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The Wandering Eye Gone Overboard: Why Do Some Men Get Married Anyway?
We hear all the time about how men are visual creatures and women overall are more attracted to one's personality. Although both sexes can fall into these categories, I think all humans are a combination of both, which can be good and bad. It is attractive and alluring when a man is subtle and can give a woman an appreciative look, but it is downright disgusting when attached and married men have to flaunt their wandering eye. Who are they kidding really?! There are many men in this world that look, but they are mature enough not to foam at the mouth over it. People may admire a house, a car, or a new dress, but do you talk about it 24/7? Most likely not. The bottom line is most people do not find it mature or savvy to hear married folks flaunt their wandering eye. It may seem cute or make you sound hip in the moment, but what kind of message are you sending to the world? It comes across as slightly egotistical and not very respectful towards your significant other. Subltey is far more sexy than the blatant chatter about how every blonde in the room makes you want to swoon.
Been There, Done That
Once a few years ago I dated a guy with the wandering eye gone overboard. Obviously I am dark haired, but when we were out and about he constantly talked about beautiful blonds in the room. One particular time he was drooling over the waitress, how cliché, and his friend's wife called him on his comments. Well Sweetiepie is not a blond she pointed out, but he just scowled when she called him on his bad behavior. In his narcissistic and sarcastic tone he said "I know, but I am free to look everywhere". I was so disgusted with his immaturity and confronted him with it after we left the restaurant.
I told him point blank we really should not be together if he felt this way about blonds and wanted to desperately be with someone who looked Nordic. He made the flimsy comment about how loved blonds very much, but that he also loved me too. At this point I realized he was lying through his teeth because his friends were there and he did not want to look like a jerk.
Obviously after that day we really did not spend much time together and the Christmas season was very strained. This situation taught me something very important about the type of behavior I will and will not accept from men. Women are guilty of the same things, but I am writing from my experience as a woman.
I think being single is a beautiful thing in a world where many have made a sham and a mockery of marriage. So wow you got married when you wanted to just talk about other people?! Well maybe we should just hand these gentlemen and ladies and award for acting worse than high schoolers when it comes to controlling their hormones. Ironically, many teenagers are better at controlling the thoughts that pop in their head.
So what is one to think about married people who openly and blatantly talk about cheating or looking at other people besides their spouse? Can I be blunt: I think they are hypocrites! Why did you marry this person unless you wanted to spend the rest of your life with them? If a joke of a marriage is fun and being married in name only is so appealing, why bother?! Maybe you should consider being a single person so you can openly date others if you have an extreme need to be around other people and flirt with them. You know, this makes really good sense actually.
One guy I knew constantly talked about other women in front of his then wife. Well folks it does not take a rocket scientist to figure out why his wife left him. So even though he may not have had a physical affair on her, his constant remarks about women in her presence where a mark of disrespect and infidelity.
When it comes down to it, I actually respect the men who remain single because they are mature and savvy enough to admit they have a wandering eye. I may not want to date these guys, but I have far more respect for them than the men who are married and flaunt their extramarital escapades. Even overt flirting is a sign of disrespect towards your spouse, and yes, others do pick up on this. If you have to constantly flirt with others then maybe you should figure out why you need to do this. Are you looking for validation? Are you too insecure to be happy with yourself, and need constant affirmations as to whether you are attractive? At this juncture it might be good to put some more time into your own relationship and to stop flirting with people who are not in it.
When women cheat is is usually because they have a connection with a man, not just because he looked super sexy in that suit. However, many men have confessed to having one night stands with a woman they thought looked stunning at the moment. Both sexes are guilty of long term physical and emotional affairs, but both of these types of trists are degrading and disrespectful. At the end of the day it is a couples' business whether they want to flirt with others and have an open relationship, but does that mean the world wants to hear about it?! As they said back in high school: get a room!