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The Transition of My Husband: The True story of my Life with a Transgender

Updated on January 15, 2014
Transgender | Source


I stood on the stool, looking into the top cupboard of the wardrobe. I stared for about five minutes, and my mind didn't really understand what it was seeing. I had been foraging around for a pair of pajamas, as my partner was in hospital having a small operation, and I couldn't find any in the usual places, like the airing cupboard, or the wash basket. So, after shuffling through all the clothes and sheets, I suddenly remembered the small cupboard that he always seemed to be going to. It was too high for me, so i usually left it alone, as It didn't hold anything of interest to me. Or so I thought. after clambering on the bed, I decided that I wouldn't still be able to reach, so I got the stool. Opening the cupboard, I realised that there were lots of clothes inside, and, reaching in, I pulled them towards me,

To start with, I just found a pair of trousers and a shirt, but at the back, I could see something that did not look quite right. It was shiny and red, not something I would expect a man to wear. I did not know what it was, but the colour seemed strange to me, as my husband tended to wear black or dark blue.

I reached in, and grabbed the clothing, and a funny thing happened. As I slowly began to pull it towards me, I realised, with a shiver, that the world had started to tilt. I knew, I just knew, instinctively, that this item of clothing was going to change my perspective of my marriage, and my whole world. My heart started beating very quickly, and my hands became clammy. The material began to slip through my fingers, as though, somewhere in the back of my mind, a voice was shouting, NO, DON'T PICK IT UP. Put it back, go downstairs and make yourself a cup of coffee. Forget it. Hide, be normal, feel safe, don't let the world tilt sideways.

But I found that I couldn't let go of the cloth. My rational mind tried to overcome the clamouring, and I continued to pull it towards me. My legs started to feel like jelly, and my hands were shaking badly. I let go of the cupboard door and balanced on the stool. I began to breath again slowly, realising that I had been holding my breath. I closed my eyes, and shook the cloth out, so that I could see it. I opened my eyes and looked. There in my hands was a red slinky blouse. I knew it wasn't mine, as it wasn't the sort of thing that I would wear.
The stool started to tilt as I found myself fading, my head was floating as though someone had given me a drug, that made me float towards the stars.
He's having an affair!
OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, oh my legs began to shake uncontrollably, and somehow I managed to get down on to the floor and make my way across to the bed.
I can't remember how long I sat there. The room was spinning, my head felt light, and I felt sick to my stomach, sick in my head, and the words HE'S HAVING AN AFFAIR, HE'S CHEATING ON ME... went spinning around my head. I can't remember starting to cry, and was surprised when I realised that there were drops of water on my hands, on the cloth, on the bed. My heart was breaking, I felt it crack, slowly opening like a flower, and then wilting in pieces onto the floor.
It was 7.30 in the morning, my son was still in bed, and I had to get him to school. But I didn't know how. I didn't know anything.
Somehow, amongst the rubble of my heart, a feeling began to come back, and I pulled myself up, staggered to the cupboard, and climbed back up. A small voice in my brain said, WAIT, WAIT, maybe there is another explanation. Maybe you are making a mistake.
How can he be having an affair? He doesn't go anywhere, only fishing, and that’s with your best friends boyfriend, and her brother.
It can't be possible.
I started to breath again, calm down even. But then I looked in the cupboard once more. There were blouses, knickers, silk vest like clothes, not camisoles exactly but similar, less sexy but more practical.
I couldn't understand it. I was still shaking, and with these discoveries I began to fade again.

If You Would Like To Read The Full Story Of The Transition Of My Husband The Story Of My Life With A Transgender Please Click On The Link Below.

My Life With A Transgender

My story has been a long hard journey. I was faced with a situation that I would never in my wildest dreams believed could happen to me. Why me? Out of all the millions of happy couples out there, why did I find and marry the one man in a thousand that would want to be a woman?

Was it something that I did? Wasn't I woman enough for him? All these thoughts cascaded through my mind, over and over. How would the world see us? How would my friends see me. I knew I was on trial and the people out there my jury. How I would react would define who I was.


There are many books out there that tell the story of the person who is having a gender crisis. But this is my story. The wife. The mother. From the first realisation and shock, to facing up to the bullying taunts of people shouting 'Freak, Freak' at me and my husband.

We see how I fell to pieces when I first found out the truth. And how I felt about my husband beginning to look and feel like a woman.

Read about how I faced the bullies and kicked ass! And then of course there was that night when I ended up on top of a caravan roof with a hot guy!

But the spookiest part was the Dream. Only it wasn't just a dream, it was a prophecy.

And if that wasn't enough we got thrust into the world of camera's and Magazines, and all this just because of the man I married.

