about my life with my husband, I am in the process now, this will be part of it, but of course there will be much more, thanks nell