ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The Truth About Men in Relationship

Updated on October 14, 2010
Wondering about Love? Ask a Psychic. Get 5 Free Minutes
Wondering about Love? Ask a Psychic. Get 5 Free Minutes | Source

     I am going to let you in on very important truth about men and why they so often stop being loving partners in relationships. If you don't know what a man is looking for in relationship, and what makes him feel great about staying with you, it's likely that you're unintentionally making the man you're with, feel like a FAILURE in your relationship.

     And, not just once in a whiles, you're doing this in lots of small ways, day in and day out that you haven't even been conscious of before now. This is a HUGE MISTAKE to make with a man, When a man feels like a failure in a relationship, he will definitely stop giving to that relationship, think about how this has been true for you with men in your past relationships. Let me explain how big of a deal it is for a man to feel like a failure.

     When a man feels attracted to a woman and chooses her as the one woman he wants part of what keeps drawing him closer to her is how easy it feels to be with her and make her happy. This is the "honeymoon" state of relationship issues come up, "buttons" are pushed, and arguments start... most men are at loss. They don't know how to handle it. In fact, often times they don't.

     What women often say to men at these times is received not as an effort to do good for the relationship, but as a CRITICISM. and criticism quickly makes a man feel like a failure. A failure at making his woman happy the way he used to, so easily. And a failure at being simply WHO HE IS as a man. When this kind of thing starts, a man feels like he can't "win" with you. And once a guy starts to feel this way, you can't "fix it" You can only know exactly what this is and what it looks like, and stop doing it... Or... like lots of women mistakenly do, you can continue to push and poke and question him more, which only make him feel like more of a failure in your eyes and pulls him farther away.

     When this kind of things starts happening to you with your man, something changes for him in the relationship. And as much as you might not want it to be true, he is actually the one who feels confused about why your relationship isn't working and is so unnecessarily hard. And this make him question whether or not be should even BE in a relationship with you. I'll tell you something true about a good man - In this day and age, a good man doesn't need a long-term relationship. A good man might WANT one, it the right woman is in his life. But he doesn't NEED one. The only relationship a man "needs", is the kind of that makes him feel like a stronger, better, wiser and more important man.

     A man wants and needs to feel like a HERO in a relationship if he's going to stay for a long haul. Unfortunately, lots of men aren't feeling this way in relationships and it's causing them to act out or withdraw from their relationship in frustration. If a man doesn't feel like a hero with you, and instead feels like a constant or semi-consistent FAILURE, then I can tell you... It won't last. And it only takes a few moments to shock a man into the "failure more" where he'll start questioning everything and stop trying with you. Don't let this happen if you love each other. You have avoid "accidentally" making him feel like a failure and communicate your painful or negative emotions to him in a way he will LISTEN and feel like a HERO. You can avoid the reasons men leave woman they love, by increasing your understanding of what it takes to make him feel utterly DEVOTED to your happiness instead. Men don't think and feel exactly the same way most women do about a of things. Take how men are with SEX as an easy example; men are more visual, and in some circumstances have some challenges with fidelity. Mature men have a specific way of handling their sexual nature and sexual desire that's much different than most women. But here's the strange part... Men actually have more in common with women than you think, because men are first and foremost human beings. which means...

     Men want to feel cherished. Men want and need to feel your desire for tem, or they don't feel attractive, significant, or important. Men want to feel a sense of safety within a relationship, Men feel a sense of safety within a relationship. Men feel unappreciated and unheard if a woman doesn't notice or compliment them. Men also want to have the kind of FUN that can't be planned in a relationship, just like you.

     But here's what men want most of all... Like you, a man just want to feel UNDERSTOOD and accepted unconditionally for who HE is. I can't overstate the importance of this for men. A man has an intense burning need and desire to feel understood by the woman he's with, just for being the man that he is. If a woman makes a man feel great in tis way, there's nothing that will take him away from her. Not day-to-day relationship issues. Not arguments. Not hurt feelings. Not other woman. Nothing. Why? Because if a woman can make a man feel all those things, and understand and accept him for being a man, he will be utterly devoted to her. This is one of THE BIG SECRETS to a man's heart.