Please click on the Amazon link to read more. Thank you.

Transition The Story Of My Life With A Transgender At

All Rights reserved.

Copyright Nell Rose


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    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Thanks Deb, I will get to your hubs, just a mad saturday! lol! yes it was pretty bizarre! but we are still friends, and yes I would love to hear about your husband.

    • Lady Guinevere profile image

      Debra Allen 2 years ago from West By God

      Wow and I just read this one. What a shock for you. Someday I must tell you something about my husband .......

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

      Hi BeatsMe, thanks so much I wish others would feel like you do, thanks!

    • BeatsMe profile image

      BeatsMe 3 years ago

      Life is full of surprises. It's not his fault and it's not your fault either. Good luck. :)

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

      Thanks Lizzy, it was hard at the time back then but these days luckily people seem to have accepted him I think or so he says when I see him, thanks so much, nell

    • DzyMsLizzy profile image

      Liz Elias 3 years ago from Oakley, CA

      You are very brave to tell your story, and in the end, I believe it will help with understanding and stopping the demonization of those perceived to be "different."


    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

      Thank you ivy, nell

    • profile image

      ivy 3 years ago

      It is nice to see a happy real transgender story all the best you have a wonder wife.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

      Thanks so much Mazzy, yes it was a difficult time, but it still goes on really, thanks for reading, nell

    • Mazzy Bolero profile image

      Mazzy Bolero 4 years ago from the U.K.

      I can't imagine what it must be like to wake up every day feeling you are in the wrong body - but people often forget what the partner must go through. The shock of finding your life wasn't actually what you believed it was - the effect that must have on you, the change in the way you would see life - as well as the effect on your children. Your book should be an intriguing read.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

      Thanks Vinaya, strange story! wow!

    • Vinaya Ghimire profile image

      Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal

      I have read a true story of a Nepali woman tricked to marry a transgender in Canada. Her testimony was shocking, however,yours is a compelling story. Thanks for sharing this inspiring piece.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

      So sorry CMM, your comment went into the spam filters, just found it. Thanks for reading, nell

    • profile image

      CMM 4 years ago

      Hi Nell, I will read your book. My husband of 20 years left the house this past spring with no notice, 2 days later he left me a voicemail saying he was sorry he didn't call but he's going through with his transition. I didn't even know what it meant. I have three boys aged 10,12,14, who no longer have a "father". It has been incredibly difficult to work through his transition, which is complicated by the two of us working together in his family's business. My research has led me to all kinds of web pages and message boards but one thing that I hang on to is that "if I'm Ok, the boys will be Ok. I pray that we will all be ok. We are separated and are trying to get to a place where everyone is comfortable with one another. Very hard on boys, must say I'm ok with him/her except when I see him with the boys and then I feel very unaccepting - something I'll have to work on in therapy.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi lyric, thanks so much, I don't think many people will buy it, but oh well never mind, I got it all out! lol!

    • thelyricwriter profile image

      Richard Ricky Hale 5 years ago from West Virginia

      Nell, once again, congrats on the book. I think your brave for writing about it, not in a bad way, but good. Just to be open and letting others into your life can be difficult, with your situation or not. We all find out secrets, lies, ect. and it can be tough on the heart. So kudos to you Nell and I hope it becomes a best seller:) You deserve it. You're such a great writer!

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks klara, sorry it took me so long to answer, long day! lol! I really appreciate you reading, thanks again nell

    • profile image

      klarawieck 5 years ago

      Nell, I'd like to buy the book, but I'm not sure if I can pay for it in dollars. I'd appreciate you telling me how it works. Do I need a Kindle to read the book?

      First of all, the way you describe the scene, pausing to make an emphasis on the internal battle between logic and gut feeling, comes across and grabs the reader from the get-go. This is a book I'd like to read. It's simply unfair to pull an individual down with you simply because you're coming to terms with your own demons. I had a friend that was in a similar situation as yours. Her husband was homosexual and she caught him in the act. But regardless of sexual orientation, what hurts the most is being cheated, learning that the one person you trusted with your life has been lying to your face. It's a horrible feeling. I only hope that you've learned whatever lesson you were supposed to learn from all this. I know you've moved on to higher grounds. Your soul wouldn't shine as it does it you were still drowning in this stagnant pool of deceit and lies.

      I look forward to reading your story. Thanks for sharing it with everyone. You're creating an awareness and that's important.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi Jools, I am working on it, as I have just published it as an ebook, I need to add bits and take bits away, it was a very large hub before but I need to do the links etc, but thanks so much for reading, cheers nell

    • Jools99 profile image

      Jools99 5 years ago from North-East UK

      Nell, a very interesting hub. Voted up and shared.

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