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The Type of Guys You Find on Online Dating Sites

Updated on February 10, 2016

The dating game is getting rougher and rougher out there and opting for online dating doesn’t really make the selection pool greater. My experience with online dating showed me that a majority of men (and I’m pretty sure women) can be grouped in categories. For your entertainment pleasure, here are some of the guys that flood the online dating scene:

The guy showing off his fish: I’m in northern Florida so these are the guys that show up the most.

The guy showing off his gold teeth: Again, I’m in northern Florida so these are the second group of guys that show up the most.

The baller: His pictures consist of cars, a beautiful home, vacation spots, and a few of himself with an oversized watch and crisp suit. Rarely would you find him looking for anything more than casual dating.

The guy pictured with kids and then say in his profile that he doesn’t have kids: This always confused me. He’ll have pics of him smiling with kids that look like him but his profile says he doesn’t have any kids. I can only assume that maybe the kids are nieces or nephews . . . . but why would you put a pic of somebody else’s kids in your profile? You can always mention that you get along great with kids, you don’t have to post images of other people’s kids as proof. I guess that’s just the overprotective mom in me.

The guy pictured with other women: He’s pictured with cheerleaders or women that you can tell from the way they’re dressed and hanging on him that they aren’t his sister, mom, daughter, niece, cousin, aunt, or grandma.

The guy showing off his muscles: He wants to make sure all the women know he lift, and if the first picture wasn’t enough then he posted five more for backup.

The guy showing off more than his muscles: Too much, way too soon.

The guy trying too hard to be funny: Every single picture has something comical . . . every . . . single . . . picture.

The guy whose eyebrows are arched better than mine: These have me jealous and concerned.

The guy whose eyebrows, makeup, wig, dress, and shoes are better than mine: These have me even more jealous and even more concerned.

The guy pictured in his jail cell but is wanting something long term: He NEVER comes out and says he’s incarcerated but “needs to find a girl understanding of his current situation”.

The guy who’s “only checking this site out”: translation: he’s too ashamed to admit he’s using an online site for dating

The guy who thinks “this site is stupid/for losers”: translation: he’s mad because none of the girls he’s going after is responding back to his email

The guy who thinks “girls on the site are stuck up”: translation: same as the above guy, but this guy sends out multiple emails to the same girls and is mad he’s not getting a response back

The guy who’s “deleting profile soon”: I guess this is a ploy for girls to try to “catch” him before it’s too late?

The “take me as I am” guy: sounds like someone is not open to compromise which can possibly mean changes (a change which could be for the better)

The guy who is pictured in the club in every picture: So basically he’s saying rather than doing something productive in his spare time – he parties every chance he gets instead.

The guy showing off a dead animal he killed: I guess he wants me to know that I’ll never go hungry?

The guy who puts up a funny quote rather than his picture: What is he hiding???

The cougar chaser: His age is listed as being in the 30s or 40s but in his profile he writes that he is barely 18 but “is very mature for his age and entered a higher age because he likes older women”. Since when did lying become a characteristic of being mature?

The Christmas tree-er: He rushed through the profile questions to hurry up and have his profile created. So his answers, lack of profile description (which is something usually like this: jtrhgfvhUFIHE;HF;EHFRHFUR – I’ll finish this later), and pictures seem to be pieces from different puzzles.

The guy who is picture perfect because the picture in his profile came from some type of advertisement or has been photo shopped: CATFISH!!!

Although dating sites consist 90% of the men listed above, there really are some great guys out there looking for the “one”. It’ll take some time, a lot of patience, more than a few questionable messages but the right match will come along.

Happy and safe dating everyone!

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