     Now comes the hard part - knowning what to start doing differently with a man, when he's right there in front of you and some of the same feelings or frustrating situations come up... How will you handle this with him? if you think you already know what men are about, you're in for more unhappy surprises in your relationships. This might be hard to bear, but the things that you worry most about in men, are often the things you are bringing into your relationship frustrating him and yourself with. Before you can have a clear and loving relationship with a man, you've got to empty your cup first. Tell me if any of these things about men sound true to you:

  • Men like a challenge. They like the chase. If you're too "easy" or approachable, they'll get bored or lose interest.
  • Men are dominant in relationships and women therefore are unable to express themselves.
  • Men cheat and are incapable of being monogamous.
  • Men would secretly love to date and sleep with different women the rest of their life, rather than just have to stay with one serious committed relationship.

     Men just want to have fun and 'freedom" and no responsibility. I want to suggest something to you right now: Whether or not you know it at this moment, many of the beliefs you hold about men are quite simply NOT TRUE about all of them. And not only are a lot of these beliefs about most men inaccurate, many of them are downright the OPPOSITE of the truth. The beliefs or "myths" that you hold onto, consciously or not, are actually PREVENTING you from having the kind of intimate, connected and committed relationship you could be having with a man. and to a man... What you believe is true about him from the moment you get into a relationship, you own limited beliefs are preventing a man from feeling great with you, as they cast a shadow over him in your entire relationship. And he knows it and is frustrated by it to no end. Most men don't like to feel "wrong" ever in the first place in relationships. But more to the point, they certainly don't want to feel like a woman is pining all the urgly warts that every other "creep' from her past might have had on him. The point is... these misconceptions and beliefs about men you're clinging to, are actually causing you to HURT your relationships, and hurt the man you're with.

     Here are a few simple but profound secrets about men... Men will do anything to make sure they avoid committing to a relationship with a woman who is often unhappy, and most importantly, hard to please.

     Men crave the affection of a woman who they have an easy time making happy, and men want and need a woman who knows how to INSPIRE them to lead a great life - both as a man and a lover. If a man starts seeing the signs and red flags of a hard to please woman, he's going to immediately start questioning if the woman is right for him. When you show a man that you trust him to be a good partner to you, you inspire his devotion and you trigger his attraction to you. That's why, when you know what men want, and what works for a man in your relationship... all of a sudden, getting what YOU WANT from him becomes so easy you that wonder how it ever felt so impossible!


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      Smiling Dave 19 months ago

      Dear Forexdollar4me,

      As a guy, I've started reading articles written for women, to gain insight on how women think. This essay (or hub) accurately described to me, what I felt inside, in my long term relationships that have all hit the rocks.

      I've printed this article out. It summarizes my life. You bring the subject matter from subconscious to conscious.

      Thanks Smiling Dave

      (P.S. What does Forexdollar4me stand for?)

    • profile image

      Anitha 3 years ago

      Know the facts about men of how they react ,act and wthat their nature is.

    • rachitha profile image

      RACHITHA CABRAL 5 years ago from Mangalore

      Very Useful and an eye opener for most of us independent women who think we can manage it all. Loved your article!

    • forexdollar4me profile image

      forexdollar4me 6 years ago from United State

      @PaulaHenry1, Thanks for your comment!

    • profile image

      Lotty 7 years ago

      Great article

    • PaulaHenry1 profile image

      PaulaHenry1 7 years ago from America

    • PaulaHenry1 profile image

      PaulaHenry1 7 years ago from America

      You hit it on the head. My realtionship of 5 years just ended because of him not feeling 'needed' or wanted. I work 2 jobs and have children,one his. I seldom have time to do the cuddling or private time do to these obstacels. Although we love each other, it is too much for him and he walked away...Great and helpful Hub!