The Unpopular Opinion that Being Married is Actually as Awesome as Being Single
It’s a popular trend these days to debunk “traditional” lifestyles. People who are married before the age of thirty are chastised. It’s highly recommended to remain single throughout your twenties. There are even numerous articles explaining why people should embrace the single lifestyle. Having children is often seen as “selling out”. Those of us who bring life into the world are laughed at because we aren’t out traveling or embarking on some wild adventure. Or furthering our careers in the way society deems appropriate.
We see pictures like this:
And are told we can't be free if we tie ourselves to another human being.
As much as I believe that remaining single as long as you damn well please is incredibly important, I also believe society is giving marriage at a young an unfair shot. And, as much as I agree that no one should have children unless they truly want to be parents, I also believe that society is making parent life seem much less glamorous than it actually is.
I mean, if you look closely...
...this is actually pretty fabulous, too. (And not just because it's a picture of me and my daughter.)
Seeing as how there are so many people out there arguing for remaining single and childless, I thought I would spend a little time playing devil’s advocate and give a few reasons why the traditional, boring, “family life” is actually 100% equal to that single life everyone seems to hold in such high esteem.
Being married gives you a permanent #mcm or #wcw
Putting aside the fact that we all love hashtags (even if we won't admit it), it's just so nice to always know who your man/woman crush will be. No more terrible first dates. No more horrible kisses. Just the love of your life. It's forever. It's permanent. And it is amazing.
You always have someone around to hold your hair while you vomit into the toilet after a rough night out… And they’ll still love you in the morning.
I know I know, you guys are thinking, "I have friends for that," but tell the truth...we've all been silently (or not silently) judged by certain members of our friend groups when we got a little too shwasty face. Your spouse won't do that. They will hold your hair back. Kiss your forehead. Then tell you in the morning how disgusting you were with a smile on their face and the dooey gaze of love in their eyes.
Marriage puts an end to the search for sex. You want sex? Just roll over and the best sex you’ve ever had is laying right next to you.
Do I really need to explain this one?
Any awkward situations or obligatory events come with a built in buffer.
Even better than using your significant other as a buffer between you and those family members/friends you don't really like is using them as an excuse to miss the party entirely. "Oh, I'm so sorry I can't make it, so and so isn't feeling well." Works like a charm. It's even better when you have a kid to blame. No one questions the baby excuse.
Two incomes = twice the money
Again, does this need an explanation?
Having children is one of the most exciting adventures there is.
Everyone seems to be under the impression that the exciting moments in life stop when you become a parent. I can't explain how completely untrue that is. Traveling was so much fun before I had a baby, but now I look forward to all the places I'm going to take her. I have a list of cities and countries I want her to see one day. The idea of showing these things to her is already more exciting than I thought it would be.
Also, if you think adventures stop once you bring a baby into this world you have obviously never dealt with a blow out in the middle of checking out at the store on the one day you forgot to bring an extra onesie. Talk about adventure...
But seriously, the first time my child wrapped her hand around my finger and smiled at me was one of the most exhilarating and amazing moments of my life.
Imparting life lessons onto a little mini-you makes you feel like a total badass.
All of those stupid things you did in college are now stories. Every crazy, ridiculous, spontaneous moment is fuel on the fire that is your children's opinion of you. My daughter is an infant, so I haven't reached this point yet, but I have an 11 year old sister. It's amazing to watch her face light up when I impart some sort of wisdom onto her. Followed by an example from my own life. It sounds simple, but kids really do think you're a rockstar in those moments. It's great.
Being able to keep a human alive also makes you feel like a total badass.
Before I had my daughter my diet consisted of marshmallow puff and booze. Seriously, it feels like yesterday I was downing glass after glass of scotch in between cigarettes and now I'm caring for a living, breathing baby. And the crazy part is that she's totally healthy. She even smiles from time to time. And that's all because of me. Me.
Nothing can propel you headfirst into chasing your dreams like the desire to be able to tell your children you never gave up.
It's so easy to say "I have time" when you're only thinking of yourself, but when you have a tiny person there with you every day it's hard to forget all the little things you wish you could put off. And it's impossible to not have your life long dream shoved in your face when you look into those tiny little eyes and think, How am I supposed to teach him/her to dream when I keep giving up on my own? There is nothing more motivating or inspirational than the one person who believes you hang the moon.
Babies are really damn cute.
This one also speaks for itself.
It’s true that living your life with no one to answer to can be amazingly liberating. I wouldn’t dare suggest that it’s in any way better to be married with children. BUT it is equally amazing, so let’s all stop giving this “traditional” lifestyle a bad rap and start embracing whatever it is we want to do for ourselves. Fly to your own beat, little butterflies.